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Original poster

Divorce and house

126 replies

Workitbabe · 14/01/2015 14:20

Hi all. Bear with me, as this is long.

Stbxh and I in the process of divorce. He wants me to keep the house for the sake of our 2 children. Currently both our names are on the mortgage, but he is not paying anything - I pay half and my new partner pays half.

Understandably dh wants his name off the mortgage.

Not sure what to do. This is where it gets tricky. I don't think I earn enough to just have my name on the mortgage, and sadly my new partner is on a debt management pay back scheme (bloody ex partner never paid him back 40k after a failed business venture) and has a low credit rating, so will probably not be able to get a mortgage, even though he can well afford it.

So, any ideas what my options are??

My friend mentioned that when her friend was in the same boat, she had to get her Dad to act as a guarantor.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, as I am literally sick with worry.

Thanks

OP posts:
hereandtherex · 22/01/2015 16:52

OK,

Why was the house re-valued 6 months ago?
Who initiated the valuation and for what purpose?

When did you buy the house? Did you put a deposit down?
What was the original mortgage?

Cabrinha · 22/01/2015 18:07

DMPs are for when you can't service your debt. They're great, and can really help with freezing interest. But Stepchange go through your income with you, and necessary expenditure. You don't get to keep loads and freeze interest too.

£70K salary is £4K take home per month.

Unless he's got a whacking great big mortgage, £3250 a month sounds like a lot, and I'm surprised his creditors are happy with it.

I'm still a bit suspicious that he's entered into a DMP over a £40K debt.

Original poster
Workitbabe · 22/01/2015 19:21

I may need to dig more on his finances. He pays child maintenance for his 15yr old and he has a company car so a big tax burden I guess.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 22/01/2015 19:41

Well, you can make an educated guess.
If his car is brand new with a £30K list price, and over a 2 litre engine, the tax he would pay is about £3800 pounds a years. About £320 a month. Less for a smaller / cheaper car. And then you need to remember that he's not paying tax or MOT/servicing costs. So a saving there.

Sorry, I know I'm rather picking him apart. Just you didn't answer on him contributing, and I have a suspicious mind and wonder whether he doesn't pay much rent because he has debts to pay.

Take the £320 car tax off and say £600 child maintenance. I'm still surprised he can't pay off his debt without a DMP.

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 22/01/2015 19:54

Cabrinha:

'Cabrinha, DP pays half of the mortgage, and I pay the other half. He also pays half of all the bills. So, not a free ride.'

Original poster
Workitbabe · 22/01/2015 19:57

He pays me 1400 per month for rent bills and food.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 22/01/2015 20:01

Sorry, missed that!
I'll back off about him Smile he's probably lovely! Hope he's a keeper Smile
Please excuse that I'm the cynical type. I will admit that I guessed you might be a bit vulnerable financially, with your knowledge of things re your XH.
Sorry if I was intrusive!

Original poster
Workitbabe · 22/01/2015 21:45

Not at all Cabrinha, you are looking out for me!
I hope dp is a keeper; I know he is.
Just need to get all the facts and info and get this sorted out. So stressed :(

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 22/01/2015 22:05

Stress is why we pay solicitors!
Do you have any local friends who can recommend one to you?

Take a deep breath, then let the professionals help you find an agreement that you're happy with!

The good news is that it sounds like you haven't finalised things yet.

My top tips: Wink

  • just forget you ever heard the term gold digger. It's not relevant. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone but yourself. More than 50% is not inherently unfair. (I speak as someone who proposed less than 50, but it's not a crime to take more)
  • don't rush anything - it's OK to think an idea over for a couple of weeks
Original poster
Workitbabe · 22/01/2015 22:48

Thankyou. A friend has recommended someone and I will be seeing her next Wednesday. I really do appreciate all the comments and guidance. Much appreciated. I just need to understand this whole mortgage fiasco and see where I stand.

OP posts:
zipzap · 22/01/2015 23:01

I would also make sure that you work out exactly how much you and your stbxh would have had each, what your mortgage repayments would be etc etc if your stbxh hadn't taken out the extra mortgage on your property. And how it might have worked with regard selling the house or him getting his equity...

Then you'll be in a better place to compare exactly how much better or worse off you are in both situations so you can make sure that you're not being swizzled right under your nose - including things like having to pay back more on the mortgage because you have to pay an early redemption fee and then pay set up costs and a higher rate on the new mortgage and so on...

It might also be worth getting credit reports on you, your stbxh and your dp from experian and/or the other ones (names escape me at the moment!) and seeing if anything interesting comes up on them about the extra mortgage payments or the debt manangement payback scheme etc... Not sure if you can get them on other people but think you can maybe see if there are people connected to you that are affecting your rating?

Original poster
Workitbabe · 23/01/2015 09:06

Thanks ZipZap. Going to have a good look in to everything after work today - dd's at their dads after school so plenty of time to focus on it.

I am so grateful to everyone. I know I have ballsed up by being financially unaware, but it just worked that stbx managed all that and I did everything else lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
Workitbabe · 23/01/2015 16:59

Well, I am not getting far. All I have found out is that the mortgage with NatWest was set up on the 23rd April 2014 at £292,000. So, does that mean he would have taken out the £100+k from the old mortgage with Intelligent Finance and then started afresh with NatWest? I am so confused. Cannot find any paperwork from IF either - it used to be in the filing cabinet here.

