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Original poster

DS new girlfriend

88 replies

Honeyforever · 04/11/2014 12:27

3 weeks ago, DS girlfriend dumped him, they are both almost 17 and have been 'together' since they were 14, they had just started different colleges and I suppose drifted apart
He was upset for all of 3 days Hmm and has now announced he has a new girlfriend!
Thing is, he has known this new girl for years, we all know the family as they are part of the sports club DH and DS belong to, and I can't say I'm too pleased. I posted about her mother about 5 name changes ago (!) saying how she constantly flirts with my DH and sends him texts telling him how wonderful he is Hmm
I'm afraid I might of expressed my opinion a bit too loudly when DS told me his news and he is now sulking,
What do I do? Embrace the new girl and hope it fizzles out? I just want DS to be happy but that woman makes my teeth itch Confused

OP posts:
springydaffs · 04/11/2014 12:30

If he's 17 then maybe he's old enough to learn about his new girlfriend's mother?

CheersMedea · 04/11/2014 12:31

He's 17!!!

No relationships survive university - or 0.0001% of them do.

Don't worry about it. Won't last.

FrauHelga · 04/11/2014 12:31

The new girlfriend is not her mother.

Original poster
Honeyforever · 04/11/2014 12:45

cheersmedea me and DH have been together since we were 16, were nearly 50 Shock

springydaffs DS knows about the mother, he has said that he thinks she's a slag, albeit before he got together with the girl

frau I know she not her mother, but her mother is going to be very involved in this relationship.

OP posts:
Mammanat222 · 04/11/2014 13:03

Why does she have your DH's number and why doesn't your DH tell her to back off / behave more appropriately?

pompodd · 04/11/2014 13:07

Not really your business, is it, if he's 17?

And your DS called this woman a slag? Right...

FrauHelga · 04/11/2014 13:08

Does your DS tell your DH he thinks he's a slag too? Because she got your DH number from somewhere, and quite obviously he didn't tell her clearly to back off.

FrauHelga · 04/11/2014 13:09

Does your DS tell your DH he thinks he's a slag too? Because she got your DH number from somewhere, and quite obviously he didn't tell her clearly to back off.

Only1scoop · 04/11/2014 13:11

Your ds calls her mother a 'slag'

How nice

Joysmum · 04/11/2014 13:14

Lovely son you've got there calling women slags. Hmm

At 17 it's about you stepped back and let him get on with living his own life and just be there to pick up the pieces.

CheersMedea · 04/11/2014 13:14

cheersmedea me and DH have been together since we were 16, were nearly 50

So what? That is totally irrelevant to your question.

That was 40 years ago! Times have changed. It's really uncommon now. Life expectancy is longer, people marry later, choose life partners later, have children later.

The very high likelihood is that this won't be his life partner. Not least because he's probably rebounding. He is 17 years old! In the modern world, that is a child really.

squitchey · 04/11/2014 13:14

It's rather cod psychology, but it reads very much like you're projecting the situation with your DH / this woman onto the one with your son and the new girlfriend. You want this woman to get the message and stay away from your DH, and for your DH to be unavailable to her, so it's rather a kick in the teeth that another version of her has 'got' to your son?

It's not fair to take out your dislike of this woman on either her daughter or your son.

CheersMedea · 04/11/2014 13:16

DS knows about the mother, he has said that he thinks she's a slag

OMG Shock A seventeen year old boy talking about his gf's mother like that? or any woman for that matter?

Raised to respect women and respect his elders then?

How lovely.

TheHermitCrab · 04/11/2014 13:17

This all seems a bit immature.

You and your son calling a woman you don't like a slag, who's texting your husband.... she didn't get your husband's number from thin air.

He's dating the daughter, not the mother, even if this relationship lasted forever, it's irrelevant, not all couple's parents get on...

Just leave him to it.

WallBox · 04/11/2014 13:18

Perhaps he's hoping for a younger version of the slag. Gross.

Original poster
Honeyforever · 04/11/2014 13:19

She has both mine and DH numbers as she is chairperson of the club (she's never txt me tho)
DH has previously done things to help out at the club,hence the 'you are wonderful etc etc texts

DS didn't call her a slag to her face, he said to us a while back that she was a slag as she kept texting his dad and he could see it upset me.

DH steers clear of her but she always makes a beeline for him and he's too polite to tell her to back off. If I'm there she tends to act in the same manner. My presence doesn't stop her

I'm sure the daughter is a lovely girl and I will welcome her in our home, but I can do without the mother trying to get even more involved.

OP posts:
FrauHelga · 04/11/2014 13:19

I bet you called the mother a slag, right Honey? And he sat and agreed with you.

Only1scoop · 04/11/2014 13:23

Not to he face....that's ok then Hmm

Original poster
Honeyforever · 04/11/2014 13:25

I've never called her a slag, I've kept my opinion to myself, Im not some fishwife calling everyone names!

Poor DH went through it when she first sent the texts, I used to blame him but then learnt that it's all her, he only ever replied with a polite, curteous txt

I now ignore it and don't grill him about texts, I trust him

I shall let DS get on with it and hope he's happy, that's all I want for him

OP posts:
pompodd · 04/11/2014 13:25

Blimey, OP. It wasn't that your DS might have called this woman a slag to her face that people were surprised by. It was the fact that he used the word at all (and you seemingly aren't bothered about him doing so).

FrauHelga · 04/11/2014 13:26

I'm quite bloody sure you haven't kept your opinion to yourself Grin because you said "I might have expressed my opinion a bit too loudly"

TheHermitCrab · 04/11/2014 13:28

Why would it upset you some local "slag" texting your husband (and have a previous thread about it) if your husband wasn't responding?.

Your husband is too polite to tell her to back off so you and your son call her a slag?

I'm lost here.. Surely if you trust your husband just leave her to being a flirty creep... there's a lot of them about - male and female.

As for your sons girlfriend... it's just tough, she is who she is, I'm sure it's all too poisoned now by petty immaturity over the mother for it to last...

AnyFawker · 04/11/2014 13:28

This is all rather involved isn't it ?

Take my advice, honey. Don't get involved in your (late) teenager's relationships and look to your own husband to assist you in safeguarding your own.

Original poster
Honeyforever · 04/11/2014 13:28

Have you not heard teenage boys talking? I'm sure I don't live in a bubble and every other teenager is a complete innocent angel

Some of the things I hear from some boys makes my toes curl, believe me, saying someone is a slag is very tame,

OP posts:
GothicRainbow · 04/11/2014 13:29

I think your DH needs to stop being quite so polite to the girls mother if he thinks she is crossing boundaries, that way there will be no mixed messages.

As for the daughter and your son - I've been on the receiving end of dislike from my now DH's mother and it has caused me and my DH a lot of sadness over the years.

I got together with DH when I was 17 and was told to my face by her that I was a slapper (lovely Hmm) and that I would break her sons heart, well we survived university and got married 3 years ago and have been together for nearly 13 years now.

I would start as you mean to go on with the daughter as you never know whether it will last or not! My MIL was very sour faced at the wedding and it shows on all the photos!