DP can't cook. WWYD?

[sparklejumpropequeen]

DP is 26. Before I met him, he had literally never cooked a meal in his life. He is not stupid but has no idea how to cook. It's a problem for me because I don't like having to do all the cooking, all the time. He can put a ready meal in the microwave and make toast, but that is about the limit of his cooking skills. He doesn't know what to buy at the supermarket or how to make a meal from fresh ingredients. He would probably be living on takeaways and pot noodles if it wasn't for me. I'm honestly miffed at his mum for not showing him how to make basic stuff before he left home.

Has anyone had a DP or DH who was useless at cooking? How long did it take for them to get up to an acceptable standard? Any suggestions?

There are cooking classes you can send him too. It you can involve him when you cook.

Show him how to cut vegetables, get him to measure ingredients as you need them.

If he wants to, he will catch up.

Cooking course as a Christmas gift? Does he actually want to learn?

It's always the mother in laws fault isn't it on here? Never the father.

Buy him Jamie Oliver Ministry of Food. That's for beginners.

He wants to learn. He is embarrassed about not being able to cook.

My dh couldn't cook when we moved in together. He taught himself with a good basic cookery book and with me banned from 'helping'. He's an excellent cook now. My BIL learned with one of the Jamie Oliver books, they seem to be a good approachable option.

Cooking course for Christmas.

I sympathise I really do, but it is great that your dp wants to learn. Perhaps teach him one meal and make him responsible for that on a particular night each week, then build up hopefully! My dh can't, won't and has no desire to cook and after 10 years it does aggravate me a lot

Delia smith cook books are easy and nigella express one.

Meal plan using them, go with him to the shops and show him how to get everything out, follow the recipe and clear as he goes. Leave him to it - and he also tidies up.

He could start with omelettes - BBc do a receipe site, and Jamie / Delia and you tube.

Tbh, cooking together would teach him quite quickly. Like how one teaches a child:)

I have a Mary Berry book and a Rosemary Schaffer (sp?) one that are good - the problem with being a total beginner is a recipe will just say "make a roux with the butter and flour" but you have no idea what that means. These two books have sections on basic building blocks, they're really good.

There are cooking classes, basic cookery books, he could even ask you for tips and yet seemingly with all these obvious options open to him, you think his mother is to blame.

When ds was at university, he had a book called 'How to boil an egg'. It goes right back to basics but there's actually some quite nice easy recipesice in there. It's a good one for a beginner to master the basics before moving on to more ambitious stuff.

Teach him some basic dishes (bolognaise?), get him to chop etc and explain why things are done in a certain way. My DH enjoyed learning about the "why" aspect... why cook onions slowly (so they soften and don't burn), why let a sauce simmer down etc. In fact there's a good book about how to cook called Don't Sweat The Aubergine which is about how to cook everything, not a cook book or recipe book really, more of a researcher's approach, your DH might like that?

I couldn't cook anything when I was in my early twenties. It never occurred to me to blame my mother I taught myself, from books. It really isn't that hard. He just needs to try.

And then importantly let him be in charge of cooking a few nights, leave him to it. Yes it'll be a ready meal or beans on toast a couple of times but eventually he will build up his repertoire if he is willing to learn as you said.

My DH and his brother never cooked at home. Nor did their dad. And their mum was rubbish at it (so they all say, poor woman! She was busy with a full time job and 3 kids!).

Anyway, they've all become really good over the last ten years or so and are competitively chef-like, making family meals interesting (if complicated and very long!).

They all started out with Jamie Oliver and Nigel Slater books and DH and DBIL like more complicated Heston stuff now. DFIL likes to watch masterchef and has learned from that.

They all take huge pride in knives, pans, ovens etc!

I shared a house with a guy in his fourties who, although had a PhDs, didn't know what a 'pre heated oven' meant! At first I thought how stupid but there's actually a lot of jargon used in cookery that if you didn't already know it, would make following a recipe tricky...

Eg simmer, baste, fold etc

I'd never really cooked much before I was 23. I mean I could boil some pasta and add tomato sauce and cheese - that kind of level. Now I'm (I think!) a good cook. It's not hard to learn - you just follow recipes and learn from your mistakes. Agree about putting him in charge for a few nights a week rather than teaching him / letting him help you.

Mine was the same at the same age. I pointed him towards the books I'd learnt from for the why of it and also told him that all you have to do is follow the instructions anyway. I have no idea how long it took but he's certainly capable now, as in cook any meal, make Christmas dinner with no help etc.

There are recipe books out there aimed at novice cools written in a very masculine style

eg 4 Hour Chef - Timothy Ferris and Virgin to Vetran - Sam Stern.

Both assume zero knowledge, but aren't written in the Delia Smith style that assumes stupidity as well.

I would check that he wants to learn how to cook before bringing them home - I still seethe each time I think of the iron I was bought by my dh.

Veteran..

It's not just men that can't cook. I have a good friend whose DH did all the cooking. She hadn't a clue. Then they divorced and she didn't know where to start. Me and other friends rallied round and taught her the basics and now she is fine. She will never be a great cook but she has a repertoire of dishes she can produce. She is a greatly respected doctor in a hospital so certainly not stupid. She just never learned to cook as a teen.

I think this sounds a bit lame tbh. 26 and he wants to cook but doesn't? What a luxury.

If a 14yo can figure out how to put an egg in a pan or boil some pasta or fry some sausages I'm sure a adult can do the same without much hesitation.

What is stopping him?

My XH didn't cook and I don't think he wanted to. He once made me one meal which was brown fried stuff with a side of brown fried stuff and some brown stuff on the side. When he used to have the DCs he'd take them out or give them frozen ready meal lasagne. Cooking was beneath him apparently.

My DP can cook basic stuff, he makes amazing coleslaw (granted, no cooking!) and his savoury rice is great. He does watch me a lot and suggests things.

My do can do basic things like omelettes, sandwiches, etc and he's really tried but cooking isn't a skill of his
I'm a very good cook, so I prefer when I cook. My dh is a great husband though and I'm happy with that.

Why is it his mum's fault he can't cook? Why not his dad's?
DH does most of the cooking in our house. His dad taught him to cook when he was a child.
Anyway... Cooking really isn't difficult. Can he follow basic instructions? If so I'd point him in the direction of a cook book and let him get on with it.