A Sex Question......

[moonblushtomato]

DH has a bee in his bonnet (or underpants) that we are not having enough sex. Just wondered what the going rate is these days?
We are in on our early 40s, have been married for nearly 8 years and have 3DCs aged 15, 6 and 4.
btw we are averaging about once a week which I'm quite happy with.

No, and it isn't a point I make so I'm defending it on behalf of someone else, but it is related because a partner who sits on their arse and watches their partner run themselves ragged with housework and childcare and then complains they are too tired for sex might feel less tired or more intimate with someone who doesn't leave all the housework to them.

Are there really blokes who don't help at all these days? If so why don't their partner's do something about it

Yes there are still some blokes out there like this.

Of course there are, I don't think it is up to the partners to do something about it, sometimes they are women who have been raised to be servile living with men who are women as servants and they are often now called abusers and it is hard to unpick it. I think it is a pretty common theme within threads on here.

Think

Argh stupid cold think women are servants

I'm quite new to Mumsnet JF , do I need to stay online to reply to everyone? And I guess I do feel more blasé about my situation now but in Good way. Now me and DH have started to get it sorted, it's taken the tension out of the air.

Thanks again

Ghostship I might look into the pill thing a bit more.

servants? sometimes women rule the roost and have their men running round doing chores to try and please them

OP, so there is really no problem here at all

that's useful to know when people have put their all into advising you, got deleted, got banned, had arguments with people they wouldn't normally have arguments with, changed their opinions of totally reasonable posters etc

that's just great, I am chuffed for you

penny haven't you read the relationships board before ?

Only Xenia penny, don't think I have ever seen another one on the whole board.

Yes! why are you having a right go at the OP ? sounds like she has sorted her problem...

OP, you don't need to reply to everyone. But there was a very horrible disturbing debate while you were away. And it did make some posters anxious.

Some of the worst posts have been deleted now so perhaps the conversation doesn't make total sense to you.

But it did seem like you were being a little flippant and blase after all that's gone on. But I'll put that down to you not having read the whole thing perhaps.

Iknow someone like that in RL offred

I can't believe that you are having a go at the OP because some silly argument went on in her thread while she wasn't here... there are always rows on MN it is hardly her fault for starting the thread is it?

Yes I think I have for the time being anyway.

I'm pleased for you moonblushtomato
My sex drive was lower on Cerezette..

flippancy ain't the best reaction to how her thread turned out, tbh

I would judge that

Just read some new messages and yes, I am confused!

Have I missed something? Anyway, I have read all the helpful advice offered and thanks again for that.

I know one like that in rl when I think of it (she is an abuser who has killed my xbf's career and banned him from even speaking to women) but I know legion of "why should I tell you I'm going to the pub after work/look after the dcs at all? You only work part time and the rest of the time you just play with dc" men...

watch out it's the flippant police...
how did her thread turn out? did something terrible happen in it

I thought moonblushtomatos post was more bemused than blasé.

I think I missed it too OP!

mbt's post was fine

well, some people lost their MN membership

that could be terrible for them, since I am thinking they are in awful need of some support if their input was genuine