Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Ah, crustaceans, I’m not bothered. It’ll take more than appalling taste in music to completely put me off a hot younger man! I’m just very intrigued by his old-fashioned hearts and flowers style, does he think I was born yesterday? Talking to two other new irons on Tinder, an old iron came back on Saturday (just lonely and horny, poor love), plans with both FWBs this week, plus Mr Courteous still burbling away. Phew! None of it is real

Sorry, lilly, why would you ‘carrying on like you used to’ freak him out?

@Marlboroandmalbec34 what the actual fuck? He can get a fuckity bye too then. Even if you were becoming ambivalent about him, being lied to (not even gaslighting, just lying, plain and simple) is mean and nasty.

@SimonJT can I get a PM about your irons, and the song? I am so not down wiv da kidz as I have no idea despite your clues 😆

@Lillyrose19 sparse messaging and no meet up for 3 weeks? That’s a pretty loose idea of an exclusive relationship IMO. Even if logistics prevent a get together surely there’d be loads of contact to maintain the connection? It sounds like you’re ready to cut him loose.

I can see I’m going to get lots of work done today 😂

I have the musical taste of a 14 year old. No shame.

@CassettesAreCool Sounds like you're having a busy time! 👍🏻 Do let us know what the song is MrHot sends you we can go ahhhhhhh 🥰 or ewwwwww 🤮! 😂

@Lillyrose19 Nearly 3 weeks since you saw each other, but messaging is sparse and your supposed to be exclusive? Something isn't right there. I dont think you're feeling it if you're swiping, but you're probably too nice to end things with him as well. Perhaps one of you should grasp the nettle and do it. Was one of you more keen than the other to become exclusive? How long had you been seeing him prior to that?

@kerkyra Glad to hear MrDadBod (I ❤ his name) didn't throw his toys out of the pram when he got your message. Slow is obviously what you need and he sounds respectful of that.

Still no L word from me or MrC, though from some late night slightly tipsy messaging from him last night I know he's got the feels for me 🥰, he's such a softy. Had a real flying visit and don't see him again until next weekend now but I do get 2 nights with him. I've got a nice card to send him in the post this week I got off Etsy. Not too gushy but gets the message across.

Mr SAS saw this sign somewhere and sent it to me a while back!

Mr Art was clearly tipsy and horny last night as his messages were getting more and more racy. He told me I have great t*ts (the best he's ever had, apparently), that his misses them (this was after he asked for a photo of them and I said no) and then told me the sex was amazing 😂

It was him who decided I wasn't available enough as I had kids 🙄

Pleeeease Simon

Right after some mad revenge swiping last night I have 15 new tinder matches and 4 on bumble. I am on this like a car bonnet! I need me a Mr Cornish/ BC/ Eagle/ Bookworm/ SG (sorry if missed any of the super irons)

It must be so weird hearing songs about you on the radio @SimonJT.

It’ll take more than appalling taste in music to completely put me off a hot younger man!.

Haha. Well, obviously. A hearts and flowers style sounds dire.

@Lillyrose19 why has it been 3 weeks? I wouldn’t be impressed with sparse messaging. At all.

@JeSuisPrest I think the L word is not far away for you and MrC.

My (really quite cheesy) L-word story is that MrSG and I were lying in bed talking rubbish. He said a couple of times that he’d like to come to my office at work and he’d write MrSG loves Crustaceans on my whiteboard. I decided that I’d go for it in the L-word chicken and said, ‘I do love you, you know’. He responded with a delighted and surprised ‘Really? I love you too’. I told you it was cheesy.

That’s a great card @shitwithsugaron. It’s a shame his children can read.

MrArt needs to find someone else to help him wank, frankly.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 You obviously don't have any problems getting matches - lucky you!

I rarely like the look of someone enough to swipe right and when i do I rarely match. I think maybe I'm punching above my weight!

I'm not swiping at all now anyway and my thumb is feeling redundant!

@Crustaceans MrArt needs to find someone else to help him wank, frankly.

Yes, I think you're right! I am happy to be friendly with him and don't mind a little flirt but I'm not sexting someone I'm not having sex with (anymore).

@CassettesAreCool just because I know he doesn't want a relationship so where I used to text him loads and be quite suggestive I've really stepped back but he's so laid back he doesn't take any initiative. @Sidge I think I might be but don't want too 😢 he is lovely but I do want more really.

I wish I had the sophisticated taste of a 14 year old, frankly the stuff I hear on radio 1 sounds so rubbish it makes me feel old and pathetic. The song was I’m Your Angel by Celine Dion, with R Kelly who I gather may or may not be a sex trafficker. Score

Oh that’s cute @shitwithsugaron. 🥰

Celina Dion and R Kelly. Eurgh. That’s awful. I’d think even my mum was too young for that shite. Also the sex trafficking thing is definitely offputting.

My taste in music is crap and (pretty) embarrassing. But it’s not the kind of crap that 14 year olds listen to, or that they play in radio 1. That said MrSG told me that he thinks I’m much cooler than him, because I listen to bands he’s never heard of. Then I made him listen to alt country. 😂

@JeSuisPrest after our second date he said he wasn't speaking to anyone and had come off apps. He was keen at first but I think he scared himself a bit as to how he felt and just backed off saying he didn't want a relationship, so I was more invested really. Was going to see how we get on over the summer as like @Sunshineandflipflops I've got a fair bit planned. Maybe I should just go back to not giving a shit and messaging him loads (he messages back) and taking the lead again 🤷‍♀️. Our first date was beginning of Feb.

@Crustaceans kids and he's always meeting up with friends. He has his kids for three days then free for three then kids again.
@Sunshineandflipflops me too 🤣🙈 and normally they are that good looking I get too intimidated by them and assume they are players.

That’s quite a weird contact schedule. I would find the actual days changing all the time really annoying.

If he’s always meeting up with friends, it doesn’t sound like he’s prioritising you. Obviously, people shouldn’t ditch all their friends but not making any time in 3 weeks would have me feeling a long way down the priority list.

@Lillyrose19
feel like I'm cheating on him. We are meant to be exclusive so I shouldn't be looking should I?

He doesn't want a relationship, he pursued in the beginning and now he's not - you owe him nothing except maybe an explanation that you're going to start seeing other people since you do want a relationship but you're happy to keep seeing him if he wants to

I replied to Mr dadbods txt last night but he hasn't txt since. I'm hoping it dies a slow death as he wasnt for me.
I love the innitial getting to know someone but then little things start bugging me. So now I know I need slow burners.
Bugging things about the lovely Mr dadbod was that he had moved back in with his mum a couple of years ago and seemed to have no plans to move out. And that made me think he would always be here for sleepovers. And if things were great,move in with me( like the last three all did).
Now,I'm not the trendiest person,but i do try and look ok,but his style is quite scruffy. I had a phone chat with the lovely Mr drummer yesterday and he probably thought I need to take people as I find them,but scruffy shoes and Jean's are hard to ignore.

Do other people think about this sort of thing? Or they love the person regardless

I'm sorry too marl, I hope you can be strong and move on, shame he just couldnt be honest.

@Kerkyra It depends what you mean by "scruffy" I guess? I don't mind casual but scruffy to me is holey/falling apart and I'm not into that!

Mr SAS has a very simple, classic style of levis, plain, well-fitting t-shirts, denim/leather jacket and white or black converse. He rocks it

I'm going to end up a lonely old woman!! I need to sort myself out. I think a relationship is off the cards for now so I'm going to stay off the apps and try and work out my commitment issues