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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've met someone and want to ask him out

949 replies

ProfessorPickles · 25/04/2016 22:30

I've recently met someone who has really taken me by surprise. I've been single for around 3 years now, apart from a short relationship, and I'd had very little interest in men for a long time until I met him.

He's good looking but what got me by surprise is his personality, he's very smiley and has a great sense of humour. He makes me laugh and is a genuinely nice person. I haven't met someone who's even caught my eye for a long, long time so it's a little bit exciting! Smile

The problem however, is that he's a teacher at my university. Not my teacher, but I have contact with him occasionally.
We are a similar age (I'm a slightly older student) and I will be leaving in 2 months so would wait until then.

I have no idea if he is interested in me too, but I can't believe I've had my head turned after so long of being adamant I was going to be happily alone forever so I feel it would be foolish to just ignore it.

My idea was to give him a 'thank you' card/gift as I am leaving (for helping with my work, I'll be giving them to two other members of staff) and put my number inside. I thought this would be good so he can choose to take it or leave it, as it's potentially a little bit inappropriate?
If he isn't interested he can simply ignore it to spare me the embarrassment of asking to his face! Although, I've known several teachers to get together with students once they've left so I suppose it isn't that radical of an idea.

Best case scenario: We go on a date, fall in love, get married, have children and tour the country with our family band.

Worst case scenario: He never contacts me and life goes on.

It's worth a try surely? Grin

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LovePGtipsMonkey · 02/06/2016 21:38

if you pass him in corridors Prof, you can always just stop for a second and ask what's a good time to come in for a chat.
How is it suddenly two weeks though? last weekend you said it was 4 and I was thinking, what a long wait still! but whatt a relief if so. And please don't just wait for group drinks in some hope - you have to give him the card before then or at least during that last night as you may not see him afterwards.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 02/06/2016 21:40

It is a traditional name PGtips. He's got four brothers and they seem to have traditional names too.

Incidentally, you would not believe the number of Catholic families in our city. At my children's school you'll see parents driving mini buses with five, six or even seven children spilling out onto the car park. It's unbelievable when you aren't used to it. All the children will have very Old French names. Quite beautiful, actually.

LovePGtipsMonkey · 02/06/2016 21:43

ooh Muddle, how nice! treated to breakfast AND lunch, flowers, cake - we are happy for you!

He's definitely not moving house or just having a very long holiday, he never takes more than 2-3 weeks off. I hope it's not anything medical. I know, it could be something else, but what with then being together for few yrs and if she/they want DC being the age they are, it's quite likely. I'll find out soon.

apivita · 02/06/2016 21:43

Hey this!

Can you not pop in to the garage and enquire about it? Or ring? I'd maybe do it near a meal time or in a manner where you can perhaps linger or ask to go for a quick bite and it won't look too strange.

Was there a time line they gave and are clearly over that time already?

Didn't quite get the party thing but I'd rather do a smaller gathering just so you can get to know him. If I had a big party I'd probably not speak much to him which will defeat the purpose.

LovePGtipsMonkey · 02/06/2016 21:44

This can you give a hint what part of France is this - I thought not many aer this traditional anymore. Not South it seems, but far from Paris.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 02/06/2016 21:46

And now you all know his name and how to pronounce it Grin perhaps you could all do my dirty work for me and go to the garage in my stead and find him and sort this out for me.

Come on, ladies; I'll pay for your plane tickets, business class!

LovePGtipsMonkey · 02/06/2016 21:47

apivita that's exactly what I suggested re garage, both options. This htinks it will be too obvious - it will not! but yes, best to choose time when boss may be out, not sure how that would work. In any case, better to chat when boss there then not at all.

ProfessorPickles · 02/06/2016 21:47

Sorry PG, we have two weeks left of uni work starting next week. Then it's the start of the following week where we have our last day Smile so it's closer to 3 weeks!

The problem is he's never actually free, he isn't timetabled at the minute and is constantly busy. He's around constantly at the minute so surely a chance must be just around the corner!

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ProfessorPickles · 02/06/2016 21:48

Sorry PG, we have two weeks left of uni work starting next week. Then it's the start of the following week where we have our last day Smile so it's closer to 3 weeks!

The problem is he's never actually free, he isn't timetabled at the minute and is constantly busy. He's around constantly at the minute so surely a chance must be just around the corner!

