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Original poster

General internet dating support and chit chat thread

988 replies

lubeybooby · 19/09/2011 22:15

Relationships seems the most appropriate place for this I think? Happy to ask for it to be moved if it's maybe better in _chat or something.

Anyway!

Chit chat your dating/internet dating claptrap here!

Also your hints and tips please for dating in the shark pit on the internet

I'll start.

I'm 31, single and rather fed up of it now. Have a few internet dating profiles, am trying to improve my social life and get out more, even looking out for possible additional temp jobs just to be.... 'out there' a bit more.

Even had a go at cosmic ordering which has been cropping up in dating related threads recently. Now I'm a very scientific and cynical kind of person but when it comes to my (currently appalling) love life I will try anything to give it a bit of a boost. Whether that be focusing the mind on the task in hand or strange unknown forces I care not.

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RumourOfAHurricane · 20/09/2011 21:38

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Hatesponge · 20/09/2011 21:41

Maybe he's just one of those guys who wants a girlfriend but not a relationship...what with work, shared house, weekends at his parents with his DD sounds like he keeps pretty busy, so possibly just wants to 'see' someone once a week or so rather than proper relationship-y stuff. Nothing wrong with that of course, all depends on what you're looking for. If you want the butterflies, constant texting stuff you probably won't get that with him.

(Disclaimer - I haven't had a date in over 2 years. My knowledge is more theoretical than practical!)

Original poster
lubeybooby · 20/09/2011 21:48

Hmmm, shiney I can see why you have doubts there but I don't think it's quite enough to give up just yet. I'm pretty harsh (so I'm told by friends) and quick to drop someone but I still think he maybe has potential. You wouldn't be unreasonable to point out to him that he could sneak off from his parents, he may just not have thought of that yet. Once you have another date or two under your belt you might feel comfortable enough to put that to him, or if you can get phonecalls going rather than texts (as he isn't really great at those it seems)

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MrsMiniver · 20/09/2011 22:18

Can you girls tell me what sites you've been using? I've had a break from it all but fancy trying it again but don't want to have to cough up my hard-earned cash! I know PoF is useless for anything with a brain though - or can anyone hopefully show me that I'm wrong?

MadameDefarge · 20/09/2011 22:20

What is PoF? I have always used GSM (guardian soulmates) but have heard the Telegraph is also good. I abandoned match etc co the quality was so poor.

Original poster
lubeybooby · 20/09/2011 22:22

I really like okcupid. All free, more modern than pof and generally houses a better class of knobhead.

I dabble with pof but hate it, and haven't really given match or any subcription site a fair chance yet.

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FabbyChic · 20/09/2011 22:32

I always think men are more serious if they are willing to pay for a site.

MrsMiniver · 20/09/2011 22:34

It's Plenty of Fish Madame DF. Perhaps I'll go see if I can find a better class of knobhead on OK Cupid! Or maybe I'll just give up altogether cos I is too old!

Original poster
lubeybooby · 20/09/2011 22:36

MrsMiniver go for it on okcupid - the sign up process makes you think so it's easier to spot those who haven't put any thought or effort into their profiles. It's quite lengthy but fun!

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MadameDefarge · 20/09/2011 22:38

Am loving this thread. exacty what we need!

It can be so disappointing all the dating thingy!

Hatesponge · 20/09/2011 22:45

I'm on POF. I have been on it a while but hide my profile a lot when I get fed up with pervs and idiots. Was on Match but found you just got the same percentage of odd, just a bit better off/more literate.

However, I now appear to have a date this Friday Grin. It has been a long time. Feeling somewhat nervy already

adamschic · 20/09/2011 22:45

Still have my profile hidden but it's on POF. I don't want to pay and as I'm fairly rural it's POF or Match that have traffic in my area.

OK Cupid seems better quality.

adamschic · 20/09/2011 22:46

Waves to Hatesponge, so tell us more about this date?

Seth · 20/09/2011 22:49

Great idea for a thread! I am just hovering on the edge of posting a profile on ( probably) GSM ... Not sure if I am quite there yet by can relate to this thread as have been out on 3 dates with someone I met as a friend of my boss whilst out on a work do.Shine I could have written your post ( am assuming is not same man) Have been o. 3 dates and this man is Lovely.A real gent, totally honest, nice looking, fantastic job, quite old fashioned in his approach to dating but is same age 38 as me....but I am not sure of the connection between us, and I do think our 'relationship' could be fueled by some regular banter, bit of flirting on text / email... Just so you get to know each other a bit, so it feels like things are moving forward.. He is 'superbusy' with his joband same-I will send him a text with an off the cuff remark and he'll respond hours later when the moment has passed.

That said have also been in daily contact on email with a guy I had a fling with about 10 years ago for about the last 2 weeks.It is so much fun but he has just stopped emailing the last 2 days and I hate to admit I feel a bit gutted-like his emails were making my life exciting.. So I think a false high / certain vision of a person can be created by the constant emaibg/ textig and maybe something more real may come from the slow and steady approach ( bit dull tho innit ?!)Same with yours I'd v committed to his kids-which is a good thing but does leave you wondering where you would fit in if indeed you wanted to

Hatesponge · 20/09/2011 23:03

Adams! Grin

well, he's the my type. Construction worker, bit younger than me (5 years...eek!), from his photos has good hands but also a hairy back. But he could wax it I suppose Grin

We are going for a drink in a local pub on Friday.....

Now the what to wear panic is setting in!

Original poster
lubeybooby · 20/09/2011 23:06

Urgh, I have a wine headache from one chuffing glass. Off to bed will reply sensibly (sort of) tomorrow

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charlottesmum5 · 20/09/2011 23:07

I'm on Eharmony now ......had a free weekend thing. Was about to remove profile when Mr Engineer contacted me...we are meeting tomorrow night for the first time :) He's funny, cute, good banter...I will report back :)

Original poster
lubeybooby · 20/09/2011 23:15

Yeahhhhhhhhhh I just got asked out and given a phone number :o

Ok really am off to bed now

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stayforthekids1 · 21/09/2011 00:27

well its kind of internet dating so....

There I was happily redoing my profile on POF when my phone goes and its a text from an online friend, that I have known for three years and only known online. Basically said that he really likes me and was taking a chance on telling me. I have always liked this guy, although we have never been anything but friends, as in thinking he is good looking and a great laugh, plus we have been there for each other when his relationship went wrong a year and half ago and he was devastated and him for me when my marriage ended 3 months ago. I never thought for a second that he might actually like me and am totally over the moon!

However. He is at the opposite end of the country. As in nearly 700 miles away. He is quite well off though and says distance isnt a problem for him, as in he can travel and is looking at flights to come and see me this weekend.

Total panic! What if he doesnt like me in person?! I am a bit different off line to online. Online I am a total joker and piss taker, offline I can be pretty quiet and serious, especially when I like a guy! I am totally bricking it. Can long distance things work even?!

cecilyparsley · 21/09/2011 00:45

stayfor I'm always very reluctant when someone says distance is no problem...what if they travel all that way to meet you and you take one look at him and think 'no way, no how, I just dont fancy him one bit'

PoppaRob · 21/09/2011 06:35

I'm on PoF and Oasis, but hidden at the moment, and I've just filled out a profile and answered a heap of match questions on OkCupid. Never say never!