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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband has just left. Doesn't love me any more. I am destroyed.

252 replies

UterusUterusGhali · 16/03/2013 20:16

He hasn't loved me for a while.
Haven't had sex for ages. He doesn't fancy me. Sees me more as a sister.

I want to curl up and die. Im just bereft. I don't know how I can carry on.

OP posts:
ScillyCow · 16/03/2013 20:17
Sad

Sorry to hear that, Uterus.

Original poster
UterusUterusGhali · 16/03/2013 20:18

I can't stop crying & being sick.

OP posts:
SPBInDisguise · 16/03/2013 20:18

So sorry uterus. Did this cone out of the blue?

NinaHeart · 16/03/2013 20:19

I'm so sorry to hear this UUG. No advice, just hold on in there and in time your world will right itself.
Internet weirdy hugs in the meantime.

Lucyellensmum95 · 16/03/2013 20:19

So very sorry - can you get someone to be with you?

This is the worst, the very worst - you will get through this

Sunnywithshowers · 16/03/2013 20:20

I'm sorry lovely. Thanks

Original poster
UterusUterusGhali · 16/03/2013 20:21

I don't feel I can face anyone.
I'm just so so upset. Our poor kids.
What's wrong with me?

OP posts:
Original poster
UterusUterusGhali · 16/03/2013 20:22

Things have been rubbish for a while.
I had PND and was an arse to him.
I wish he'd give it time.

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie · 16/03/2013 20:23

Oh no, how devastating.
Do you have any children? Or anyone who can come and just sit with you and make you endless cups of tea?

Very sorry, as above, this is the worst feeling ever and you are at rock bottom, therefore you can only go up and will slowly but surely start to feel better, teeny bit by teeny bit.

Get someone round to look after you. (((Hug)))

Cailinsalach · 16/03/2013 20:25

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. In time, all will be well and all manner of things will be well. Until then you have to go through shit. Be kind to yourself. Very kind. It will get better. In time.

kalidanger · 16/03/2013 20:25

The people who live you will want to know and support you UUG. Please call a friend for a hug Thanks

CheckpointCharlie · 16/03/2013 20:25

Oh sorry x post.

How old are your children? Do they know yet?

PND is a bastard, I have been there and it is a grim thing to struggle through.

ScottyDoc · 16/03/2013 20:25

Nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong with you my sweetheart. It's carnage and that's all I can say because I've seen it happen first hand. It happens to people, for whatever reason, valid or not, that they make the decision to leave their dh or dw. You can sit and torture yourself with what ifs but its happened now and nothing is your fault. Dh 's feelings are not your fault.

We are all here for you and we are listening. Holding your hand and wiping your tears xxx

kalidanger · 16/03/2013 20:25

Love you, I mean x

Original poster
UterusUterusGhali · 16/03/2013 20:25

We have 3 children. Only the two youngest are his, but he's been Dds daddy since she was two.

I can't believe this is happening.

I keep having panic attacks. It feels like I'm dying.

OP posts:
Roseflowers · 16/03/2013 20:27

I can imagine how devastated you feel. Just been left by someone I totally adored. I just don't know what to do with myself, it feels absolutely fucking awful. We'll get through it, we have to. There's no other option. I know that this bit right now feels so awful, trust me I do, we will get throught this though I promise xx

Original poster
UterusUterusGhali · 16/03/2013 20:29

He's taken the children to his mothers. I've been crying since this morning and it was beginning to scare them.

OP posts:
Original poster
UterusUterusGhali · 16/03/2013 20:31

I just want to stop crying, Rose.
I am exhausted but can't sleep.

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie · 16/03/2013 20:32

Ok I promise you won't die. Take deep breaths and try to calm down. scotty is totally right, it isn't your fault and he has made the decision based on his feelings.
Without knowing him I can't comment on what will happen now but I do know that you can take some control back.

Where do you live? Can someone come and give you a hug? Will pm you.x

ScottyDoc · 16/03/2013 20:32

Uterus and Rose, will you believe those of us who are telling you it will get better, that it WILL get better? I wish it was possible to fast forward all the sick shakiness and severe anxiety to a time when you realise this was the best thing that ever happened to you. Tonight will be hard and you need to let everything out and keep talking. Some days will be good, others may be harder, but I promise you that it will get easier.

WeAreSix · 16/03/2013 20:35

I couldn't read and not reply...

Panic attacks are vile. Slow, deep breaths. Keep posting.

Hassled · 16/03/2013 20:40

I'm so sorry.
You asked what was wrong with you - nothing. There's probably nothing you did or didn't do; please don't torture yourself with "if only I'd said/done that". People fall out of love with each other and it's painful beyond belief, but it just happens. If you can just get through this awful day, tomorrow won't seem quite as awful, and the day after will be that much more copeable with until eventually you realise you are coping.

Roseflowers · 16/03/2013 20:40

I know sweetheart, so do I! It will stop, I promise you. I've been in this place before, I thought I was going to die because I couldn't possibly imagine living with so much pain but I did pull through before, I will again and so will yo, I promise. I know it hurts so much right now, unfortunately all you can do is survive it. In a few days things will start to get better, and the few days after that will be better than that, and the days after that...its such small steps but as awful as you feel right now, those steps will start to happen. You may feel sad and lost now but you will feel better, one little bit at a time. Just know there are loads of people here, me included, who are thinking of you right now xx

musickeepsmesane · 16/03/2013 20:40

I'm sorry Uterus Flowers. Get someone over to be with you Flowers

Original poster
UterusUterusGhali · 16/03/2013 20:46

I can't reply to PMs on my phone it seems, but thank you.

I don't want this. It can't be happening. Why won't he give it time?

OP posts: