Weird online dating men arrrgh!

[Zermbo]

I am so done with online dating. Been exchanging messages with a guy for a few days, all going well, seems nice enough. We make a date for this weekend then he drops the bombshell that he wants me to record myself masturbating in public on my phone for him to watch before we meet wtaf???
Is there no nice, normal single men out there?

Arran socks! Get yer knittin' needles out girls, this is the man for you!

Twinklestein wins the internet with canal sex.

My snorts of laughter are concerning my colleagues.

I have just started the online dating thing and joined POF, the first week I was inundated with messages, most seemed lovely and few were really odd, I have been chatting to a few for a week or so, arrange to meet one yesterday and he never turned up , am chatting to another that is extremely good looking but a bit odd and crazy, not sure if I'm going to meet him.

Some of the profiles are just weird, why do people use their wedding photos for profile pictures? And the almost make posses showing off their pecs? Then you have the ones who have photos of them posing with puppies or kittens.

That's pretty much the norm on POF.

Man No 1. all going well and moved onto a conversation about why more female than male cyclists get killed - apparently it's because women think differently and can't predict how an articulated lorry is going to move.
Man No. 2. Saturday afternoon walk in woodlands. He appears wearing cream suit and perfectly groomed, I am in jeans....and rejected

Man No. 3 pleasant, asked me to take yoga classes with him. Didn't seem to be a less long term alternative.
Man No. 4 tomorrow.

One bloke rang me up and proceeded to interview me.

Height, (erm it's on my profile...)
Is your weight in proportion?
Did you have a boyfriend recently? Yes.
Was that a sexual relationship? Erm it was a relationship

By this time I'm alread going thru the steps I need to take to delete and block (new phone) but wanted see how far he'd take the conversation.

Do you like sex? Are you good at it? I've had no complaints, far from it...

So, it seems we are intellectually compatible, sexually compatible, we should meet... Erm yeah... I'll let you know...

BLOCK

I do know one guy who was asked to sign a sex contract! Dos and don'ts, frequency etc.

There are lions everywhere. But you can weedle them out fairly easily. It's entertaining tbh.

There are lots of reasons why some people are single.

It was a carp I think Rubbish, and it wasn't Charles Campion because he looked even more like Peter Griffin than Charles does, LOL.

"There are lions everywhere."

Take a dining chair and a whip with you and you'll be fine in the Big Top.

Well,"in the single row of users that have viewed you at some point" I have a couple looking for an extra female, a man wearing rubber shorts seeking a dom woman, a transvestite and a dead ringer for Matt Lucas with a fleece blanket and westie nestled on his lap.
Can strongly recommend POF.

I'm having great fun on POF tonight, at the moment I'm talking to 6 different men, 2 want a shag ( one is a fireman but not good looking at all ), one wants to fix my car ( we all know how he wants paying ), 2 want to go for a drink and another is a old friend who is stalking me. I'm usually asleep by now but I'm finding it all very entertaining. I probably won't meet any of them.

I read that as 'a dead westie in his lap'

Niche.

No, not dead, but I guess this fellas libido never existed

What is a westie?

Mademan, I'm guessing a West Highland Terrier however, in Sydney it refers to a person from western Sydney.
Could be either.

Ha ha "lions" ? I have No idea what I meant say there...

Ahh! loons that was it LOONS

I award this thread a

My pet hate is men that write in text speak.. hi how r u 2 day?
Drives me mad!!

I hate text speak too, someone messaged me something the other day and I had no idea what it said ( I'm not down with the kids ).

This morning I have had a man asking for photos of my legs

"I'm guessing a West Highland Terrier however, in Sydney it refers to a person from western Sydney. Could be either."

Thanks Concordial. I agree that either is equally likely.

I also hate profiles with spelling mistakes, I can't get past that either

Today I had my first 'willy picture', I now feel like really on line dater .

POF is a crazy place.

DadOnIce- Yes, you caught me out. I did watch it all the way to the end, my face was like this I just couldn't believe that someone I had known for such a short period of time would send that to me!! For all he knew I could have put it on YouTube.

I dabbled some years ago snd this guy started off nice but then repeatedly sent pics of his hideous cock.
One day he left me a voicemail asking if Id like a fuck so my very camp friend called him to say yes please.
I never heard from him again.
Go to the pub instead, at least you can drink even if you don't get lucky

"Today I had my first 'willy picture'"

Congratulations!

I had one guy who I teckon wanted to make a coat out of my skin. Most of his profile was about massage, moisturisers, how he wanted to pick his partners clothes and the need for mo tattoos or piercings- presumably they'd ruin the coat.

Then the one who said
Hi huny

• what's a huny?

Its a sexy lady like you.

Can't remember what I said but he replied

I suppose you think that's funny?

• should that not be funy?

He didn't reply.

This week it has mostly been americans admiring my smiles.
I am not smiling in my picture.
And I am not in America
And they all say read your profile we have lots in common but mention nothing that is actually in my profile