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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Relationships

DS new girlfriend

88 replies

Honeyforever · 04/11/2014 12:27

3 weeks ago, DS girlfriend dumped him, they are both almost 17 and have been 'together' since they were 14, they had just started different colleges and I suppose drifted apart
He was upset for all of 3 days and has now announced he has a new girlfriend!
Thing is, he has known this new girl for years, we all know the family as they are part of the sports club DH and DS belong to, and I can't say I'm too pleased. I posted about her mother about 5 name changes ago (!) saying how she constantly flirts with my DH and sends him texts telling him how wonderful he is
I'm afraid I might of expressed my opinion a bit too loudly when DS told me his news and he is now sulking,
What do I do? Embrace the new girl and hope it fizzles out? I just want DS to be happy but that woman makes my teeth itch

OP posts:

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FrauHelga · 06/11/2014 12:48

He's tacitly inviting further replies with that text. It's like a toddler tantrum for attention - he's saying something "bad" (Don't buy a hat) and she will respond.

What would have been wrong with "Don't text me any more unless it's club related. Your attentions are unwelcome" or even just "Don't text me anymore. Contact xxx re club issues in future."

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Vivacia · 06/11/2014 13:31

It was a rude and unkind reply. I don't know why the OP would celebrate it or think that others would find it amusing.

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Honeyforever · 06/11/2014 14:11

We can't win can we?! She did reply to his txt saying something about how it's nice to be young free and single like our DC. He hasn't replied, he said he's not going to engage with her anymore if she does txt again, and I'm going to the club with him at the weekend so will see her then,

Thankyouandsmile you seem to be the only one who 'gets' me

OP posts:

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FrauHelga · 06/11/2014 14:13

She gave him his answer right there and he chose not to take it.

"No thanks I'm happily married."

Why do you think he didn't do that?

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Honeyforever · 06/11/2014 14:16

frauBecause she knows damn well we are happily married! She has seen us together 100's of times!!
You seem to be implying that DH fancies her and is encouraging her, I'm sorry to disappoint but that's not the case

OP posts:

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Vivacia · 06/11/2014 14:19

He's not discouraging her.

We can't win can we?!

I can see how you might feel like that, but you just need to be kind. No more "sluts" or "she won't be around for long"s.

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FrauHelga · 06/11/2014 14:21

You have enough of a problem with it that your DS called this woman a slag.

And yes, when the perfect answer is handed to your husband on a plate, he didn't use it.

I can't help but wonder why not.

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mynewpassion · 06/11/2014 14:23

Leave the gf out of it. He's being petty about her.

He could've just said: Nice on the relationship and please contact me only about club related things.

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FluffyMcnuffy · 06/11/2014 14:34

I find it funny that when the OPs husband gets an open opportunity to tell the woman straight that he's not interested, it's then he chooses to ignore her .

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FluffyMcnuffy · 06/11/2014 14:35

And yes you can win OP, just stop being so blasé about your husband and son speaking about/to women like something on the bottom of their shoe.

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IsabellaPong · 06/11/2014 16:39

Well, if the DH is as nice about and to women as the DS, I think we can guess why...

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ApocalypseThen · 06/11/2014 18:08

Maybe your family need to keep to yourselves. You seem to share a common contempt for women and a really weird attitude towards this family, in particular.

Little as you like it, your husband is revelling in the attention and encouraging it. You should be speaking to your son about his attitude to women. Oddly, I feel that you're enjoying all this. After all, your shared contempt for the woman is good for bonding, isn't it?

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CheersMedea · 12/11/2014 13:05

going on past events she won't be around for long, don't buy a wedding hat yet

The language "she won't be around for long" is very interesting. It speaks of a power dynamic where the man is in charge and it for him to dispose of a woman at his whim. She is disposable.

It's not very hard to see where your son gets his charming "slag" attitude to women from.

Fair enough to make clear that he won't be seeing more of the new gfs mother as he doesn't go on dates with his son and to politely draw a line under it, but this second part is unnecessary and unpleasant.