Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Divorce and house

126 replies

Workitbabe · 14/01/2015 14:20

Hi all. Bear with me, as this is long.

Stbxh and I in the process of divorce. He wants me to keep the house for the sake of our 2 children. Currently both our names are on the mortgage, but he is not paying anything - I pay half and my new partner pays half.

Understandably dh wants his name off the mortgage.

Not sure what to do. This is where it gets tricky. I don't think I earn enough to just have my name on the mortgage, and sadly my new partner is on a debt management pay back scheme (bloody ex partner never paid him back 40k after a failed business venture) and has a low credit rating, so will probably not be able to get a mortgage, even though he can well afford it.

So, any ideas what my options are??

My friend mentioned that when her friend was in the same boat, she had to get her Dad to act as a guarantor.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, as I am literally sick with worry.

Thanks

OP posts:
pinkfrocks · 23/01/2015 19:57

Or you mean your DP's 'ex' not your ex???

Jackiebrambles · 23/01/2015 20:08

I don't think the two men are connected are they?

tipsytrifle · 23/01/2015 20:16

Actually think i misread the OP and misinterpreted the scenario ... sorry!

New dp may have nothing to do with xh; new dp has his own xp from another business.

Cabrinha · 24/01/2015 11:53

Why don't you text him and say "I'm looking into taking over the mortgage, but I'm a bit confused now as to who the mortgage is with, and how much for - I don't know what you did - please confirm."

If the mortgage went from £178 to £292, he has had £114K put into his bank account.

Do you know whether he could have bought his new place outright for that? I doubt on a £70K salary he's been approved for another standard mortgage atop a £292 one. But he could have got a Buy to Let mortgage for a second property using that deposit.

I have to say, again, WTF is your solicitor doing getting to the point of agreeing you owe him £10K, when you didn't even know what the mortgage on your house was?
Unless they have asked all the right questions and you've given the wrong answers, I am very Shock that you've got to this point.

You either ask him what the fuck is going on, or you get your solicitor to write to his, to say the same.

In fact, presumably if your solicitor says you owe him £10K, some level of financial disclosure has been done? Property valuation? Recent mortgage statement? What stage are you at with that?

pinkfrocks · 24/01/2015 14:44

Do you have access to a joint bank account? Your monthly outgoings re. a mortgage will have been on there all along.

I'm not sure about this BUT if he has been allowed to borrow more money on the basis of your jointly-owned home and the equity in it, surely you'd have had to sign something? Because you are not yet divorced then any loans are surely both your responsibility not just his?

Original poster
Workitbabe · 25/01/2015 08:52

Thanks all. Have found an email from a company that stbx used re the transfer of mortgage/remortgage but the figures do not match up with the figures on the consent order. Am going to phone IF to get more info today. Will also phone said company to see if they have any info.
Just to make its clear dp is owed money by HIS ex not stbxh. Confusing. Feel a bit more aware now. Looking forward to the solicitors visit! Also the details of the money I receive each month for the dd's is in the consent order sk am hoping I can use that towards mortgage application.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 25/01/2015 10:01

So you're included on the emails then? It wasn't done without your knowledge?
Are you sure he didn't stick paperwork in front of you to sign that you didn't realise what it was for?

Original poster
Workitbabe · 25/01/2015 10:57

It was just one email yes. Still do not recall signing anything. I know I have been naive and did not ask enough questions. Just glad I have the opportunity to look at stuff due to the judge questioning something.

OP posts:
Original poster
Workitbabe · 28/01/2015 07:16

Solicitor visit this afternoon! Also viewing 2 properties and hoping to see a mortgage advisor. Makes sense to move to a cheaper place. Dd1 is in the school we wanted as we are in catchment so dd2 should get in irrespective of where we live. Will be 100k or more less! Sick of all earnings being tied to mortgage so unable to afford much else. Whilst stbxh is always taking girls away and buying stuff for them. Makes me feel shit. Will report back later.

OP posts:
rootypig · 28/01/2015 08:15

Good. Hope you've got all the paperwork - anything that could give a clue as to what's going on. Everything from your last solicitor. Who probably needs to be done by the Law Society.

Original poster
Workitbabe · 28/01/2015 12:01

Paperwork ready. Also seeing an ifa re mortgage. Busy afternoon lolol. And pricy..But needs must.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 28/01/2015 15:44

Hope it went well!

You might get hit with a redemption charge on your mortgage (penalty for paying it off too early). If so, make sure that's included in your calculations of settlement! Mine is about £2K for the first two years.

I totally agree about not tying yourself to an expensive house. I could have stayed in my old house (though think XH would have argued he wanted to as well) but I love being in a smaller house now. The mortgage payment is the same, but all my bills are loads less than they were!

rootypig · 29/01/2015 07:40

Hey Workit, how'd you get on?

