RnRN in up to date shocker!
iTunes teaser: Matt wakes up very uncomfortably and Brenda wakes up in a dream...yes this weeks episode potentially from the top infants class 'and then I woke up and it was all a dream and I was still an underpaid, over-qualified minion with horizons no broader than Felpersham'.
Matt mockneying and sounding rough with someone Russian - oy, I'm alright, nah nah, lemme go etc.
Orchestral sounds...smooching and canoodling Dimitri claiming its a lovely way to wake up. We'll assume his clock radio is tuned to Classic FM and not that they fell asleep in the orchestral pit at the Opera.
Matt hurls abuse at a Russian plod [sic] - he's had enough of Russia and wishes he'd never gone there. The Russians don't speak English but clearly understand it and are not impressed at this sleight. Sirens in the background.
CPP-Dimitri tells Brenda she's making a mistake, she's planning on calling Matt as she feels she'd better check in with him. CPP-D would rather stay in bed. Bren has multiple messages from AngryMatt explaining no Vitaly, no hotel, no credit cards and he's got nowhere to sleep. Bren calls him and gets voicemail. She frets, CPP-D suggests she has a shower and then they go to the hotel.
Whilst Bren showers, CPP-D makes a call - it's to Tatiana! Lots of Russian but Matt's name comes up and Crawford something...
Clanking (chains? keys? red hot pokers?) Matt's in custody and demanding to speak to a lawyer and the Embassy. Plodskis are having nothing of it and try to put him in a cell so Matt slings BFFV's name in thus proving he can be thick anywhere in the world...Sound of punching and Plodskis chuckle and amble off.
Brenda is greeted by a receptionist at the hotel who assumes she is there to collect her luggage. CPP-D asks some questions in Russian, they're told Matt has also been checked out 'a communication problem' and didn't stay there last night. Bren goes to get her case and CPP-D takes a phone call - Tatiana again, Matt's name mentioned but feck knows what they're saying. CPP-D says nyet at one point and then puts on his sunshine voice as Bren comes back. Bren realises something is up and they go to sit down.
CPP-D has news about Matt, CPP-D has a friend who is 'good at this sort of thing' and the good news is they know where Matt is but he's been arrested and he's in prison due to kicking up a fuss when he was taken to the station. He's in prison on the other side of town, it's a pretty awful prison and Matt's friends know he's there and they are organising his release. CPP-D suggests they leave it to these friends and go home.
Matt shouts questions about how long he'll be there, is someone from the Embassy coming. Tatiana appears thereby shocking the Crawfords off Tiger. Tatiana apologises for the unpleasantness he's experiencing in her country and she has papers for his release. All his stuff (including shoe laces) is in an envelope including the bank receipt! He signs and they go out to a waiting car.
Matt recounts his escapade - he got upset with a policeman after the cards were stopped and BFFV disappeared. Tatiana asks if he gave BFFV money and then changes the plan - they're off to see someone who will know exactly where BFFV is. Matt realises this is all just too odd and asks exactly who Tatiana is and why she got him out. Tatiana doesn't answer she's on the phone in Russian.
CPP-D hangs up a phone call and tells Bren Matt is out. Bren comments the friend must be very well connected and they hustle off on a motorbike to see Matt.
A touching reunion takes place at a location unknown, but it does have a huge drinks cabinet apparently, Matt thinks he's met CPP-D before; CPP-D excuses himself so Matt and Bren can catch up.
Vladdy arrives! Matt has no idea who he is - he introduces himself as MD of Kitroff Holdings and Chairman. Vitaly was also arrested and is also 'sadly in prison as we speak'.
Jingle jangle huh?!