How many men / women have you slept with?

[ElizabethX]

Assuming you can remember that is.

Today for the first time ever I counted and it is 14 / 0*.

I am 35. This is just under 1 a year since I became sexually active (started late...4th term at uni). I'm not counting youthful messing about, I mean full sex.

This doesn't seem so many to me and obv its going to depend when you became monogamous anyway. But, I have seen articles that suggest a much lower figure, eg 7 for men 4 for women.

Am I a bit of a slapper (which I would be fine with, I enjoyed it) or are all these people just lying? I think the latter, because judging by who I have spoken to 14 is much more typical than 4.

• 14 men I think ** no women I am sure

Age 35 - two men, one woman.

Age 23

Not sure exactly how many men - somewhere between 45 and 50 I think

No women.

That was all between 16 and 21. Am now getting married and I don't expect it to go up.

50ish/0

It's only 2 per year though on average...

Am 35 years old. Married for 4 yrs - Met DH when I was 25 and been monogamous since.

I lost my virginity aged 25 (could have done it sooner but I wanted to be sure the person I exchanged bodily fluids with was someone I really cared about). I did not orgasm - it felt "nice" but the earth... didn't move shall we say!! Anyway 1 more failed attempt at sex later and then we split. He dumped me by text and I was sure all men were bastards.

My now DH was friends with me at the time and held my hand through the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then when he felt I'd grieved a suitable length of time he made his move . After our first encounter in the bedroom the earth didn't move so much as the whole solar system was realigned
So, for that reason I count my total number as 1 and a 1/2 men - 0 women and I'm not in the least bit sorry about it!

Oh, thank the Lord for this thread. Last night my new(ish) DP and i were discussing this very topic. His number was 0/4 (assuming women are the latter number). I almost spat out my tea - he's 43! My number is 15/0 which I always thought was very reasonable but he went all cat's bum face when I told him. This thread proves that I am not an old slapper. So thank you.

1/0 - I started going out with my DH when we were 17 (27 now)

Not even ed about it

Right at this moment (in a hospital bed in early labour with twins) I wish it was 0/0

Well how fascinating. many thanks...I have no idea what the average is but it must be one of those meaningless averages, like the average person has 1.8 legs. the whole spectrum from 1 to hundreds... someone's probably slept with the 'average' number bit probably only one 'someone'...

either is fine, whatever works for you. I think people who've been happy with 1 partner are fortunate - the one they tried was the one they kept. those who've managed hundreds, well, differently fortunate....good on you for pulling hundreds of times, I never have!!

i don't think i would ever manage that many simply because I find it takes months to get really good and then I don;t want to go back to scratch with someone new. I have not bothered sleeping with blokes I could have slept with simply because I thought Nah, new bloke, we won't have a clue, it'll be crap....can't be arsed.

wonder if anyone's "score" (bleeurgh) is lower because they had FWBs in between times?

6/0 here. Maybe my score would have been higher if not for a FWB for 2 years, I don't know. I will say that he was the best out of the 6 and still provides happy memories !

41!

Said I'd stop at 40 - but then I was persuaded

I hate to sound dim, but what's a FWB?

friend with benefits

so if you averaged but then acquired a FWB you'd be getting yer itch scratched without your number going up.

sorry - if you averaged 1 a year but then...

OOOOH and you see I knew that

6/0

1. a lad at a drunken school party who was tiny
2. my high school sweetheart
3. Tosspot ex
4. a random lad in a nightclub whose name I didn't even know then
5. My BIL's best mate
6. Husband

11/1. I think the first number is right. Fooled around with a few more men too. All before I was 21.

I'm loving the lists and descriptions of them! I'm not going to attempt to put mine in list

Last night my new(ish) DP and i were discussing this very topic. His number was 0/4 (assuming women are the latter number). I almost spat out my tea - he's 43! My number is 15/0 which I always thought was very reasonable but he went all cat's bum face when I told him

IfimHonest - don't like the sound of your new DP.

As for partners - haven't the foggiest, I've never counted

Lost count a long time ago/2

I reckon probably around 100 though. Lots definitely. I'm neither here nor there about it.

6/0

My first partner was my first husband, at age 23. My second partner was my second husband at age 35. When I separated last year I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone and have had four partners in the last 11 months. Absolutely no regrets. It was a liberation in many ways, not all of it good (though some has been mind-blowing), but all of it enlightening.

I am 40, btw.

2/0

And one of those I didn't have any choice in the matter.

I'm 35 and have been with dh for 15 years.

@ conflugen

do you find it's better now than it was then?

when I was 25 I didn't really know what I liked, wasn't confident enough to ask for it if I did know, and was with men who didn't know how to provide it anyway. I also wasn't all that comfortable being naked in front of someone either.

none of the above is true any more so it's way better.

come to think of it, apart from the naked bit, all of the above is true of everything else as well, not just sex...

asking a stupid question, can anyone explain how men's and women's average number can be different?

if you have 10 men and 10 women then whether each woman has sex with one man or one woman has sex with all 10 and nobody else does, the average for each is going to be the same.

so how can you have an average of 7 for men and 4 for women? doesn't it prive the sample's rubbish because it doesn't balance?

@ emandlu

approx 15/0

I'm 41, married and been with DH 13 years. There are a few ONSs and a couple of LTRs in my figure.