What women want from a relationship: the definitive Mumsnet list?

[GeraldineMumsnet]

We're putting together some Relationships content based on issues that recur in this Talk topic. We thought a print-it-out-and-pin-it-on-the-fridge type list of what you want from a relationship would be useful and interesting - and possibly surprising for your other half!

So what do you need from your 'significant other' in order to feel content with your relationship? Please share...

Thank you.

Shared responsibilty for the things we're jointly responsible for! "Helping out" is crap, it's his job too, so I would like him to do his share of housework/pack a bag for DD when we're going out/cook a meal without being prompted, and without having to check everything with me first!

Hugs! (I do get a lot of these :) )

Keep making me laugh!

in an ideal world the man would share the chores and bringing up of a child.

agree with mrsmango - for him to do some house work because he wants to help not because he been asked!

to do the manly things around the house, like putting a shelf up in the same month you asked him to.

sooo many, will be funny to see other posts :o)

Respect.

Oh! I'm a demanding bugger. In no perticular order:

Love, loyalty, humour and fun, kindness and thought, integrity, trust, affection, respect, communication and support.

(should add - any man capable of all those who happens to be my significant other will get the same back from me!)

To not have to ask where the nappies are after 6 months of living in the same flat and have always been kept in the same place.
Only one symptom of a wider malaise!

argh, particular*

To be treated as an equal, whatever our roles.

Not a surprise to my DH, though, since he does that anyhow.

Respect, first and foremost, you can't have a good relationship without it.
Honesty.
Emotional intelligence and strength.
I think that's the "holy trinity", everything else just naturally flows from those .

The ability to bake great cakes and be fantastic in bed are plus points too.

Someone who'll dispose humanely of gigantic spiders

The ability to make a good cup of tea :)

Respect
Honesty
Loyalty
Openness
Attraction
Understanding
Ability to listen

Friendship.
Openness.
Shared responsibility

Respect, honesty, trust.
The ability to pick up the 3 pairs of his shoes currently being ignored by the front door :/

Respect and real shared responsability of the house/dcs (so not doing something only when asked but being able to be proactive about it).

I would have before added emotional support and being affectionate. As it turns out, it seems more and more likely that DH has AS and I've had had to acknowledge I do need to review my list. So instead the one thing that is on my top three is
always doing your best to enhance the relationship

For each and every man to have a lengthy and grueling interview with Anyfucker before they are allowed anywhere near a vagina?

Sorted.

The ability to be able to (not even simultaneously, one action after the other would suffice, I don't expect much) close a wardrobe door after extracting an item of clothing would be lovely.

And never, no not never, even in his subconscious thoughts ever to even consider, for a nanosecond, saying "well, my mother........"

And no white socks. Or brown trousers. Or moustaches. Or pants with cartoon characters on.

And all the serious stuff that everyone else will say later.

Actually, my top serious one is this:

To never forget that I was a woman, and a fairly independent one at that (with my own brain and everything)for 30+ years before I met Handsome Swain.

That has not and and will not change, just because I have put his pants in the washing machine.

To see me as a person first, rather than a woman first

Friendship, laughs, shared interests

If we're living together, to feel like we approach life, all important, most semi-important and some trivial decisions as a team, not just that we're two people who happen to share a house and maybe ask each others' opinions on the really big things.

Someone who is kind

It helps if they're a massive geek too

Anyone else notice only one person so far has mentioned good sex?

Yes yes, using own initiative to help without being asked.

A sense of humour, especially when things are really dire. But in a 'laughing with' rather than 'laughing at' sense, obviously.

Complete openness and honesty.

Respect and equality.

A commitment to personal growth. This is a biggie for me. If both people aren't aware of their flaws and committed to bettering themselves, things get pretty ugly no matter how compatible you are/fancy each other etc.

Commitment to the relationship; actually wanting to be in one with you, and voting with their feet rather than pretty flowery words or, indeed, flowers. Showing you each day in big or small ways that they love you, they care and they want to be with you. Like asking you if you'd like a cuppa when you get in and then putting the shopping away. Without being asked.

I'm on to a good one, just now

If someone promised me I wouldn't have to bother with sex at all, I'd be shoving Handsome Swain down a mineshaft quicksharp.

Love
Respect
And a big fat willy

(no need to return, use him as you would a disposable contactlens)

Wanting the same stuff that you do. Shared dreams, values and priorities.