DS new girlfriend

[Honeyforever]

3 weeks ago, DS girlfriend dumped him, they are both almost 17 and have been 'together' since they were 14, they had just started different colleges and I suppose drifted apart
He was upset for all of 3 days and has now announced he has a new girlfriend!
Thing is, he has known this new girl for years, we all know the family as they are part of the sports club DH and DS belong to, and I can't say I'm too pleased. I posted about her mother about 5 name changes ago (!) saying how she constantly flirts with my DH and sends him texts telling him how wonderful he is
I'm afraid I might of expressed my opinion a bit too loudly when DS told me his news and he is now sulking,
What do I do? Embrace the new girl and hope it fizzles out? I just want DS to be happy but that woman makes my teeth itch

[CheersMedea]

going on past events she won't be around for long, don't buy a wedding hat yet

The language "she won't be around for long" is very interesting. It speaks of a power dynamic where the man is in charge and it for him to dispose of a woman at his whim. She is disposable.

It's not very hard to see where your son gets his charming "slag" attitude to women from.

Fair enough to make clear that he won't be seeing more of the new gfs mother as he doesn't go on dates with his son and to politely draw a line under it, but this second part is unnecessary and unpleasant.

[ApocalypseThen]

Maybe your family need to keep to yourselves. You seem to share a common contempt for women and a really weird attitude towards this family, in particular.

Little as you like it, your husband is revelling in the attention and encouraging it. You should be speaking to your son about his attitude to women. Oddly, I feel that you're enjoying all this. After all, your shared contempt for the woman is good for bonding, isn't it?

[IsabellaPong]

Well, if the DH is as nice about and to women as the DS, I think we can guess why...

[FluffyMcnuffy]

And yes you can win OP, just stop being so blasé about your husband and son speaking about/to women like something on the bottom of their shoe.

[FluffyMcnuffy]

I find it funny that when the OPs husband gets an open opportunity to tell the woman straight that he's not interested, it's then he chooses to ignore her .

[mynewpassion]

Leave the gf out of it. He's being petty about her.

He could've just said: Nice on the relationship and please contact me only about club related things.

[FrauHelga]

You have enough of a problem with it that your DS called this woman a slag.

And yes, when the perfect answer is handed to your husband on a plate, he didn't use it.

I can't help but wonder why not.

[Vivacia]

He's not discouraging her.

We can't win can we?!

I can see how you might feel like that, but you just need to be kind. No more "sluts" or "she won't be around for long"s.

[Honeyforever]

frauBecause she knows damn well we are happily married! She has seen us together 100's of times!!
You seem to be implying that DH fancies her and is encouraging her, I'm sorry to disappoint but that's not the case

[FrauHelga]

She gave him his answer right there and he chose not to take it.

"No thanks I'm happily married."

Why do you think he didn't do that?

[Honeyforever]

We can't win can we?! She did reply to his txt saying something about how it's nice to be young free and single like our DC. He hasn't replied, he said he's not going to engage with her anymore if she does txt again, and I'm going to the club with him at the weekend so will see her then,

Thankyouandsmile you seem to be the only one who 'gets' me

[Vivacia]

It was a rude and unkind reply. I don't know why the OP would celebrate it or think that others would find it amusing.

[FrauHelga]

He's tacitly inviting further replies with that text. It's like a toddler tantrum for attention - he's saying something "bad" (Don't buy a hat) and she will respond.

What would have been wrong with "Don't text me any more unless it's club related. Your attentions are unwelcome" or even just "Don't text me anymore. Contact xxx re club issues in future."

[FluffyMcnuffy]

I think the DH's text back was a polite rebuttal.

It wasn't though was it? It wasn't a refusal to engage with her or a "please don't text me again"

He hasn't told her to stop contacting him, so it does to me seem like he's enjoying the attention. When someone like that texts me, I either ignore them or say "look I'm in a happy relationship so stop it", OPs DH hasn't done that.

[Vivacia]

He txt back don't hold your breath, I don't usually go on dates with DS and going on past events she won't be around for long, don't buy a wedding hat yet

Wow. What did you say when he told you he'd sent that?!

[andsmile]

fluffy how does that seem OP's DH is enjoying attention?

I disagree - silly women, why is she texting him only this and not OP? OP is right ot be concerned that it gives this women another excuse to contact her DH. I dont see anything wrong with OP being concerned about her marriage. I think the DH's text back was a polite rebuttal.

[FluffyMcnuffy]

going on past events she won't be around for long lovely! And you seem pleased by this response?

Why couldn't your DH have a) ignored the text b) said "I don't usually go on dates with DS" c) said "look, I'm happily married and I don't think you're being appropriate so I'd appreciate it if you didn't keep sending me unsolicited texts".

Seems to me your DH is rather enjoying the attention!

[Honeyforever]

Thought you might like an update
DH got a txt last night from girlfriends mother
isnt it great that our DC have got together?! Maybe we will be seeing a lot more of each other soon
He txt back don't hold your breath, I don't usually go on dates with DS and going on past events she won't be around for long, don't buy a wedding hat yet

[Vivacia]

I remember the ice cream story.

Perhaps one day one of my sons will call a woman a slag, but I hope the day never comes that I excuse such misogynistic nonsense from them.

[Honeyforever]

that definitely wasn't me! no dog and don't live near a canal

[LosingTheWillToSkate]

Must have. But there was someone not too long ago who was also around 50 who had issues with a woman they knew from a sporting club their DH and DS were a member of with said woman gushing about how wonderful the DH was and funnily enough didn't change behaviour when that poster was around either. I'm sure that OP posted that their DH had been walking the dog along the canal and bumped into the woman who walked her bike along out of her way talking to him before they got ice creams and sat on a bench where the DH filmed her giving ice cream to the dog before marvelling over how funny it was when he got back home.

Unless I've dreamt it all!

[Honeyforever]

losingthewill I've no idea what you are talking about I'm afraid! I don't,and have never had a dog.
I think you must be confusing me with another poster!

[LosingTheWillToSkate]

Is this the woman who fed the ice cream to your dog and your DH videod it? If so then it really does seem like you're projecting your issues with your DH enjoying this woman's company onto her daughter!

[Selinasupreme]

Can't believe how petty this thread has gotten! I can see why you would be upset but the slag bit is a bit strong, welcome the daughter and embrace anyone who is positive in your sons life and if this means you have to deal with the mother, once she gets the message that the kids are happy she might be easier to get along with?

As for you cheersmedea my parents have been together since they were 16, not only that but I met my husband when I was 17, I am now 23, we have a son and I'm pregnant with our next child and we got married 3 weeks ago, its not that uncommon love!

[AnyFawker]

I take it that whoever told her to stay out of sons life basically and let him get on with it has not got teenage children or if you then it's clear you don't look out for your own then.

How offensive. I have two teenage kids and one of them is in a relationship with someone I wouldn't have chosen for her myself. But he isn't a serial killer, he is a similar age and mindset to her and she is old enough to make her own mind up so I stay out of it.