OP posts:
lalalonglegs · 23/01/2015 17:11

It sounds as if he remortgaged the marital home to give himself a large deposit and then got a mortgage to cover the rest from NatWest to buy his new place. If I have understood correctly, you are effectively paying for him to live in his new home as he took £100k of equity from the property in which you live and you are now paying the mortgage to cover this extra borrowing. Hmm

hereandtherex · 23/01/2015 17:17

Is IF a key thing. AFAIK IF are one of the very few banks that offer offset loans.

Who's name(s) is on that 292K mortgage?
What house is it for?
Did you know about it?

pinkfrocks · 23/01/2015 17:22

I think you need to be very careful tying up your finances with your new partner. It's not wise or sensible to bank ( ha ha) on a new man supporting you if you were able to stay in your current home. You only earn £10K. This is not enough to get any mortgage or even live on without payments from your ex -H ( when he is.)

I don't think your ex has 'taken money out of the first mortgage' as you put it- it sounds as if he has used the equity in your jointly owned home as a deposit on the new place and topped it up, though how he can do that unless he is a high earner is a mystery. He'd be covering a mortgage for your own home, his new home and giving you £800 a month for the children. How much does he earn? But that equity wasn't his- it is at least 50% yours.

If the only way you can afford to stay in your home is with the income from your new DP then I think that's a tricky start. if you split up, it will all go tits up again.

My advice- given your low earnings- would be to sell the house, and have a fair division of assets in your divorce, and then you buy a smaller house in your name only until your DP has got rid of his debt and your relationship is older than a year.

lalalonglegs · 23/01/2015 18:19

But pink, he's not paying anything towards the mortgage on the marital home. That's why his taking £100k of equity and then letting OP stay there for the sake of the children is decidedly Hmm.

Pannacotta · 23/01/2015 18:24

It does sound as if the OP is funding her ex's new property, which cant be right!
And how can you owe him money OP? That sounds even more wrong.
You need legal and financial advise asap, please be careful.

zipzap · 23/01/2015 18:48

Sounds like it would be worth ringing IF when your stbxh is not around to see if they can shed any light on the matter - you could just say that you're in the process of getting divorced and you can't find your mortgage papers so just want to get a handle on the figures to start with, rather than go into anything more...

Bit worrying if all the papers are missing; might be worth copying everything that would normally be in your joint names and just his so that you have a copy of everything even if you don't think it is relevant at the moment, just in case it is. Although it sounds like it might be a bit late already Sad

Who are you paying mortgage payments to at the moment - IF or NatWest or both? Can you see from your bank statements when things (amount and/or bank) changed?

Make sure that you remember to include something in your calculations about paying for his extra amount (if you/dp are effectively paying off the big mortgage payment for the remortgage he took out) - that's 9 months of bigger payments if you've paid them that he has managed to not pay for which soon mounts up if you're paying a few hundred a month on your mortgage - turns into a few thousand in that time, why should you be subsidising him!

tipsytrifle · 23/01/2015 19:27

I apologise if I'm out of order, but I can't shake the feeling that there is quite a tangle of relationships going on here that is fuelling the financial fog.

Current DP is owed so much money by XH that he is on a debt plan. Money has been acquired by XH somehow via mortage that OP has not signed for. I just don't get any of this, admittedly, but despite the seemingly generous child care spousal contribution by XH and the input by new DP ... it just seems like such a muddle.

Workitbabe - I think I'm ready to scream right alongside!

Lndnmummy · 23/01/2015 19:38

I work in finance. It is impossible for a remortgage in joint names to have occured without your signature. I cant have happend. He may have remortgaged in his sole name or he has forged your signature. No lender would agree to a remortgage without dual signatures.

Lndnmummy · 23/01/2015 19:39

Something weird here OP, even if he took out a sole mortgage you would need to have signed an occupiers consent form.

AHatAHatMyKingdomForAHat · 23/01/2015 19:47

An Experian report will tell you a lot about all the debts (yours, STBXH's, DPs). It is not expensive. It is quick. You can do it online.

I am glad you are seeing a solicitor.

I don't think it matters at all who has what mortgage. You and he are still married. Both properties are part of the marital assets. Who pays the mortgage doesn't matter.

Why isn't your DP taking your STBXH to court over the debt? 40k is a lot of money.

pinkfrocks · 23/01/2015 19:55

lalalonglegs He is paying for the DCs- see this post here...

Workitbabe Wed 21-Jan-15 16:10:18
Solicitor booked for next Wednesday. stbxh getting concerned I think as I emailed his solicitor and told her to hang fire.
I know I am naïve re the mortgage - I should have been more astute, but I am where I am.
The children live with me half the week, so 50/50 split.

Its the income bit that winds me up most. We agreed that I would work part time to be the main carer when dd1 was born c 12 years ago. His job involved a lot of work away (Europe), and he earned much more than me, so was a no brainer. He has seen his career leap forward and he is on 4.5k a month plus bonuses. I am on £10k per annum!!!

He pays £800 per month for our dd's, and until dp moved in was paying all the mortgage.

pinkfrocks · 23/01/2015 19:57

So your ex-H and your new DP were business partners? You have now had DP move in and DH move out? Yet DP owes your STBEXH £40K? This is all most odd.