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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

how do I ask him NOT to fondle me in the kitchen, without causing offence

169 replies

Easy · 12/10/2005 14:05

DH and I have been together 13 years now, still in love, still reasonably 'active in the bedroom', like kissing with tongues (saw other thread) and miss each other like mad since dh has started working away Mon-Fri.

BUT, over the last few months he's developed the habit of coming up behind me when I'm working in the kitchen, and fondling my bum or boobs etc. I know it's a sign of affection (and that he still fancies me), but it does irritate me a bit, when I'm trying to cook, or have the dishcloth in my hand. I don't want to offend (esp as he's only here 2 nights a week ATM, what would you say?

OP posts:
rummum · 12/10/2005 20:41

ohhhh I think I would stab hubby with a fork or something....

HuggyBear · 12/10/2005 20:48

lol decent in actually lasted longer than30's and made me feel good!!

HuggyBear · 12/10/2005 20:48

30 seconds*

crazydazy · 12/10/2005 20:50

God I am stitches over this thread

It has never bothered me that DP gropes me from time to time, like everyone says "it shows he still finds you attractive" but the question is girls "do you still find him attractive?" because if you did then why would it offend you?

Thats just my opinion though

mumfor1sttime · 12/10/2005 20:56

Think you have hit the nail on the head there!

HuggyBear · 12/10/2005 20:57

you can find someone attractive without molesting them all the time

crazydazy · 12/10/2005 21:01

I know what you are saying Huggybear but with my DP its just his way of showing affection - some may prefer flowers!!!!

It has offended me with past exes, but that was because I didn't feel the same towards them in a sexual way so the idea of them groping me turned me off!! It just irritated me.

HuggyBear · 12/10/2005 21:02

although you have a point - i really dont fancy my dh, hes a lovely man though

crystaltips · 12/10/2005 21:05

I'd lurve a bit of naughtiness in the kitchen - got the table for it anyway - but the kids are always about... and even as I type DH is glued to the England match
By bed-time all I want to do is sleep .... except when the visa bill comes in though

aloha · 12/10/2005 21:06

I don't think it's just because women don't find their husband's attractive. If the men whisked their partners off to a top hotel in Paris as a surprise, arranged childcare and booked a restaurant with champagne on tap, they might well find that their partners were very responsive to their advances. But the kitchen? Redolent of drudgery and work? I'm sure men find kitchens sexy because they associate them with being nurtured (and mothered?) - and lots of men think that the sign of true love is when someone feeds them. But I don't think most women feel the same way. Women want different things. Weekends away, spontaneous champagne, flowers, nights out.

aloha · 12/10/2005 21:06

sorry - husbands'

helloween · 12/10/2005 21:07

Why should he take offence if you just tell him what you think?

It's possible to fancy someone like mad but still get pissed off when they keep grabbing your t*ts in the kitchen!
Any subtlety DH used to exhibit went out of the window once we started living together. Sometimes I don't mind, other times - like when I've got 40 things on my mind and none of them is shagging - I want to take a blunt instrument to his tackle, but then he'd probably like that

crazydazy · 12/10/2005 21:09

Yeah Aloha agree with the whole romance thing the trouble is when you have kids the romance well and truly fades!!! But like you say, if they made an effort they could easily turn us into sex vamps no problem

helloween · 12/10/2005 21:09

Exactly - how many of us would get a response if we ran downstairs naked now and stood in front of the telly shouting "up for it!"

HuggyBear · 12/10/2005 21:10

i would - i only have to get changed and he tries to jump me. uuuuurrrggggg at men!

helloween · 12/10/2005 21:11

Actually Huggy, I wouldn't risk it either. They are smelly, aren't they?

Springchicken · 12/10/2005 21:14

Im going to try it now ladies, see if i can drag him away from the footie Will let you know if i have any sucess!

crazydazy · 12/10/2005 21:14

PMSL laughing at the Footie thing, I never ever get groped when the footie is on!!! Good job cos it sends me to sleep anyway!!!

Aw Huggy, you must be a hot looking woman!!!

crazydazy · 12/10/2005 21:15

The footie that is....not the groping

HuggyBear · 12/10/2005 21:17

lol crazy - more like hubby is desperate!!

crazydazy · 12/10/2005 21:21

You are married too????

helloween · 12/10/2005 21:21

You back yet Springchicken?

crazydazy · 12/10/2005 21:25

England have just scored but has she????

helloween · 12/10/2005 21:26

How sad are we?? (jogs off removing vest and girdle)

HuggyBear · 12/10/2005 21:29

am i married? yup ive been married for nearly 5 years. im 22 and we have 2 beautiful ds's

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