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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Dating Thread 73.

999 replies

MadeMan · 19/04/2014 12:09

Hello and welcome.

OP posts:
4free · 20/04/2014 10:42

hi all :) do u mind if i join u daters? been following your stories with interest...it really is a jungle out there isnt it?....i never thought i was shallow until i started OD..well i still dont think i am tbh..its just the calibre of men im attracting on pof is just well..Hmm...i have chatted to some nice men, but im just not attracted to them at all..and the one i did like and wanted to date turned out to be a sex pest, im trying to not give up hope and to soldier on, but it really is hard work!!

dont please dont feel ashamed, its just one of lifes many experiences...and i honestly feel your far too good for geeky.

jesy · 20/04/2014 10:46

Don't

I can sympathize with you we all do stupid things mine a couple weeks ago is prime example untill 2011 I'd never even kissed a bloke so last week when I threw myself at my ex I was mortified but these things happen.
He was nice enough to Reject me tho.

louby44 · 20/04/2014 10:53

4free welcome - this is a great board but moves very fast.

I've seen someone twice now (off POF) and he's no looker at all but I liked his initial message and both times now I've enjoyed his company. So maybe if you click with someone through messaging/talking on the phone just give it a try.

dontcallmehon22 · 20/04/2014 10:57

Hi 4free and welcome to the thread.

I guess you're all right but I do feel like contacting geeky to express how I feel.

4free · 20/04/2014 10:58

thanks louby and yes it does!

i think its more of a spark thing, even tho iv chatted to a couple of guys theres been no spark, no one i feel i could connect with, i know its not all about looks, im looking for someone to make me laugh, make me feel like their genuinely interested in me n not just getting into my knickers Hmm

Hormonalhell · 20/04/2014 11:34

I agree 4free and two years later I've finally found it Smile

SuperFlyHigh · 20/04/2014 12:32

Jarlin - the older man 47 (can't remember the name) when I looked more closely at his profile I just went... no thanks... not in a rude way!

I'm almost tempted to do a Hormonal and shove my age down a few years but I'm only on Match Crapfinity for now and they'd see. I may properly set up POF though.

I was out all day yesterday Portobello Road and Food Market, got a few cute looks on Overground (had had hair done....!) I think I may read the Matthew Hussey book re approaching/being more approachable in real life.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/04/2014 12:33

OLD for me on Crapfinity especially is hard as I think a lot of men DO just see an age and go straight past it, and that age is 40! or they want sex, ONS etc.

By the way dont - not a bad thing at all re ONS...

and re geeky and wanting to get back with him, I don't think that's a good idea but I was madly over past few days thinking of contacting Kent Lad, just to ya know, torture myself a bit more! eeek!

Canihaveaslice · 20/04/2014 12:50

I'm on tinder but find you get lots of matches but no one chats to you on there. However the men are much better looking than the OLD sites.

On pof in 2 weeks I've now received 100 messages but only 3 of them would I consider. I think I am quite shallow really and looks matter to me.

Louby, glad date 2 went well for you. Ive fumbled my way through a snog on my 2nd date. God knows what I do on date 3! Think I'll just stick to a proper snog and try not to just throw myself at him this time. I was so nervous.
I don't know what to do for date 3. We've had a drink, done food. What do we do next?

Can't remember who's on match but I had a look at it before pof and thought the men on there weren't much better than pof and so not worth the cost. I have reduced the age of men I want to contact me and also they must gave pics on pof to reduce the number of old men I get

louby44 · 20/04/2014 13:05

Cani I find date 3 the tricky date. Your sort of comfortable with them, know there's a spark and any prolonged kissing (especially if alcohol has been consumed) can lead to other things.

I bravely had the conversation with MrTall last night and told him he could stay here on Saturday night but he would have to sleep in the spare room. He said he won't stay, admitted he fancies me like mad but respects me and doesn't want to put any pressure on me! He's out of an 11 yr relationship and mine was 6 years so it's gonna be different...when it happens.

I just have no willpower and haven't had sex in 6 months!!

Cinema for date 3?

DollyTwat · 20/04/2014 13:19

Louby you're so right with your 3rd date analogy!
When I get some childcare sorted for date no 3 it's going to be very hard not to get too carried away

I have had any sex for about 3 years so I'm between being a bit scared and very excited.

Is dtd on a third date a bad idea?

muchtooshy · 20/04/2014 13:26

Can I join in here?

Have been seeing a man I met OLD for a couple of months now. Falling for him but scared of being that vulnerable. I don't really know what a relationship is supposed to be like!

Original poster
MadeMan · 20/04/2014 13:47

Would this be the older man in his 40's tooshy that you mentioned in the "Is it true most men..." thread?

OP posts:
Original poster
MadeMan · 20/04/2014 13:50

"We've had a drink, done food. What do we do next?"

Ice skating.

OP posts:
Jarlin · 20/04/2014 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

muchtooshy · 20/04/2014 13:53

mademan Yes - am not dating more than one at once! Grin

Original poster
MadeMan · 20/04/2014 14:19

You said in the other thread tooshy that you "find him attractive and he is kind and interesting" so that sounds good at the moment.

OP posts:
muchtooshy · 20/04/2014 14:21

That is all true mademan but I do worry that my lack of relationship experience will trip me up. He is considerate and kind and we get along well - he is just out of my league!

Original poster
MadeMan · 20/04/2014 14:28

Surely he can't be out of your league if he's actually dating you. Smile Two months is still pretty early days so try not to get too carried away thinking about the future, but if you enjoy being together at the moment then just carry on as you are and see how it goes.

OP posts:
muchtooshy · 20/04/2014 14:35

I think it is my own issues rather than anything he has said or done. He texts when he says he will, rings me because he wants to chat, and talks about the future. My worry is that he wasn't looking to date someone younger than him and that he hasn't dated anyone who wasn't around his age.

dontcallmehon22 · 20/04/2014 15:23

Meeting geeky lookalike two weeks on Friday. If we like each other we will meet up again for sex. This is all new to me. I wouldn't normally. But he looks exactly like geeky, same height, same glasses, similar features. Only slightly better looking.

dontcallmehon22 · 20/04/2014 15:23

Oh and jarlin, I met him in a bar last night. I'm slightly ashamed of myself...

jesy · 20/04/2014 15:36

Dolly

I had sex with Mr IT on our third date, wasn't planned in fact a few days before I had said I wasn't totally ready for sex .
But we did , not his idea all mine we ate watch tv kissing ext and I suggested we went upstairs.
For the first time in three partners I didn't regret it, must admit with my first I did to point I sat crying in bathroom as I felt so cheap but with Mr IT nope .
We went into town after n he offered to walk me to my lift but j declined it first time inventor regretted first time sex

If it's what you want then go for it

Life to short for regrets x

louby44 · 20/04/2014 15:53

jesy that is so true!

I could actually meet mrtall tomorrow for a quick drink as i'm staying at my brothers house so have a ready made babysitter...but am I coming across as too keen if I suggest it?

DollyTwat · 20/04/2014 15:53

Thanks Jesy I'll see how I feel, he's nice, good looking and very shaggable. It's all a bit scary at the moment the thought of being that intimate with someone after so long

My feet are also like hobbit feet, so need to sort those out before anyone sees them!