Original poster
Workitbabe · 29/01/2015 18:57

Hiya

it went ok. Saw the ifa first and he doesn't think we are a lost cause so he is going to dig about and see what is what and what our options are on obtaining a mortgage.
Then saw the lawyer. She thinks the 50/50 split is harsh, but also feels ex is being quite generous re maintenance. We talked about the money I owe him (the rest of his share of the equity) and she thinks it is too high - should be more like 3k as they have not thought about sale costs.
So, going to see about mortgage first and assuming we can get something, use it as a negotiation point - ie yes you can come off the mortgage but you will not be getting any more money.

So, we shall see!

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 29/01/2015 19:07

Well if she thinks it is harsh, why are you not fighting it?

And did she discuss with you that maintenance can be varied after a year? And that even if he owes it, it can be bloody hard to enforce if he stops paying? Both good reasons for getting lots of equity.

What happened about your mortgage? Still not sure if it's a fraudulent application or not?

Gfplux · 29/01/2015 19:34

Good to see you getting some proffesional advise.
Good luck

Original poster
Workitbabe · 29/01/2015 19:43

She did not mention that about maintenance no. Its in the consent order as 400 per child per month.
Re the remortgage I still need to contact the company that arranged the remortgage to get my hands on paperwork. Will do that tomorrow.

OP posts:
makemineapinot · 29/01/2015 19:59

Wow! Just read your thread - if you are in Northants I can recommend a solicitor who fought big time for me after my xh tried to do the dirty. He also forged my signature on mortgage and loan forms and it went against him big time in court. I got 92:8 % split plus half his pension due to all the shenanigans and the fact that the substantial
Deposit on Fmh came from
My previous house, I had been higher wage earner till kids came along etc etc - loads of other reasons inc his attempts to defraud me. Do u still get a free consultation period with a solicitor? If so, go round a few till you find one who you feel will fight for you. Then go with them. Good luck x

Cabrinha · 29/01/2015 22:19

pinot I just feel like high fiving you!!

My XH forged some documents, but trying to steal (only!) £3K, so I left it at pointing out that there "appeared to be an error on the form from the bank" (error being blatant photocopied tipped mark and a mismatched font!). How I would have loved a judge to put him in his place! Well done you!

OP, I found out about maintenance / CO when I got divorced last year. Apparently it's only enforceable for a year. Other terms of the CO are permanent I think, but he can apply to vary maintenance after a year.

Original poster
Workitbabe · 30/01/2015 20:29

Evening all. Wow Pinot, that's amazing! Def need to get on the case.

Not happy re ex being able to change the maintenance payments; surely they can only change if the split of childcare changes no?

Heard from the ifa today. Looks like me and dp will be able to get a mortgage together!!! So pleased. The solicitor has recommended a pre-nup type agreement if we do go ahead and buy a house as the equity is all from my place. We will have to move though as cannot get enough to cover current mortgage. Be interested to hear what ex h says about that!! He was keen for me to stay there as stability for dd's but too bad.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 30/01/2015 22:39

I know I keep turning up as the cynical voice of doom here, but I'm very Hmm that one minute your boyfriend is on a DMP with a shot credit rating, next he's OK for a mortgage.

You haven't been with him long - don't get tied up financially with someone who isn't totally open and honest about their finances with you.

When your marriage went tits up, you had protection for your children's home because you shared it with their father.

What happens if this relationship ends? When you have kids and you're on your own, I say do your absolute utmost to go it alone on the house. You have equity in your current house, an "income" in maintenance that is higher than many people earn, and a boyfriend who can contribute to bills. Why risk tying your finances together?

I don't mean about pre-nup type situations. You don't need a pre-nup? You're not married. You need a deed which sets out who owns what %. I mean if you spilt, and he says "I want my money out and off the mortgage" (like your husband has) and you're forced into moving somewhere cheaper, maybe away from schools...

You have a great opportunity to go it alone on a house - I'd do that.

CitySnicker · 30/01/2015 23:18

And what about this 109k your ex took out on your current house then bought his own? Is he getting to keep that then?

Gfplux · 31/01/2015 08:28

Your ex ,au want you to stay in your home as moving might expose a forged signature on the large mortgage he took out.

Gfplux · 31/01/2015 08:29

,au = may

Original poster
Workitbabe · 31/01/2015 09:35

Cab point taken but I trust dp completely. He came with me to the ifa and absolutely no stone is unturned. He has been upfront from the start.
Good point re exh not wanting to be exposed. This is going to be interesting!

OP posts: