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Original poster

Divorce and house

126 replies

Workitbabe · 14/01/2015 14:20

Hi all. Bear with me, as this is long.

Stbxh and I in the process of divorce. He wants me to keep the house for the sake of our 2 children. Currently both our names are on the mortgage, but he is not paying anything - I pay half and my new partner pays half.

Understandably dh wants his name off the mortgage.

Not sure what to do. This is where it gets tricky. I don't think I earn enough to just have my name on the mortgage, and sadly my new partner is on a debt management pay back scheme (bloody ex partner never paid him back 40k after a failed business venture) and has a low credit rating, so will probably not be able to get a mortgage, even though he can well afford it.

So, any ideas what my options are??

My friend mentioned that when her friend was in the same boat, she had to get her Dad to act as a guarantor.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, as I am literally sick with worry.

Thanks

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/01/2015 14:34

When I was in a similar situation many years ago, like your friend, I remortgaged the house in my sole name and my mother stood as guarantor.

I think you should probably take legal and financial advice rather than guessing. Is there much equity in your home? Would you have to buy out your exH as well as taking over all the debt or is he proposing to defer his claim on the equity to a later date? That kind of thing has to be very carefully worked out.

What you may find is that it is better to sell up, take the equity, get a mortgage in your sole name that you can afford, or decide to rent somewhere of course. How long have you been with your new partner? Take your point about 'bloody ex partners' but he doesn't appear to be someone you want to be taking on joint liability with.

Original poster
Workitbabe · 14/01/2015 14:44

Thanks for responding. I am really not clued up on this, so when you say is there much equity in your home, what does that mean? I owe exh £10k only as he remortgaged the house to buy himself another property. He is not concerned too much about when that is paid back.

Been with new partner for a year; he moved in a month ago. I knew about his debt situ months and months ago.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/01/2015 14:50

The equity is the difference between what it a property is worth and the outstanding mortgage on that property. If a house is worth £150k and there is a £100k mortgage balance, the equity is £50k.

The second property is also yours, of course. It is a marital asset. You seem to be saying that he has already taken his share of the equity out of the family home in order to buy it. (Correct me if I'm wrong) How come you owe him £10k? Was this agreed as part of the financial settlement? Did you talk it through in mediation or with your solicitor?

getthefeckouttahere · 14/01/2015 15:08

What COG said.

You need to get your house valued by an estate agent (or 3) if possible.

Ask your lender for a redemption fee for the Mortgage. (how much you owe them)

Check online to see if your borrowing this amount is even remotely possible Nationwide and others have a simple to use calculator which will tell you how much they will be prepared to lend you.

Get yourself to a solicitor who will give you appropriate advice. The advice you get on here will be well meaning and most likely accurate for THAT poster, not for you and your situation.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/01/2015 15:11

PP would you say that both houses should be valued....? The family home and also this second property that the STBXH seems to have bought by remortgaging the first?

Original poster
Workitbabe · 14/01/2015 19:07

Thanks both. Ok, so I now know what the equity is. A starting point.

Re the 10k, yes, this has been calculated and agreed by both solicitors.

I see what you mean about stbxh's house - my partner seemed to think the same thing. Basically her remortgaged, which has sent the monthly mortgage payment up by £400 a month.

OP posts:
littleleftie · 14/01/2015 19:16

To be honest I think it may be tough on your XH. My XH wanted his name off the mortgage but I couldn't get that amount of mortgage on my earnings (although I can afford to make the repayments in full) so I got a mesher order. The house stays in my posession until eldest DC is 18 and then I sell, and the equity is split 70/30 in my favour. I will then be able to buy a much smaller property with the equity and possibly a v.small mortgage.

XH DM gave him a big lump sum so he could buy his own flat.

You really need to speak to your solictor to see what would work best for you. It depends on many factors, including average costs of buying/renting property relative to earnings in your area.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/01/2015 20:33

I also think you need to take this back to the solicitor, if only to understand properly what was going on when your STBXH remortgaged the family home. Was the new (higher?) mortgage organised before or after the split? How long ago was it arranged? It may be that there is no way for him to back out of it, even if you could afford to be the sole borrower.

Original poster
Workitbabe · 15/01/2015 08:19

Thanks again. Never heard of a mesher order; will google!

