how do I ask him NOT to fondle me in the kitchen, without causing offence

[Easy]

DH and I have been together 13 years now, still in love, still reasonably 'active in the bedroom', like kissing with tongues (saw other thread) and miss each other like mad since dh has started working away Mon-Fri.

BUT, over the last few months he's developed the habit of coming up behind me when I'm working in the kitchen, and fondling my bum or boobs etc. I know it's a sign of affection (and that he still fancies me), but it does irritate me a bit, when I'm trying to cook, or have the dishcloth in my hand. I don't want to offend (esp as he's only here 2 nights a week ATM, what would you say?

pmsl at this thread.... everyone seems to complain about this. What is it do you think? like some throw back caveman memory - me tarzan, you 50s housewife or something?

DH needs to read this thread..preferably before hand-shaking time tonight

God that could read more ways than one!

Easy I find that if I suggest waiting til bedtime, he has lost interest or has fallen asleep by then!

Do you have a very different sex drive to each other btw? Have you tried it in the kitchen?

But ScreamEagle, ending up on the floor or worksurface isn't practical when there is a 6 year-old in the house.

It was bad enough when we were on holiday, all sleeping in the same cabin, when ds woke up at about 12:30 a.m. (mummy and daddy were ermmm .. well you know), and he looked straight at us and said "Mummy, can I have a drink of water?"

Anyway, last time we tried it in the kitchen the woman from Christian Aid turned up at the door asking us to fill her envelope!!

PMSL Hunker

Its spontaneity (sp) at the wrong time isnt it!

You wouldnt mind if you were doing something inane or watching TV/MNetting but its always when you are doing something that has to be done else it will play on your mind until then.

I also moan abit (i do enjoy it lots really) about the fact that he waits till i go to bed and wonders why i say im tired. Because that is the REASON i have dragged myself up to bed, its not secret code or anything - i do actually want to go to sleep.

Ha ha Easy! My DD has been known to copy my DP smacking my bum as he walks past amongst other inappropriate things!

you might miss it if he stopped!

easy, feel his balls while hes watching football and then say "SEE?" when he tutts and gets annoyed

Ah yes it can be tricky having kids about!!

pmsl btw @ the Christian Aid woman - how on earth did you keep a straight face?

What do you say now?

I always say
'Ooooooh you are sooooo romantic. I am really turned on right now'

This always gets him laughing and he knows what I am getting at.

I'm still waiting for him to discover his romantic switch.

He doesn't watch football or any such thing NP.

find him a hobby then. he must be bored

(im not saying you arent irresistable btw!)

ScreamEagle, dh found some money for the Christian Aid lady, then shut the door and swore, and I mean real swearing.

Now on those odd occasions when we get steamy anywhere other than in our bedroom, dh has a tendancy to ask 'Is it Christian Aid week?' befor he abandons himself to his instincts!!

lol!

Nailpolish, he has a hobby, it is me and ds, and that is quite enough for any man.

Bored indeed

October now, either of those responses would really get my DP going.

have used Colditz's approach, almost verbatim

How about swapping places with him? He peels the potatoes whilst you fondle him, see how many spuds he can get done in a reasonable time with his concentration all over the place?

Then say, "see why it's not a good idea?!"

Message withdrawn

grab his bollocks when he's not looking repeatedly, he will soon notice that it's not that nice being groped all the time (acutally I don't mind it!)

I get this and don't mind usually but when I am trying to get tea out for the girls and have a crescendo of wailing to deal with as well......I tend to find my fingers twitching around the knifeblock.

I have exactly this and it's very annoying. I've just worked out a strategy.
How about waiting until a good moment (either when you are about to have sex or when you're just having a friendly chat and everyone's in a good mood) and tell him then how you really feel about his kitchen advances and why.
Isn't it annoying hgow we have to creep around their egos though?

i just said please dont do that it reminds me of sleezy guys in pubs.

pmsl @ "twitching round the knifeblock"

countessdracula, I have actually done what you suggest! it does work, and it's a laugh!!!