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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How do you know when......

134 replies

DuhDuhDuh · 19/12/2013 19:08

Your marriage is over??

I really don't know how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking.

I have been with dh since I was 19 - so 16 years and I just can't bear the thought if being with him and life being just this for the next 40 years Sad. It's not that he's done anything - he hasn't I just can't decide what I feel for him. I've tried talking to dh - he can't understand why I'm so miserable - he loves me to bits and apparently I have 2 Dc who adore me.

But we don't do anything. We never go anywhere, I have friends but dh doesn't and it doesn't bother him. We have no spontaneity or fun and our sex life is about exciting as a funeral. I never look forward to seeing him. I took the dc to a competition (Friday - v late Sunday) and didn't miss him at all

I don't know if this is the end............like I said he's not mean or nasty, just really boring and I don't feel wanted, adored, attractive or anything with him........

Any advice on how I can sort myself and my feelings out would be appreciated

OP posts:
MillyChristmas · 21/12/2013 21:51

Again, sorry if my computer is playing games with me but im just trying to make sense of it. Confused

MillyChristmas · 21/12/2013 21:51

OOOOOO so its not just me???

Strangetownblues · 21/12/2013 21:53

No. Not just you.

But I hadn't even spotted the hoverer. I can see it just like you though. I'd just come from the other thread funnily enough and the similarity in posting styles seemed very, very familiar.

Strangetownblues · 21/12/2013 22:00

Looks like Mumsnet are about to delete the 'stupid' thread...

NollaigShona2013 · 21/12/2013 22:02

Well if she namechanged to avoid putting too many details under the one screen name you've UNhelpfully joined the dots.

No way is this made up! It's way too mundane....
.

Strangetownblues · 21/12/2013 22:08

It doesn't have to be made up, no-one's saying that.

But if she's been having affairs with 2 other blokes it puts a different slant on the advice offered.

OP wouldn't be the first person who'd started demonising her partner and complaining about faults that were ALWAYS there, after getting involved elsewhere.

NollaigShona2013 · 21/12/2013 22:13

But i didnt think she demonised him.
She seems to focus on the incompatibility. The disconnection is almost palpable.

Anyway....

[Wine]

MillyChristmas · 21/12/2013 22:16

Read the other threads Nollaig if your allowed to. God, hope im not doing anything wrong here. As Strange said, it just changes the whole dynamics of this thread.

Strangetownblues · 21/12/2013 22:24

If my husband said I was boring, that he didn't fancy me, miss me and that all I had to offer sexually was 'groundhog day' sex, I'd feel I was being demonised.

Disconnections happen when someone's having one affair, never mind two. Whether the disconnect happened before that is anyone's guess. On OP's 'sexting thread' from November she says her DH is 'lovely' and her marriage is 'good, DH is vvv caring' Confused

A lot can happen in the head after climbing into another man's bed.

MillyChristmas · 21/12/2013 22:28

Something doesn't add up here? Where is OP to clarify this unusual turn of events cause im very confused.

varigatedivy · 21/12/2013 22:38

so why has the 'stupid, stupid, stupid' thread been deleted?
It ran to loads of posts.

MillyChristmas · 21/12/2013 22:40

I don't know, was that the one about her having the affair with the married man whose wife had found out and he had to stop contact? That's all I read.

MillyChristmas · 21/12/2013 22:41

or was it the one about the sextext thread?

varigatedivy · 21/12/2013 22:42

It was about the married man whose wife found out and the poster couldn't stop contacting him and mooning about it all.
It was posted by Blushingm....

but has been deleted it seems.

Blushingm has been posting for years mainly about lack of sex and a poor marriage.

Strangetownblues · 21/12/2013 22:44

Sextext thread hasn't been deleted. Only the other current thread about the MM. Assume MNHQ know something we don't, so probably best to let this one die and join Nollaig on the vino.

varigatedivy · 21/12/2013 22:45

DuhDuhDuh has posted on other threads tonight so she is around.

MillyChristmas · 21/12/2013 22:57

But DuhDuh is Blushingm?

bubblesmonkey · 21/12/2013 23:26

I could have written your exact post about 2.5 years ago. I was bored rigid and had tried very hard to turn my marriage from a couple of bored friends living together back into something work keeping. It's a bit of a long story, but I ended up finding a very good reason to leave.
Ex H and I are both so much happier now in separate relationships. We were teenagers when we got together and it had gone beyond stale.
Talk to him, try to revive the marriage, but tell him in no uncertain way how ready you are to leave. Ex H never really believed I would leave him, and that was part of the trouble.
Best of luck.

IsleOfRight · 21/12/2013 23:39

What? Can you see other names by hovering over a name - so name changing pointless?

Btw I think this thread should be taken at face value - I think all thread should be, because it's not just the poster they help but people reading the thread or people searching for the topic in the future. So in a way whether the op is telling the truth or not is irrelevant.

NollaigShona2013 · 21/12/2013 23:42

Is namechanging pointless :-o ??
I likw to think i am protecting my anonymity by namechanging regularly

MillyChristmas · 22/12/2013 00:03

Isle OP had not been back since queries.about her other threads under different name. One of her threads has been deleated. Its hard with the internet that you never really know anything about whom you are talking to. In this case I feel that this thread is possibly not all it seems.

Original poster
DuhDuhDuh · 22/12/2013 00:24

I am here - just been watching a film with dh

OP posts:
MillyChristmas · 22/12/2013 00:59

Dah don't want to seem rude but you seem to have other threads on the go as mentioned earlier under your other name.

Original poster
DuhDuhDuh · 22/12/2013 01:11

Pardon?

OP posts:
varigatedivy · 22/12/2013 08:36

what we are saying is that when you click on your name it also shows the username Blushingm.

There are no other posts on MN by Blushingm except the one about 'stupid'- where a woman had an affair /sex just for 'fun'- and whoever posted it presumably asked for it to be deleted last night.