Speaking to the bank later so hopefully they can advise me of my options.

Its a bloody mess in my view.

OP posts:
Original poster
Workitbabe · 15/01/2015 09:07

I don't think stbxh will go for a mesher order. Just looked at it.

I think I am going to have to see if my Dad can be a guarantor. Hate the fact I have to do this. I feel like I have failed.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/01/2015 09:17

Try not to think of it as failure. When marriages end there are consequences, not least financial. All I would caution you against is making yourself financial reliant on another partner... especially where your home is concerned. Dads can (usually) be trusted and are with you for life. Partners, as you've found to your cost, come and go. Whilst I hope your new relationship is a keeper, learn from the experience, try to be self-sufficient and make sure everything is in your name with Dad as guarantor.

Original poster
Workitbabe · 15/01/2015 10:41

Thanks Cogito. As always, very helpful and wise advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Workitbabe · 20/01/2015 17:04

I just feel so stupid. Basically the mortgage was £178k before he remortgaged and is now £287k. I had no idea he had taken that much out.
How the hell does he think I can afford that FFS. The equity is £135k.

And he wants me to keep the house. How???? He is a twat.

OP posts:
BendyBusBuggy · 20/01/2015 17:35

The house is worth £422k, right? Your Loan to Value (LTV) is 68%, this determines how good a mortgage deal you can get (lower LTVs are better -- 68% is ok, less than 60% would be best)

You'd need an annual income of ~65k to support the £287k mortgage, and then find the money to repay the £13k to your StbXH.

Do you have children?

Kitsmummy · 20/01/2015 17:36

When did he take this extra £109,000 out? Before or after split? And what has he done with it because surely some of that money must belong to you?

It sounds like you're probably not v clued up on your financial situation and he may be pretending to be the good guy whilst actually totally screwing you over!

Kitsmummy · 20/01/2015 17:38

Sorry just read that he bought another house. Do you know how the marital assets have been split? It sounds around the 50:50 mark...not a good deal for you

BendyBusBuggy · 20/01/2015 17:42

Kitsmummy, only if there are children, otherwise 50/50 sounds fair?

Kitsmummy · 20/01/2015 18:03

She said in her first post that she has two children!

BendyBusBuggy · 20/01/2015 18:14

Oh crikey, I missed that!

Fleurchamp · 20/01/2015 18:15

Do you have a solicitor acting on your divorce? I would definitely go back to them as a quick look at your figures suggests that things are not quite what they seem.

Another point is to consider a cohabitation agreement with your new partner. Just in case things go wrong... (Sorry, I am the voice of doooom) you don't want to end up loosing the equity you do have in the property.

Fleurchamp · 20/01/2015 18:15

Losing. Flipping autocorrect.

Original poster
Workitbabe · 20/01/2015 21:25

Thanks all. Been trying to get hold of the solicitor I saw a few months ago; bloody called and emailed him and not heard back.

Yes, 2 girls, 7 and 11. They split their time between here and their dads, but this is considered the family home.

The house was valued at £425 about 6 months ago; may have altered slightly. Luckily, we are in a catchment for a fab secondary school, so prices fairly stable.

Between us, me and partner earn £80k. Just concerned that we will struggle to get a mortgage based on his credit rating :( So unfair. Fleur, not a bad idea. Hopefully I have found a keeper. He even scraped the ice off my car at 7 a.m.!

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 21/01/2015 00:09

You need to take some responsibility here! How have you only just found out how much your mortgage is?!!!
And to not have heard of a Mesher order suggests that you have done no research at all. I'm Hmm that your solicitor didn't cover this though, I can understand you might not have done any research if you were relying on a solicitor to guide you.
But it's a pretty big fuck up to not know what your own mortgage is!

Have you already got a Consent Order?
Are you aware that if it was very recent, then you might lead to it being over ruled by moving your partner in? (unless you ticked the box to say this was happening)

You need to stop looking at mortgages and go back to a good solicitor and find out what on earth is going on with your financial settlement.

CitySnicker · 21/01/2015 00:22

Like someone said above, why and when did he take this £100k out on the house?

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 21/01/2015 01:13

I'm no expert but I'll agree with PP who have said it sounds like you're getting utterly screwed over and you can't even see it...

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