What women want from a relationship: the definitive Mumsnet list?

[GeraldineMumsnet]

We're putting together some Relationships content based on issues that recur in this Talk topic. We thought a print-it-out-and-pin-it-on-the-fridge type list of what you want from a relationship would be useful and interesting - and possibly surprising for your other half!

So what do you need from your 'significant other' in order to feel content with your relationship? Please share...

Thank you.

Someone I can be with and not loose my own identity nor him his.
Someone who helps me reach my potential/goals and chivvys me on to do this.
Someone I can feel safe enough with and have a flaming arguement with and no one thinks its over. Things get resolved instead.
It's the little repetitive things that irk me, so someone who knows not to keep repeating these things when it's easy for them not to.

Oh and also all the other stuff as in kindness, faithfulness etc.

Last but not least, a blinding sense of humour.

Ooops, forgot.

a 12 inch willy Someone who know what to do in the sack

I love my DP because he's my best friend and my lover, cares deeply about me, puts me first, makes me laugh and respects women generally. And he's not tight. I hate it when men are tight.

And he scraped the slug off my shoe. That's real love.

A mutual commitment to overthrowing capitalism.

Good one, motherinferior. DH is out at a "Refounding Labour" meeting tonight. I told him if he didn't get it founded properly this time not to bother coming home.

Respect
Intelligence
Friendship
Intimacy - emotional and physical
Physical affection
Feels proud of me
Good sex and wants sex
Values me as a equal
Contributes to finances, DC, general household workload, admin
Partner in life
Loyal

hot sex

no need to feel you can't treat me the same in bed now i'm a mum!

(in addition to what the others said)

Also someone who gives me a bit of room. Not someone who wants to do everything together and never 'lets' me see my own friends on my own.

Kindness.

To be desired.

Respect

Everything else flows from that.

That thing of not doing their fair share of housework, talking abusively at you, quizzing you about the cost of stuff - that comes from lack of respect.

In addition to what everyone else has mentioned, a taking of responsibility for his own health (can't abide men who smoke, binge drink and sit at the TV farting) with a basic amount of regular exercise and a resignation to the fact that a minimum of 2 hours of nearly each of my days, will be consumed by mumsnet.

Respect.
Honesty.
Humour.
Being a good dad.
Cup of tea in bed in the morning.
The occasional screaming orgasm (not at the moment though, SPD means any quivering around the groin = agony rather than ecstasy )

Most important of all: my DH must be TOLERANT. I am a right pain in the arse. I suspect the reason we have lasted this long is that he is able to tune out the general mardiness but still focus in on when I have a real problem / am genuinely upset.

AnyFucker should definitely set up as a freelance consultant for those entering new relationships! Often find myself agreeing with her.

Someone who doesn't become an utter nobjockey just because he is driving a vehicle. Because in my experience, in drivingo veritas est (?)

And someone who grows really top-quality blackheads (cysts as well, if I'm honest) and allows full access at possibly inappropriate times (lunch at the PILs, picking up ds from school etc).

Not to have to "work at it" for it to just be easy and comfortable and not cause me any anxiety.
No game playing,just honesty even if it seems silly.

Genuinely never had a list of what I would want in a man/relationship.
But been with Mr Proud 17 years and it still feels right.
Our values are the same - that's number one. You can both be wonderful people (or a pair of cunts) but if you don't naturally want the same things in life or disagree on what's fundamentally important that is baaaad.
Then, yes, friendship, love, respect, laughter, yada yada yada.

What do I look for in a relationship?

Er ...

Give us a clue?

Maturity

Respect
Honesty
The ability to listen
Sense of humour
Loyalty
To be able to take some initiative (around the house, the kitchen or even the bedroom )

Nice thread but not sure about the idea of a wish list for the fridge etc. the cynical side of me thinks mnhq have a PR exercise in mind to drum up press coverage?

Latecomer here...Looking forward to reading this thread...is mn thinking of writing a relationships book?

If so, could Reality's "Listen Up" post be on the front page in bold?

handsome (shouldn't put this first, but why be with someone otherwise?)
kind
clever
honest
cuddles our crying babe back to sleep when she wakes up in the night
would never harm a hair on our heads
makes me feel sexy and loved
has a grain or two of poetry in his soul

A little give and take on both sides, trust on both sides and complete honesty (unless ask if my huge butt looks huge) :o

make me laugh
'say or do things that say "i love you"
lots hugs
remember to put lav seat back when had a pee

love - I mean to be truly loved. That's number one.
respect
consideration
kindness
lots of laughs!
gentleness
intelligence
good listener
discusses issues - wouldn't want a shouter. shouting doesn't acheive anything. Would have to be able to calmly discuss anything, no matter how difficult, without yelling
not a big drinker
no swearing or quick temper
and lots and lots of sex. Can't get enough of me sex. Wants it every day sex! Twice a day. Looks at me and ping! The elastic on his pants snaps and they're flung across the room.