No make up no bragging, no kissing, no shagging, no tumbling hair, be a maiden fair. And you definitely won't see him for dust! Dating thread 14

[ChaoticismyLife]

Chastity belts at the ready...

Extra strong padlocks required...

I won't fight you for him Chaotic

MLM he's young enough to be my son, it wouldn't be right of me to comment!

Headlines....

"Friendly, Honest and Faithful....." so's my dog.
"I DONT BITE!" I do...sometimes
"Looking for" Well if he doesn't know what how is anyone else supposed to?
"No lies, no games, no bull, no hair" The last bit is true.
"Still looking is there any nice ladies left ??" No!
"Looks like it's a Thai bride for me then!! :-/" How nice of him to let us know to avoid him.
"seeks an AngelFish" You might like to try underwater.
"Looking for a fun lady for good times" Wants sex, avoid at all costs.
"im looking for you!" OMG!!! I hope not.
"This rooster is looking for a hen house." Quick!! Pull up the barricades.
"sexy 44 yr old wiganer" Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

I've had an email today from a 19 year old (I'm 41) with a long speil about him wanting to experience an older woman sexuallly before he goes to university - WTAF - what is the world coming to!!!! He was a complete minger just in case you're wondering (otherwise I might have been tempted).

MLM he ain't too bad. I'm liking the tattoos

The man who is putting some doors up for me (and came round tonight to measure up) has just said he will fix both loos for £60 each.

And he can do that and all 10 doors next week.

I think I love him

MLM objectively speaking he's seems nice.

sponge that's great news :) Things are looking up.

Oh God Sponge, don't you go falling in love too, especially over a toilet! But that's great news! What's he like? Is he worth a flirt while he works?

I've just been messaged by a 44 year old "Cooooooooooor! Older woman fantasies kicking in!! xxx"

I'm only 47!

Sorry, Time, but

I am a bit gobsmacked!

Just had a " You know, thee as fit as, nice1" Good to tell I live in Yorkshire

I am liking the idea of his hot tub, indoor swimming pool and aston Martin....... Imagine being treated like a princess and the amazing sex in the hot tub and on the aston Martin I am a perfect angel stop bleeding laughing

And then he woke up MLM.

Just catching up - happy to see some dates coming up, love the new thread title, snapes evening sounds fabulous and happiest to see the humour is still here

I've just dumped someone I haven't even met! The one with no name, he has been texting for nearly two weeks. Always the initiater -started the day with a 'good morning sexy' and ended with goodnight

He has been saying about meeting up - he suggests a day, then has reason why he can't - at the weekend it was his kid, so he will see me monday - monday has to work - will see me tues - tues too tired will see me thurs - thurs needs to work will see me fri. Plans always cancel when I say he can't come to my home. I live with my kids, of course he can't come here! Also, never on a first meeting.

So when I said no to coming to my house tomorrow afternoon, he said lets meet next week then. I've just told him no way, take care and contact me when he is ready to meet in public - which I doubt he will

Now, I know I started to talking to him under intimate encounter, but he also knows I don't just sleep with anyone, I want an attraction and a friendship, he's been told that repeatedly. AAARGGHH

When will men understand a little bit about how women work?

Will be going on a nice date with MrPolite tomorrow, at least he has manners

He's actually rather lovely, if only about 25. And a bit hairy and scruffy which is not my type at all.

Honestly though when he told me what he was going to charge I came very close to hugging him!

MLM, I'd be a bit sceptical if only because he comes from Basildon which is chav central not known for indoor swimming pools and hot tubs. And I'd be thinking if he has got all that stuff, it's his parents house etc. But then I am an old cynic

A waste of time MsCellophane. At least you didn't waste time actually meeting him.

Wrt MLM's link...I really must start reading profiles, although I'd have to agree with Time re him dreaming.

Even if it is his parents house we can still have a nice evening of great sex chatting and having a giggle. Never been in a hot tub.

I wasn't sure about him either, but he isn't bad looking and we have been messaging for a few days, worth a date, maybe? Just to blot out just friends?

Sponge, he sounds like my type!!!!!!

Glad It's all being fixed :)

Think match was a mistake... Hardly anyone nice and a whole sack of potatoes!!!

Don't think men will ever understand how women work MsC, they are too busy thinking about the working part in their trousers. Good on you for getting rid. You're not short of dates so don't need to settle for dross. Enjoy your date with Mr Polite

Sponge wait until he's done the job and the toilets are working before you give him a hug! Showing him your toilet might have caused him to think you are up for sex!

MLM if all you're after is a date then why not?

Chaotic Tell him he would be more suited to Gumtree, No one here wants him, but thanks anyway.

So I can't send him back where he belongs then?

Go on then, but before you do tell him his trousers are too tight. He nearly took my eye out when I clicked on his profile!

Aye, he really needs to stop sticking things down his trousers

Sponge have you seen the wonderful advice you are getting on your other thread I mean, why have you put N/A next to car? Men love cars? You should have your photo taken next to a mini!