how do I ask him NOT to fondle me in the kitchen, without causing offence

[Easy]

DH and I have been together 13 years now, still in love, still reasonably 'active in the bedroom', like kissing with tongues (saw other thread) and miss each other like mad since dh has started working away Mon-Fri.

BUT, over the last few months he's developed the habit of coming up behind me when I'm working in the kitchen, and fondling my bum or boobs etc. I know it's a sign of affection (and that he still fancies me), but it does irritate me a bit, when I'm trying to cook, or have the dishcloth in my hand. I don't want to offend (esp as he's only here 2 nights a week ATM, what would you say?

Oh I think thats really sweet, so am assuming you are around the same age??? So he was 17 or 18 when you met and still fancies you so much that you can't undress without him jumping on you. I think your DH sounds like a man who is deeply in love with his wife!!!!

i was 16 and he was 21 when we met - but i was his first girlfriend bless him

hes very loving and cuddly and always tell me he loves me, hes a great dad too - im very lucky

problem is, cause i told him he was the worlds greatest lover the first time we did it (he was a virgin) hes never had to learn anything and the sex is dire!!!!!

i always fake it

I reckon it's all down to men and women and their different sexuality/biological needs really.

Did anyone read the Grauniad today.. the various men 'celebrities' talking about their days at public school? (in light of John Peel)...

Well it got me and dh talking... and no matter what you say, men are(ofen) more biologically 'needy'.

I am not saying that we have to oblige etc... and of course I do not condone any form of violence ...

but

how about legalised brothels?
perhaps they shouldn't just be dismissed in horror - maybe they could actually provide a 'service'?

Discuss.......

huggy- faking it is where you are going wrong IMO. i know you just don't want to offend but he won't think he has to change! Is there an accompanying book which went with that 'Sex inspectors' series- you could leave it meaningfully on his pillow!

cant be bothered GG

been there, done that, got the t-shirt - hes perfect in every other way though!

Unicorn...if you legalise prostitution, they can advertise for staff in Job Centres and they can make you choose between taking the jobs or losing your benefit...

See, I thought Huggy was joking..........

Oh, you weren't!

Oh Huggybear you have both led such sheltered lives haven't you? Really do not wish to offend you but maybe thats why you feel the need to fake it as you have not really "experimented" sexually!!!!

I truly do not mean it to sound condescending and hope it doesn't but do you know what I mean by that?

lol - i think we've experimented loads!!! cant think of anything else we could try.... and i have a fab imagenation

pmsl at this thread. dh has a knack of groping just at exact time am feeling my most unattractive.

I meant with somebody else!!!

Not suggesting you have an affair or anything I just mean before you settle down!!!!

lol crazy!!

i wouldnt get married so young if i could change things cause i think things would have fizzled out years ago if we didnt have the marraige and kids to keep working at it for.

I think he would have been my best mate rather than a hubby if things were differnt.

and dont tempt me with the affair....

(dont jump on me that was a joke lol)

The thing is men are hormonal too... but not at all in tune with women. (generally speaking of course!)
so - your choices are:
1)go along with them - and 'service' their needs.. you may, or may not, get pleasure.
2)Ignore them, and leave them to their own devices.
3)Try and make said man aware (ha) of your needs - and get him to wait for when you want to Go for it.
4)Lie (ha) back and think of England.. (when you don't even know who's on the team)

Take your pick!!!!

I am horribly depressed. I should have known all allong that DP is driven by dodgy sexist and oedipal motivations.

Unicorn! - Billy Bragg fan?????

btw... i have said to dh he should read this thread... are you all sure that some of you aren't married to my dh..?????

Blu, I think kitchen groping is universal. Men associate buns/roast lamb/domestic busyness with sex IME. Women, on the whole, do not.

Someone should write a feature about this

OK, off to shake hands with DH before going to bed.

Night all.

oh... I'm sure they will aloha

I tell him to piss off. Either that or knee him in the nuts. I don't believe in beating around the bush

i too thought my hubbie was the only one that did this!!

Generally I say sweetly:

What the F%^* are you doing?

He takes this remarkably well in the circumstances