Oh God. I just went for my exH mistress...

[spook]

Why oh why am I such a dick??? Just bumped into my exh and the horrible bitch he left me for. He is 48, she is 26. It's the first time since it happened-2 and a half years ago, that I have ever seen her-or them together and I just couldn't deal with the fucking smug look on her face.
But my boys were there and some friends and I just lost it. Calling her a whore and saying I'd like to land her one
I am so ashamed of myself and feel sick and dirty and really really stupid. I am better than that and have lowered myself to their sordid level.
I know noone will tell me its OK. Just needed to offload.

Or just ask her how many millions her last album sold...

Yes another slap makes sense IMO
Call it a science experiment, to see if natural redness creeps up under that cosmetic perma glow.

Message withdrawn

Probably wouldn't feel good though Rickman. She's markedly taller than me and being the chavtango that she is would undoubtedly hit me back much harder.
Don't worry Freckle. I promise I won't

Might go and smear dog shit under her car door handles though.

Actually, Spook, what about sending her a particularly gorgeous photo of your new man with a little note saying "Thanks for taking Grandad off my hands - look what I got instead..." That'll make her go green (although not sure how that will react with the Tango Tan... Won't be pretty...)

Just order a pile of chippings (or worse ) to be dumped outside their placee !!!

pmsl at taking grandad off my hands yeahbut!

Ooh-the possibilities are endless mummydear.
Revenge is definately a dish served cold.

Think of it this way, Spook. In 20 years time it will be your xh PHSL and she'll be the one changing his incontinence pants whilst you and your younger model are off on a beach somewhere. We reap what we sow...

PMSL Spook 'chavtango' brilliant, so descriptiveYou are on fire tonight.

As your ex will be 50 in two years time and entitled to SAGA holidays , get some brochures sent through to him. She may have second thoughts !!

Maybe thats why he had so much aftershave on, to cover up the smell of piss yeahbut.

Saga holidays !!!!

at having to read this MASSIVELY important snippet about you on Mumsnet matey!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry babe. Thought you were stiil holed up on the farm. Call you tomorrow with full update.

Got back this afternoon. My F**king phone is driving me mad, had 15 messages in outbox that never sent so that is why I have fallen off the earth

Will speak to you tomorrow for a proper catch up? Farm was fab, think we need to go back up en masse, it was a fab location.

Ohhhh loving citrus skip rat, ohhhhh beauty!

Hi all.
Just wanted to thank you all again for lifting my spirits yesterday.
After a sleepless night I realise that what I did was the right thing to do. I sincerely hope CSR had a sleepless night too

Well, as the immortal Rhett Butler once said, 'Only hypocrites become offended when called by their rightful names.'

I wouldn't lose any sleep over that.

After all, she's a homewrecking cow.

I thought it was Head mistress too!!

I am sure we can all understand why you did it and while it may not have been the best plan morally, it probably was the best emtionally for you to let off steam.

You are better than them and just forget it now. Definitely don't beat yourself up about it.

Are the children okay?

They're fine thanks NAB3. Just explained how hurt I was feeling and how sorry i was that they had seen me behave so badly
They are very grown up about the whole thing TBH.

HaHa! I'm with pooka, Cod and piffle!

yes, me, queen of the 'let it ride over you' advice - but she IS an orange twat, and she deserved something to shake her up a bit, and he deserved a fright and a bit of public humliation. yes, they wilmake a big act of 'oh she is unhinged' but somewhere a chill shiver will let them know you are right.

But I disagree with Cod on one count - the Crocs will have mad an impression on her - Crocs are the badge of classy style girls - unlike spiky heels and white stilletos - whatever the staid old fogeys on here think!

Hah!

Don't beat yourself up about it!

Oh spook, thank you for pointing this thread out to me - citrus skip rat

Sitting here PMSL, will have to show DH this thread too.

'Ask how many millions her album sold' - wonderful!

Good for you girl, wish I had the bottle to do things like that sometimes. Of course they will say you're unhinged, they'll have to won't they? No one likes to be called a whore in public even if it's true, so they'll have to say you're the one who's nuts, but they'll know the truth hehehe.

I keep thinking about Corrie when Sally slapped Denise Welch in the street in front of everyone. The adulterous smug bitch had it coming

'Ask how many millions...'
ooooh, yes!