Husband has just left. Doesn't love me any more. I am destroyed.

[UterusUterusGhali]

He hasn't loved me for a while.
Haven't had sex for ages. He doesn't fancy me. Sees me more as a sister.

I want to curl up and die. Im just bereft. I don't know how I can carry on.

How could he ever have been a 'good 'un' if he thought he was the 'man of the house' who deserved special treatment because he had a penis?

None of this has anything to do with your youngest's sleep habits, or your PND. Stop diverting the blame for this on to yourself or your child.

This bloke is a selfish, unfaithful sexist who is only trying to come back now because he's been blown out by the woman he left for.

How are you doing Uterus? My H walked out on me and 2 LOs just over two weeks ago to find himseelf, and found another woman immed . You story feels so similar to mine in many ways, hope your weekend is going ok

Hello again.

I'm back to square one.
He asked me to drop off kids in a strange town. I had a massive panic attack when I got lost. I shouted at him on the phone. he cold shouldered me. Won't talk to me.

We had booked a nice restaurant tomorrow to talk about stuff, although he said he didn't want to talk.

I should be with my husband, not dropping the kids off tohim.

I am supposed to be going out with work tonight. I just feel suicidal. If I can't be with my husband I don't want to be anywhere.

He hates me so much. I don't know why. There's nothing I can do to stop him hating me. He hates me because I'm mental, but I can't help this. I'll never be whi he wants me to be. I don't want to be anything but his wife. I can't go on like this. I can't be without him.

Just happened on this and couldn't leave it after seeing your update.

I'll just say one thing - don't you dare kill yourself over this man!

I mean that in the kindest way possible

Can you call a friend for some RL support, because it sounds like you really need some right now.

Hang on a minute, what about your DC. Do you really want to leave them?

I know you are in a tremendous amount of pain but it won't always be like this.

Please don't do anything, and keep posting here.

Sending you some kind thoughts xx

I'm this mess because he left, but he thinks I should be jolly all the time. He doesn't see how he gas affected me.

I just shout at the kids because I'm a mess.
Theyll just be poor with me.
He earns all tge money, as he always tells me.

I'll tell you something I don't talk about much.

I nearly lost my mum when I was 11 - she tried to kill herself. It wasn't successful, but I didn't see her for eighteenth months and it was the worst time of my life.

Trust me - you don't want to put your kids through that. You really, really don't.

At the end of the day, children don't really care about things like money and material stuff, but they do love their mums, and they'll miss you like you wouldn't believe.

No man is worth losing your kids and your life over.

Anyway never mind me - what you really need right now is a friend. Please pick up the phone and call your best friend, your family, anyone who will help. You need someone there right now, not words on a screen.

I just need my husband to love me.

Don't do anything lovely, just keep posting on here, but please give also give someone a ring so they can come and be with you.

An man who makes you cry is not worth your tears. He doesn't understand because he is not capable of it as he is the only person who has any needs or emotions EVER. That and the fact he says he earns all the money shows what a contemptible emotional parasite. He is probably getting off on the emotional drama of it as it fuels his ego.
Please keep posting.

Uterus - you don't need this man, so stop turning yourself inside out to try and please him. Think about the strange town situation and cold shoulder again. If he gave a shite he wouldnt have put you in that situation but he's just heartless. He set you up to fail, so you can feel bad and have your confidence destroyed.

Please, please get angry with the fucker.

I'm too weak to be angry.

I'm going to my mums. I'm supposed to be going out with friends. That might beva good distraction.

I'm just empty again

Going to your mums sounds like a good idea.

Uterus....I havnt read your complete thread but (and I know Im going to be slated here) if you believe deep down that he is a good man and you love him then if you really really want to you could salvage something from this wreck. Its something only you can decide on. No one else. Its your life and your future. Many marriages have hit the rails at a certain point and it is usually the man who walks away and the story does seem to always be the same but there are usually many reasons why and often the signs are there years before the Affair. The Affair is not really the reason the man leaves its what has happened in the years before it. Many women have come out of these make or break crises in their marriage and many decide to stand and fight and in the process they change themselves for the better and find that they are a lot stronger and more powerful than they thought possible. They become capable of living on their own and being happy , and they sometimes decide that they want to start a new relationship with their husband too.

Please get some support from your friends and try to take ten seconds off... Honestly, I would eat my own backside if it turned out your miserable H didn't have another woman/ victim on the go.

This is what they do when they're off with soneone else - put you in situations where you lose it or fall apart, so they can then go 'look at that total mess - see, I am completely justified in being an arse and wrecking my children's lives."

Yes, he will act like he hates you as he ought to hate himself butche's projecting... And he's really not worth your tears - certainly not your life.

Uterus I've been where you are, i tried to kill myself, leaving DD behind, later that day, i got home, my ex fiancee, left me that night, i cried non stop for months, Social services got involved, took DD away from me, said i was neglectful, when i was very clearly depressed, i felt no one wanted to help, i wanted my ex to come back and it all go away, i fought so hard to get DD back, and the depression is finally under control, so now, nearly 4 years later:

Lou, you nearly married a selfish twunt

Im single, happy, doing things for me, my life is boring, but its safe, and its my life with DD, everyone else can just fuck off, not pleasing anyone else but me and DD. Thats all.

Uterus, I am so sorry. Are there any friends or family hat can come and stay over for a bit?

Hope you're feeling more positive this morning UUG?

Uterus please call me or FB me if you need to, I am always around, bring the DC (mine will be delighted), you can crash if need be, loads of space for the four of you xx

Uterus, can you see your friend mistress poppy? I think you know her in rl?
Mistressploppy, can you call uterus? If you know her?

He is being an arse. You are not mental. You are the mother of 3 amazing dc who love you. Your dh is not worthy- he hasn't been the dh he was and has now left. You said yourself, you have a new normal and he was cruel to make you think it might work again.

I hope your dm is looking after you. It's the shock, of him leaving, then being nice, then being an arse again. He doesn't hate you. I'm guessing he doesnt like himself much and is taking it out on you. Its very hard, but think of your dc and yourself. He didn't treat you right, he isn't now.

Take care of yourself - can you tell work and get sometime off to sort out your finances? You don't have bend to his will, just because he earns the money. He sounds very selfish. You on the other hand sound very kind and tolerant.

Holding your hand so tightly uug. I am in a similar position dh has left for a few days to decide what he wants to do. I have put on a big show for dc and he has been coming to put them to bed. I feel sick all the time waiting for him to decide what he wants and I have only told my best friend as I don't want anyone to know in case he comes back. We can be strong and get through this together x

Hope you are feeling a little bit better Uterus. Don't leave your DCs, give them a better life. Happy Mum equals Happy DCs. You have so much ahead of you that will be good. This is a turning point in your life. Remember your kids love you and you love them. Just the other night you had fun with your dd on the sofa. Keep yourself detached from husband, he is throwing you into turmoil. Don't agree to travelling to strange places. Let him do the running, protect yourself.Anxiety is the other side of depression. Build a wall between him and you. Put an emotional plastic bubble wrap around yourself. Imagine his hurtful words bouncing off you and into space. Withdraw to your inner self, protect yourself and stay safe. You are the only person in the world who loves the DCs as much as you love the DCs. A father should do what he can to protect the emotional well being of his children's mother in order to protect their emotional well being. He should not belittle you in any way and it is wrong of him. Things can and will get better. Shut him out emotionally and don't let him destroy your balance. He has no power over you if you don't let him. Put yourself first, your wants, your needs. You are a strong capable woman. He is an immature, irresponsible running away from marriage man. House tidy my arse. I am assuming he has arms and legs?