I left DH and now OM has gone

[Betrayedandithurts]

OM and I had been having an affair For past 6 years. During this time we both left partners on different occasions For each other but the timing was never right. First DH lost his job and I couldn’t leave and then OM’s wife had depression then she was sick, but wasn’t really, and he couldn’t leave and then both have had issues with children and timing wasnt right. Both DH and his wife know about us obviously.

Children now older and we decide we had to do it now and we both said we will leave together and I have and my divorce Has finally come through but now OM has disappeared off the face of the earth. I am heartbroken and don’t understand how he can do this to me.Don’t know what to do. He isn’t a nice person is he? Why would he disappear. His wife knows I am divorcing and do you think she just pulling another one of her sick stunts? Sickness, depression, or whatever other thing she has done Before to make him stay? Or is it him?

Don't blame the ex wife, just like she shouldn't blame you. All blame should go where it belongs, i.e. the lying toad who caused this.

Wishing you happiness once you get over the initial hurt of being betrayed like this.

OP, you've learned something now, haven't you? Men can be very unpleasant, whether your marriage is arranged or not. Deep breaths and move on. The best revenge is to have a wonderful life.

I can't stand cheats.
If you cheat, expect to get cheated on. It's not rocket science

@whatsthatunderthebridge there are some comments on here that the thread maybe a fake thread, I was merely pointing out that its a very likely scenario, I see nothing wrong in that. You may also note that I have not supported OPs actions whatsoever.
And no I am well versed in MN and how people respond on here!

When you marry your mistress you create a vacancy

Is this the best you can do- quote cliches?

Not always- plenty of posts here every day on men who married the OW and lived happily ever after (with no mistress in the wardrobe.)

All posts calling her a troll are reported. MN takes a dim view of this.

Oh dear OP, that didn't go as planned, did it?

Nope sorry, this isn’t real. Reported.

are you hoping some magazine picks this up to sell your story? No sympathy.

@JinglingHellsBells

Too many posters here in their pulpits, who seem, bless them, to be stain-free, never done anything wrong in their lives ever, who are very callous. Maybe they are bit dim because it's crystal clear to me this is partly a cultural issue where someone has no real life experience of men and takes them at their word.

Ba haha ha ha ha HA HA HA!!!!! 😂

You're the gift that keeps on giving!

The ignorance and spite of some posters on here is shocking. You've made a mistake OP, we all do, and tbh I don't think in your circumstances it is shocking, just learn from it and move on to a brighter future.

@JinglingHellsBells jog on 😂

This poor woman made a mistake

6 YEARS of laying back and shagging a man that she's not married to is not a mistake.

@RushianDisney

LOL!

@Contraceptionismyfriend

6 YEARS of laying back and shagging a man that she's not married to is not a mistake.

This ^ 100%...

Shagging someone for 6 years isnt a mistake. What the fuck were they trying to do?

I dont consider myself perfect, far from it. I have never snagged someone by mistake. Never mind for 6 years.

It's always odd that OP is claiming cultural reasons for not leaving her husband. That doesnt really add up. Cultures that dont approve of divorce, dont approve of adultery either.

Odd that OP wasnt that bothered by that. Or bothered about screwing the wife over aswell.

Clearly many posters on this thread have had no experience of being in an abusive marriage that you can't get out of easily...

If he had been really serious about you he would have divorced his wife asap and lived as a single man in his own accommodation.
OP its not what people say its what they do that counts. I would have known he was a bullshitter really early on. Right there's not much you can do but at least you are out of your marriage and you can do what you want with who you want.
I'd just forget about him and move on in life.

Well, Karma is a bitch, eh?

You are right, he isn’t a nice man so you are well rid. You’ve also not covered yourself in glory. However, look at the positives - you’re free, find a good one & when you do then treat each other well, with honesty and respect and have a relationship which isn’t built on deceit and fantasy and doesn’t hurt anyone else & you are far more likely to find happiness. Also drop the blame game, it’s a very unpleasant character trait - that poor wife of OM is probably now destined to waste more of her life on some lying, cheating scumbag - you’re the lucky one in this scenario. Spend this time working on being a better person & it might all work out for you after all...

Clearly many posters on this thread have had no experience of being in an abusive marriage that you can't get out of easily...

I have. I still didn't shag someone else's husband. Dragging other people into it, isnt ok.

So abusive that she had the freedom and tenacity to shag someone for 6 years. I know MN does the whole we believe and abuse story....but nope.

but now I don’t believe him.

You’ve now decided after he’s been lying to his wife for 6 years, he might also be lying to you?

Sounds like you've been stupid.
You should have divorced before seeing other men, if you weren't happy in your marriage. Especially with kids involved.

Silly you, OM is probably onto his next f* buddy.