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ProfessorPickles · 02/06/2016 21:49

I'll call up and say the boss needs to come out and assists me immediately and that only the boss will do, then you can swoop in unannounced This Grin

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LovePGtipsMonkey · 02/06/2016 21:49

does he speak English, This? I can read French quite well but I'm not a fluent speaker (very far from it)!

Muddlewitch · 02/06/2016 21:49

We could totally do that ThisIs, I had some practice going up to lads and saying "my mate fancies you" in my much younger days, I could probably still pull it off Grin

ProfessorPickles · 02/06/2016 21:51

Muddle, once you've done that for This can you please come so it for me? Blush
I was actually thinking to myself that I wish I could do that, it was so much easier back in those days! Grin

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apivita · 02/06/2016 21:51

Ah right sorryPG didn't read all that thoroughly enough. I skimmed through as have been busy.

this so you now have 2 people suggesting the same thing! We also appear to be similar aged to you... Wink although I have much younger kids.. Go on then. What are you waiting for?!

ThisIsTheRightTime · 02/06/2016 21:51

OK, I'm going out on a limb here and throwing caution to the wind. I live just outside of Tours amongst the Vouvray vineyards.

Does that sound appealing? Yes? Then come over and help me! Grin

apivita, bless you for your input. The party does not seem like the best idea as I am adamant I want my children and their friends to be there too. As you probably know in France children mix all the time with adults and tend to go to bed very late indeed which would make things tricky for me.

No date was fixed for the Jag. The boss and his wife decide which cars are priority and obviously my car is not going to be a priority. I wasn't expecting it to be this long though...

I will think over your solutions and thank you yet again.

LovePGtipsMonkey · 02/06/2016 21:53

Prof, basically I'll have to hang around waiting for him to leave after the event, in answer to your q, which I hate doing. He may come out with colleagues (likely) or even go out some different way, and if he doesn't want to talk to me or is not friendly (if on his own) I'd feel very bad. I don't have to do it obv, but this is the last opp for the summer. I wish he suggests it himself, but not going to happen despite the nice eye contact last time.

Muddlewitch · 02/06/2016 21:55

ThisIs is the car empty? Or is there anything left in the boot/back that you have just remembered you need? Especially given that it's been away longer than you thought..

Muddlewitch · 02/06/2016 21:57

Absolutely Prof. I could pop to PG's neck of the woods en route, it will be the 'my mate fancies you" tour 2016.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 02/06/2016 21:57

And thank you to the birthday girl Muddle for her input!

The reason why I daren't go there, which is driving everyone nuts here, apivita, is that I am ridiculously hung up on making a move on a man. I cannot do it. I can imply, insinuate, orchestrate, and prompt but not be obvious. I don't think I've ever asked a man out in my life but I've never had such limited access to a man before either which makes things so much harder! Wink

ProfessorPickles · 02/06/2016 21:59

Excellent idea Muddle to have forgotten something!

PG - if this is the last opportunity then I'd say give it a go so you don't regret not trying. However, I'm not sure what you could say etc.
It's awful waiting to try bump into them, it leaves you feeling disappointed more often than not. Or it has in my case! But equally not trying leaves you wondering if you've missed the chance completely!

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ProfessorPickles · 02/06/2016 21:59

Excellent idea Muddle to have forgotten something!

PG - if this is the last opportunity then I'd say give it a go so you don't regret not trying. However, I'm not sure what you could say etc.
It's awful waiting to try bump into them, it leaves you feeling disappointed more often than not. Or it has in my case! But equally not trying leaves you wondering if you've missed the chance completely!

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ThisIsTheRightTime · 02/06/2016 22:00

Muddle, maybe I left a dead body in the boot of the Jag! No seriously, it's been off the road for over a year now, so if I go there just to find a CD of Bach's Lute Concertos lying under the front seat I'll look a little foolish.

Well, even more foolish than now.

ProfessorPickles · 02/06/2016 22:00

Muddle that made me laugh Grin I'm sure there'll be plenty of stops on the tour!

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ThisIsTheRightTime · 02/06/2016 22:01

I would be SO happy to help out with a 'my mate fancies you' situation for any of you in exchange for a helping hand.

I really do get the prize for being the biggest chat up wimp in France.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 02/06/2016 22:02

Prof, I love the fact we're getting your posts twice each time. That's really going to boost the total number of posts on this thread. Wink