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Relationships
SoftKittyWarmKitty ·
20/04/2014 00:32
You can download Matthew Hussey's book for free if you google, that's what I did. I'm now going on his seminar in June 
. If nothing else it'll be a fun day out!
White To me that means he's keeping his options open. He probably has Sweet Trolley Syndrome. I'd be wary.
I love the Baggage Reclaim site and imo she's absolutely right about texting being a lazy and unemotional form of communication. MCS never phoned me, only messaged, and I know now that it's because he wanted to keep an emotional distance between us, to keep me at arm's length. It worked 
.
whitedoorbell ·
20/04/2014 07:35
softkitty to be honest that was what I thought too. part of me wants to tell him to stick it now and move on...
is a bit of a come down and reality check cos I was buzzing over the whole thing.
don't know what to do? any advice? will definitely try very hard to back off and let him do the running
dontcallmehon22 ·
20/04/2014 07:46
I think so. He was lovely. Gone now but left his number. Feel a bit of a tart. Sat in bed eating ice lolly. Don't care about anyone but geeky
whitedoorbell ·
20/04/2014 08:40
dippin tell me about it. at least baldy is who he says he is... he seems to be emotionally stunted... or maybe that's nust men for you!
there seem to be 2 types. .. players and emotional retards
louby44 ·
20/04/2014 10:14
Morning everyone! Happy Easter!
don't if you enjoyed it then just go with it! If it made you feel worse then don't do it again. When I split with my exH I went through a tart phase.
dipping yes, agree with flora - if he seems nice go for it, some men are very young at heart
flora it's good to take a break for a while sometimes
I was whatsapping Mr Tall till 2.30am!!! He has size 14 feet!! OMG
The texting got a bit cheeky but in a good way. Date 3 is normally my stumbling block but I'm trying to hold off. Need to get the snogging sorted lol 
SoftKittyWarmKitty ·
20/04/2014 10:16
Dont There is nothing wrong with a ONS, if indeed that's what it is (you might see him again 
). You're not a tart, you're a grown woman in charge of your own sexuality. It's there to be enjoyed, not to feel guilty, dirty or sordid about.
And do not ever go back to Geeky. He was a bell end who embarrassed you on the Eurostar, an abusive wanker who didn't even deny he was an emotionally abusive fuckwit, and a manipulative bastard who tried to keep you as a fuck buddy once you'd broken up. He treated you appallingly. You deserve much, much better. Hang on in there - the pain will lessen, as will your feelings for him.
White What I'd do now (and what Matthew Hussey recommends) is to agree to keep it casual, still go on the dates with other guys and (this bit is the key, according to MH) let Baldy know that you're dating other men. If he asks why, just say really like him but you're looking for a partner in life and until you've mutually agreed to be exclusive with someone, you're going to keep dating. The reasoning behind this is simple, according to MH. If you say 'Be with me, or I'm leaving' chances are he'll withdraw because men (and women I guess!) don't like to be given ultimatums. If you say 'Yeah ok, let's keep it casual, I'm fine with it' he'll think you're happy with this and won't make any effort to progress the relationship. So you say 'I like spending time with you and still want to see you but agree let's keep things light for now - I'm going stay on the dating sites and am open to going on dates with other men. Let's see how it goes.'.
At the minute you're on the back foot because you've told him by text and in a phone call that you don't want to date anyone else as you're seeing how it goes with him. So now he knows he's got you hooked and he doesn't need to make as much effort to keep you, in fact you've effectively told him you're going to be sticking other him even though he's openly said he'll be dating other women. It's up to you how you play it from here but if it were me, I'd be sending him a text saying I'd had a rethink and the 'I like spending time with you...but am staying on dating sites and open to dates' message. It's completely up to you though - you know him (and yourself) best. At the minute you're putting all your eggs in one basket (Easter pun!) while he's got a variety of baskets for his eggs - and there's alway the risk he could pick another basket. Keep your options open.
I honestly wish I'd read Matthew Hussey before I started seeing MCS - I'd have played things very, very differently.
Dippin Did you call him on it? I would have - lying about your age is crazy because it'll come out eventually. Go on the dates with the other two though - just a quick coffee date will suffice to see if you like them enough to meet up again.
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