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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I think my whole world fell apart .... Again

124 replies

Justnotimaginitive · 03/08/2014 20:48

So all the classics really, distancing, finding fault, his life is shit, he wants more from life but still wants to be with me etc etc

Anyway he had plans to go out last night with some people from work and stay at 'Paul's' house as was easier, I said to him on thurs about asking his parents to have the kids and I'll go with him, he looked Shock and put me off 'partners not going ' that sort of thing. Made me slightly suspicious but didn't say anything.

I just checked his phone and he has an email saying his has a message from a girl from work on FB, it is literally just a pic of a character holding a great big heart with lots of love hearts surrounding it, this is what I think it is isn't it ?? There was nothing else on the phone no messages can't get on to his FB but it's bloody obvious. It said it was part of a conversation.

I'm just putting DD2 to bed and he is putting DS to bed but I think this is the end I am so gutted SadSad

OP posts:
Original poster
Justnotimaginitive · 03/08/2014 21:04

Anyone ??Sad

OP posts:
overslept · 03/08/2014 21:11

Ohhhh, I hope you are feeling alright. No advice right now but thought you needed a reply asap. hugs

FreeSpirit89 · 03/08/2014 21:17

Woman don't send messages like that unless there is something going on op.

Sorry, but I think LTB.

Hand holding too

gamerchick · 03/08/2014 21:21

I can't even think of any rational reason why he would be getting that in a conversation OP.. I would be gutted :(

If it's Innocent he won't mind showing you his inbox would he?

hashtagwhatever · 03/08/2014 21:24

Could be innocent. I think best bet is too ask him

cheapskatemum · 03/08/2014 21:27

Your thread title says "again", OP. Has this kind of thing happened before? (((hugs)))

ChangelingToday · 03/08/2014 21:39

Is there any way you can get into his fb? Are you married? Big hug for you!

Original poster
Justnotimaginitive · 03/08/2014 21:45

He's left, wouldn't show me the messages sent by her said they just get on that's all.
Said he's not been happy for ages I don't want to so anything etc etc.

I'm in pieces feel sick SadSadSadSad can't stop crying.

OP posts:
HumblePieMonster · 03/08/2014 21:56

gentle hugs.

Finola1step · 03/08/2014 21:58

Hugs from me too.

Waltermittythesequel · 03/08/2014 22:00

Again?

So he has form?

You know you deserve so very much better, don't you?

Vivacia · 03/08/2014 22:03

What do you mean "he's left"?

Lweji · 03/08/2014 22:06

He's left as in left you? :(

Hugs from here, but it may be for the best. You don't want someone who is lying to you and has one foot out the door, while you're driven mad trying to figure out what's Wong.

juliascurr · 03/08/2014 22:09

oh, what an arse :(

we've all been there; it's horrible, but it does get better. Make sure you get legal advice if needed, then make sure you eat nutritious food and have a little treat every day

xx
one day at a time

IndiansInTheLobby · 03/08/2014 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Justnotimaginitive · 03/08/2014 22:23

Yes he has form. I forgave more fool me.

I have my sister and BF here with me at the moment can't think straight HmmHmm

OP posts:
Egghead68 · 03/08/2014 22:27

Your whole world HASN'T fallen apart.

Just get through one day at a time. Be kind to yourself and gather lots of support around you if you can.

Don't take him back this time.

CoffeeTea103 · 03/08/2014 22:31

Op a big hug.

Frogisatwat · 03/08/2014 22:54

No your world hasn't fallen apart. .. its upside down and like a messed up jigsaw you can't figure out how to put back together. But it will right. You will put the pieces together. Has he left as in 'left' you?

Waltermittythesequel · 03/08/2014 23:05

Your world hasn't fallen apart, even if it feels like right now it has.

Him leaving is the absolute best thing he could have done.

Please, please find the strength to realise you don't need this utter, utter arsehole taking up space in your life.

Original poster
Justnotimaginitive · 03/08/2014 23:09

Well he basically said he didn't want to be with me anymore.
It's always my fault that he isn't happy, because I won't do this or that. He wants more and wants to do more things but I hold him back.

I know I am better off, I know deep down I deserve better but I can't think I feel sick and my head hurts, I know I won't sleep and I have DD 4 and DS2 to look after what do I tel them ?

OP posts:
Frogisatwat · 03/08/2014 23:19

You don't tell them anything tomorrow. . Or the next day. Just get your head together. For now he is in work. ..

Original poster
Justnotimaginitive · 03/08/2014 23:33

Well he basically said he didn't want to be with me anymore.
It's always my fault that he isn't happy, because I won't do this or that. He wants more and wants to do more things but I hold him back.

I know I am better off, I know deep down I deserve better but I can't think I feel sick and my head hurts, I know I won't sleep and I have DD 4 and DS2 to look after what do I tel them ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Justnotimaginitive · 03/08/2014 23:39

Sorry didn't mean to double post.

My sister and friend have gone, I'm
In for a long night, how can he do this to me he was meant to love me but clearly he doesn't, every 6 months to a yr he would have a meltdown that his life is shit isn't good enough and I would do everything in my power to make him feel better it was always about him.

Quite how he thinks his life will be different, how he is going to be able to go climb mountains and travel the world when he has 2 children to look after when he has contact I don't know.
I actually hate him right now Angry

OP posts:
Lweji · 03/08/2014 23:45

Think about you and your children.
You don't want to chase this man. That's his game, you keep bending backwards to please him.
I bet he expects you to contact him and beg him to go back. Do yourself a favour and don't.
Move on with your life as best as you can.

As for the children, dad is away and he will come back.

He can explain it to them. It's amazing how these twats simply walk out on their children and expect someone else to look after them.
He is basically selfish and he doesn't deserve any of you.

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