The Archers - It's not about the money, money, money, think about Jill's honey, honey, honey, Justin wants to farm by satnav, forget about the prize tag.

[PseudoBadger]

Will The Dopeys have buggered off by the end of this thread?
Will Tom finally reach home, after weeks of trekking through the tundra?

Fucking Carol.
As I said when she first appeared. what is she FOR?

Well I guess she is a device to showcase SO'C's highbrow pretensions whilst distracting us from the Eastenderification of TA.

Hmmm, well I just find her really grating, in a way that even the most annoying characters who are not played by 'big name actors' aren't . Somehow I can tune them out but her fluting, hammy tones really obtrude.

Only just caught up as been away. Yes - that was utterly cringeworthy (the Bron-athon).

Completely agree that it's a bit odd that Kate is just coming for Xmas on her own. Nolly is 13 (just checked) but can't remember how old Sipho is - about 8 maybe? I think my DS would take a very dim view of me buggering off to the other side of the world at Xmas.

I did love NT having a go at Rob about the new cows but until they started talking about the veg, I thought it was Charlie and Rob having a conversation! I clearly need a lot more of that not-very-natural name-dropping :o

The new thread title should contain themes such as

Why is Charlie looking after the bridge farm cows?

Why does Eleanor bron keep making guest appearances?

i think she has a lovely voice, but the character is annoying. she was entertaining to me at first, but seems rather a bully now (and a bit of a plot device)

Or:

Something, something ... Are you listening with a blithe spirit or going cold turkey?

Early draft; needs some work.

She is a my way or the highway type. Which is basically bullying but the kind of person who claims they just have strong opinions. But essentially a bully.

I hate the conversations with Jill. Makes carol sound like the queen bee and Jill simpering around trying to be popular 'please live in my house and treat it like your own and bin all my stuff'

I hate the way Jill keeps giggling at everything Carol says. It makes her sound daft.

You'll be sorry when poor Jill is dead of a poorly heart before Christmas ...

Why would Alice say "Caroline Sterling"? She wouldn't.

I was thinking about Jill being deaded from a heart attack just this morning Zero.

So all the new listeners can google and figure out who she is?

Jill deaded by a broken heart? Will everyone blame David or the road?

I guess it is quite soap to build up to a death (tony) and then surprise you with another.

But in ta that doesn't happen really. Either the actor dies so they kill off the character or they trail it ahead - like Nigel.

Gotta love Alice!!!

Why are they doing this with Alice? I find the constant squabbling really irritating. Can't they just give us classic Lynda?

Glad Ruth and David are feeling the wrath of the locals!!

Just how much money would they lose if all the locals boycott their seasonal produce?

Re Caroline Sterling - it did sound odd, but then we only have a limited number of characters to think about. Alice and Susan both probably know dozens (hundreds?) of other people.

Indigestion? Tiredness? Not wanting to make Christmas lunch?

POISON!

Carol is poisoning Jill - she's putting it in the wine she keeps tipping down her neck.

Where's your motive?

Homicidal maniac. Stands out a mile.

Caroline Sterling - well, they may lots of women called Caroline, but only one who was involved with Blithe Spirit!

Sigh. Why do typos only show up as you press Post?

To get the cottage cheap off a grieving family?

Maybe she is in league with Justin? Both out to destroy ambridge - the scene father greatest unhappiness?

I wouldn't drink anything Carol gave me. Mind you I wouldn't get stuck in a room with her in the first place.

It serves the Dopeys right that people are cancelling their orders. Quite what did they expect once the news got out. They want to have their cake and eat it!

Just listening now. Jill's indigestion is definitely something sinister, you mark my words, David Archer.

Maybe it will just be a scare to make David realise he can't tear her away from ambridge and also make him realise how much he takes her for granted!!

They are going to have a tough time at the save meeting but if they don't go they are basically saying 'we have our £7.5 mill, nar nar ne nar nar, we don't sodding care if your village gets trashed by a big fuck off road because its not our village yet'

And then in a few months they'll be back tracking like crazy!!

Yes, BYOS has sussed out the motive (as well as Carol being a homicidal maniac). Carol is after Jill's worldly goods.

For evidence I offer - the curtains!