DS new girlfriend

[Honeyforever]

3 weeks ago, DS girlfriend dumped him, they are both almost 17 and have been 'together' since they were 14, they had just started different colleges and I suppose drifted apart
He was upset for all of 3 days and has now announced he has a new girlfriend!
Thing is, he has known this new girl for years, we all know the family as they are part of the sports club DH and DS belong to, and I can't say I'm too pleased. I posted about her mother about 5 name changes ago (!) saying how she constantly flirts with my DH and sends him texts telling him how wonderful he is
I'm afraid I might of expressed my opinion a bit too loudly when DS told me his news and he is now sulking,
What do I do? Embrace the new girl and hope it fizzles out? I just want DS to be happy but that woman makes my teeth itch

[Pooka]

If she behaves the same when you're there, is it not possible that she is simply friendly rather than predatory?

It may be that she simply likes your dh more? Perhaps he isn't giving off an aura of negativity or antipathy?

Condoning your ds calling any woman a slag doesn't paint you in a particularly good light. It sounds like your dh maybe is a bit more approachable?

[AnyFawker]

If I overheard my teenage son calling anyone a "slag" he isn't too old to get a clip around the lughole.

[TheHermitCrab]

OP - you seem to be defending the fact that your son calls a woman a slag....

"Some of the things I hear from some boys makes my toes curl, believe me, saying someone is a slag is very tame,"

And yet despite this, you don't think your son should be ashamed for calling a woman such things. It's OK for men to be studs but women are "slappers, slags, tramps...etc" just for flirty behavior.

It's all about respect. Whether his mates say worse is irrelevant.

[Honeyforever]

frau when I expressed my opinion, it was that I thought the girl was too young for him and she lives along way from us and he had only just finished with the "love of his life"
I can honestly say I didn't mention his mother, although DS knows I am annoyed by her behaviour.

[Only1scoop]

'Poor Dh went through it'

Sounds like your whole family did....

Why has your son called this woman a 'slag'

Sounds very intense....

[pompodd]

To go back to your initial question - what, other than behave decently to the new girlfriend and be welcoming to her, do you think you could possibly do?? Disown your DS? Be unpleasant to this girl and refuse to allow her into your home?

Slightly struggling with the question here!

[Fixerupperz]

Just leave out of it, they won't be together forever.
And how involved do you think the girls mum will be?

[Honeyforever]

I have 'clipped him round the ear" for calling her, or anyone a slag, but he was upset as he knew I was upset.

I'm sure the mother likes DH more than me, she sees him every week, whereas me not so often. She is polite to me but will gush over DH every word. We just laugh about it now.

DH isn't atall happy about DS new girlfriend and said (to me) that he doesn't want that family in our home
It was me that said we have to allow DS to make his own choices and embrace her,

As I said, I am sure she's a lovely girl and I shall welcome her, I'm just saying that I'd rather she was a complete stranger and not related to her mother

[TheHermitCrab]

I'm still lost as to what the question is?

He's seeing who he's seeing, you can control it if you want but it won't help or work.

Leave things be, he's a teen.

[Honeyforever]

The mother is already involved fixer she has asked DS to help her DD with a charity day instead of playing football, and has told DS that he needs to take her to the cinema to see a certain film

only1 he called the woman a slag as he could see how she was behaving around his dad and he felt it was wrong and knew it upset me.

[Only1scoop]

I don't really get the question either?

'Embrace her'? Makes you sound very intense....he's 17 just go with the flow....

[Only1scoop]

Honey....I'd really just let them get on with it....

[FrauHelga]

Jesus you are waaaaay too involved in your 17 year old's love life.

[Angelface5]

Christ !!!
Was just reading a post that someone went on net mums and how bad it was on there. Then started reading this post and sorry to say but how bitchy you all really are.
This women did not post to get ripped apart for saying someone acts like a tart. Or to get asked about her own relationship with her husband. Or get told to just let her 17 year old to get on with it.
I take it that whoever told her to stay out of sons life basically and let him get on with it has not got teenage children or if you then it's clear you don't look out for your own then.


Op just look after your son and like me you will be there to pick up the pieces if needed.
Sometimes we can all be polite and give wrong impressions to people.
You don't have to do things together with your ds girlfriends family.

[andsmile]

ffs teens say this and worse. after teaching them for many years I think some parents really do live in a misguided bubble - what happens decent ones realise it is not nice/cool and stop using such words.

DS using this word is not an issue IMO but how a parent responds to correct them is.

Anyway the thread is about OP not liking the involvement with this family becuase of this womens behaviour towards DH - I w ouldnt be happy about this either - awkward all round. OP it wont last it is clearly a rebound relationship and he is is at college - there will be lots of other girls that will turn his head. So you can put away those thoughts of awkward wedding stuff right now

I feel sorry for the girlfriend.

[TheHermitCrab]

Angelface - well at least you understood the question, if there was one... she just needed someone to state the bleeding obvious it would seem....

The OP seems to have her fair share of bitchy behavior towards this other woman (as does her son) so it's not exactly innocent is it.

[Honeyforever]

angleface Thankyou! At last someone with something nice to say, I really appreciate your thoughts

I will be there to pick up the pieces as always, and I will indeed let him get on with his life. I'm certainly not going to make their lives a misery, I just wanted to share my feelings, but instead got attacked somewhat

Thanks everyone, I've taken it all on board!
I'm still not going to abandon you all for nethuns

[andsmile]

Only1scoop how is that intense - do you understand what it means in that context it just means welcome her - should the OP not do this?

[Honeyforever]

Thanks andsmile

[andsmile]

Thats the spirit honey just grit your teeth til then and I couldn't help think what nightmare that family might be at xmas time - hope its all off by then.

[Only1scoop]

I do understand the context perfectly thank you so much.

I wasn't imagining Op physically 'embracing' her to her bosom to welcome her into mammas kitchen....

Just think the situation itself sounds a little intense....

[andsmile]

well its hardly intense

[Only1scoop]

'Dh isn't happy at all and doesn't want that family in our home'

Ds has called her a 'slag'

Some very involved emotions going on in a new friendship.

Just my opinion.

[andsmile]

didnt pick that up

agree to differ

[Only1scoop]

Op's own post at 13.41