how do I ask him NOT to fondle me in the kitchen, without causing offence

[Easy]

DH and I have been together 13 years now, still in love, still reasonably 'active in the bedroom', like kissing with tongues (saw other thread) and miss each other like mad since dh has started working away Mon-Fri.

BUT, over the last few months he's developed the habit of coming up behind me when I'm working in the kitchen, and fondling my bum or boobs etc. I know it's a sign of affection (and that he still fancies me), but it does irritate me a bit, when I'm trying to cook, or have the dishcloth in my hand. I don't want to offend (esp as he's only here 2 nights a week ATM, what would you say?

PMSL at the Jordan & Peter method of contraception!

I cant believe what I am reading!! I get the impression that many of you see sex or even affection as a chore!?
Does anyone on here actually enjoy sex or 'getting close' to their partner?

Ooh! ooh! me! me!

anorak-!!!!!

(Actually so would mine come to think of it....)

my dh does this. sometimes i like it - as i too grope from time to time - but if i have hot pan in hand i think i am allowed to bark "f8ck off!!" without him needing psycothereapy for it

i think the big problem is that men find women working in a kitchen very sexy (for all kinds of reasons, including dodgy sexist and oedipal ones) and women think kitchens are the least sexy places on earth.

Mumsnet at its best once again!

God i'm so glad this thread was started. I thought dp was the only one that did these things.

I have also avoided certain words in conversations before now because I know he'll find some sexula thing about it.

I try to be tolerant of the groping for at least a second or 2, but anymore and I have to tell him to go unless he wants me to shove it in the grater.

Queen Victoria, you hit the nail on the head with the bed things - IMHO, bed is for sleeping! I am all up for DP grabing a quickie mid afternoon etc but no, he waits til we go to bed and then moans when i tell him to piss off as I'm going to sleep! Grrrrrr

Also the sulking when you do say no to sex. I honestly think dp will roll that far over in a sulk one of these days that he will fall out.

I think they do it because your attention is elsewhere and they know you are not going to see them coming and take evasive action! I actively encourage groping when dp first walks in in the evening, in the hope it will train him out of doing it at other times. Except when I've had a sh*t day of course, in which case I stomp around with a face like death and would clang a saucepan off his head if he DARED to grope

Mumfor1sttime, I do know what you mean. Years ago I used to work with a lot of older women who already had families. They used to constantly sit and moan about their husbands wanting sex, things like "I just want to lie on the sofa in the evening and he's climbing all over me, blah blah." I thought "If I ever get like that I think I'll shoot myself." But since having a baby some nights I know exactly how they felt

Dh looks over all moodily and sly and says....

"Theres some sex over here if you want it..."

Then smiles with one eye brow raised wobbling his head.

Me.."No thanks".

This thread has made me laugh my head off, so glad i logged on.

Twitching at the knife block..hahaha!
Melon left in fruit bowl,,,,hehehehe!
chamber maid squeal...ooh sir you'll get me sacked you will...HAHAHAHA!
fantastic!

I cant believe some of you are so mean to your groping dhs! youre so lucky to have a bloke who fancies you.

what's dodgy about men fancying women in the kitchen ffs? I revel in my earth goddess role as food producer!

the only showstopper for me would be if the children were around. No inimate groping in front of them.

Real passion killer is me planning a romantic evening for most of the day, DP coming in from work, slobbing out on the sofa all smelly and sweating, scratching his balls whilst saying "You gonna suck it tonight then"!

I know, TMI, but he seriously does this! Needless to say my answer is ....................... NO

I very much enjoy it M41stT but not whilst doing the washing up, or laundry, or bin emptying, or cooking, ironing etc etc.

And i think aloha is right about men find kitchen sexy and women find kitchen a bore/bind.

There are plenty other times he could pick too. There was a thread a few weeks back about night out = sex. In those circumstances i would be totally up for a grope because we would be a) on our own b) BOTH relaxed c) able to enjoy each others company d)not busy doing stuff that he'd moan about if not done. Ive been asking him to take me out for weeks now . Man, he could take me out every night IYSWIM, as long as ive done the washing up in peace first.....

Some very scary similarities there spring chicken!

try squezzing his balls when he is watching Top Gear

Frannykenstein - I agree that after having children we dont always fancy sex/affection every day or when our partner wants it etc, especially if we are tired/had bad day etc. There isnt anything wrong in that. It can be hard to keep the 'romance' there.
I am very strict in my house that my living room is 'our space', in the evening we pack all baby related things away from sight and have some 'adult' time. I think this is important.
As for the kitchen groping, it is just affection. Has anyone had their partner trying to distract them when on the phone? ie by flashing or making gestures? Could try this on him if he doesnt like it, to get back for kitchen groping!

overdraft - I fear my dh would enjoy that!

LOL I have flashed etc. when his mother was on the phone. He got off the phone pretty quickly (yes, that was my cunning plan)

i wuld proabaly be happier to be groaped in the kitchen.... if the sex was decent!!

oh dear huggy bear..

Decent as in prim and proper or good Huggybear?

lol frannykenstein, brilliant idea