DP can't cook. WWYD?

[sparklejumpropequeen]

DP is 26. Before I met him, he had literally never cooked a meal in his life. He is not stupid but has no idea how to cook. It's a problem for me because I don't like having to do all the cooking, all the time. He can put a ready meal in the microwave and make toast, but that is about the limit of his cooking skills. He doesn't know what to buy at the supermarket or how to make a meal from fresh ingredients. He would probably be living on takeaways and pot noodles if it wasn't for me. I'm honestly miffed at his mum for not showing him how to make basic stuff before he left home.

Has anyone had a DP or DH who was useless at cooking? How long did it take for them to get up to an acceptable standard? Any suggestions?

Reminds me of a conversation between my daughter and her friend:

"Mummy does adding and taking away. She doesn't do it herself though she uses a calculator"

"Wow that's cheating! I'm going to do that when I grow up. It's really easy"

They're not wrong...

Also down to being enabled by a partner who puts up with someone who assumes such work is for someone else to do.

err, no actually. he quite often lives on cereal or toast because i don't pander to his incapability. if he asks how to cook a pizza he is told to get a grip and read the packet. how is that enabling

actually i can see how you came up with that conclusion, i haven't spent the whole of the last 15 years showing him how to do stuff, i showed him when we first met but after a year or so i would give him the face and tell him to read the packet/book/website.

FoodWishes on youtube..it's brilliant and compelling to watch.

I could barely cook when I left home. Could barely run a washing machine either. Soon learned.

Necessity is the mother of invention, OP. If he wants to learn to cook (and shop for said cooking) all he needs to do is read a recipe book and make a list.

Way back in 1986 I got DH. He couldn't cook and didn't like 'all that fancy shite' that passed for herbs and spices that were available back then.

So, in a tiny galley kitchen he started to learn, browning mince, grilling meat, making stews and even microwave 'pinging'.

He soon decided that ready made meals were more expensive and tasted foul compared to made at homes. He branched out to Sunday lunches and on to making bread.

His worst effort, sustained over about 20 years, was after he learned to caramelise things. Oniions: check. Apples: check. Leeks: check. Cabbage - hold the bus!

It took a proper "Stop feeding me that burnt crap" conversation before he admitted that it didn't matter what he did, it wasn't going to work

Nowadays we share the cooking. He tends to do weekday stuff. All sorts, lots of herbs and spices. I tend to make more complicated dishes, weekend feasts, etc. It works well.

All you have to do is sit back and let him get on with it. He may surprise himself!

My DH can't cook. He could survive without me but he's definitely no chef, so he doesn't cook at home. I didn't do anything to "fix" him because he's an adult and if he doesn't want to cook, that's his choice and I married him in spite of his failure in the kitchen, just as he married me even though I know nothing about fixing the cars (and he does).

So on the days I don't want to cook, we eat left-overs, or he "makes" us a pizza or we get take out or something.

I agree with Scarlet who said I'd be livid if someone bought me a course on something I had no interest in as a gift just because it's something they think I should do.

I could have wrote this myself. Drives me insane

If he wants to learn, he will- 1 or 2 cookery books, plus a million YouTube videos with step by step tutorials on everything. Let him experiment and perhaps watch you cook a few times?

My dh can feed himself and he's quite good at certain basic things (eg omelettes). But he's never progressed past the basics nor does he realise quite a bad cook he is. His stuff is do bland and though he claims to like it like this, I can't believe it!
Tonight for example he'd bought some expensive mushrooms and despite me offering to make them he insisted he would do it. They were inedible, soggy, undercooked, no salt. He then got very pissy when no one would eat them. Or one day he said he would make chilli con carne - which consisted, I kid you not, of stirfried minced meat + a chopped onion. Literally nothing else.
It was worse than dog food and we had a massive argument over it - I couldn't touch it. but I mean, he's seen me make chilli a million times plus, look it up on the internet!

I get really wound up actually and I made him promise that if I die he has to take cooking classes to feed the kids!

My dh can't cook but I couldn't care less! He's the most supportive, capable of partners pulling his weight in every other way, clearing up after I've cooked, bringing me coffee in the morning, emotionally and financially supporting my children (who aren't his), the list goes on. But no, he can't cook. And?

If he's embarrassed and wants to learn why hasn't he done something about it already?

The internet exists. Presumably he knows how to search.

He clearly doesn't actually think it is important.

If he does want to learn, I'd second the suggestion of Delia's How to Cook.

My parents divorced when I was young, and my mother couldn't stand anyone in the kitchen with her when she was cooking. All I learnt from her was how to put jacket spuds in the oven, make an omelette for myself and how to make a Yorkshire salad. I taught myself to cook with Delia's books and DP now says I make certain meals better than his mum.