Spoilers - RnRN accepts (and recaps) Amex so you don't have to!

[RocknRollNerd]

As requested by someone on the Lillian thread herewith a recap of yesterday's Amex:

We start off a presumably swish (but not in the Jennifer sense) Montenegrin hotel one bright sunny morning. Possibly Monday or Tuesday as there are references throughout to TigerLily coming home tomorrow (ie Wednesday in Borsetshire). Tiger is up for some early morning snuggles but Lil continues to work her Princess Di being interviewed by Martin Bashir sad-face voice and rebuffs him. Excuses offered include the fact she's no longer 21 and it's early in the morning. Matt harrumphs (hopefully not a metaphor) and Lil excuses herself to the bathroom.

Some discussion a bit later on as to plans for the day, Tiger bitching and whining about Lil's mood, Lil PrincessDi-s that she's sorry, isn't really up for anything etc. They agree on shopping in town to buy souvenirs for myriad posh (ie not married in via a Blacksmith) Archers. All listeners twitch slightly in anticipation of convincing 'we're actually on location as it's Summertime in Amex' accents.

But no! We find out that Lil has bought Peggy some Pomegranate stuff (she hopes Peggy likes it, which lets face it is unlikely unless it can be used to poison Kiera, feed to the cats or bake into some scones) and Jennifer will just have to settle for 'a purse' as Lil has lost her shopping Mojo.

Tiger wheedles that he wants to buy Lil some jewellery and we finally get our Borsetshire Casting Central (TM) accent from a shopkeeper - he could be supposed to be Montenegrin, he might have been already cast when this plot was supposed to take place in Turkey or he may in fact just have learned his accent whilst watching that Doctor Who episode set on a Russian Submarine...it's really very hard to tell. Matt proves he's losing his business mojo by getting a mere 50 Euro off a 600 Euro necklace. Shopkeepervich throws in some extra irony for free about how the necklace must be bought so Matt can keep his beautiful wife

Cut to plot exposition scene set in a church just in case anyone happens to listen to Amex and not the Archers (FFS!). Lil is interrupted by a British lady (who I swear sounds like Anita Dobson when she's reminding us she's not just Aaaaaaannnnnnggggge and is a proper fox-bothering actress and everything - sadly however it isn't Celia turning all Single White Female). British Lady has a Montenegrin son-in-law and SHOCK! Horror! Montenegrin grand-children. Lil cranks up the PrincessDi-ing and explains that she lost someone very close to her who she loved, can't see how she can go on, can't talk about it etc.

Matt is cross and phoning Lil as he can't find her but gets voicemail...Lil eventually appears from the church and Matt clocks she's been crying. He suggests lunch, Lil declines and Matt strops off.

Cut back to the hotel with very little time left of the pod-cast so Matt is forced to engineer The. Big. Denoument. They bicker about why Lil is unhappy, she plays the 'I stuck by you when you were in jail card' and PD's about how it's all about Matt never about her....Matt keeps manouevering and asks her to just be honest with him....Lil tries to be dodge it but there's no escaping it, with mere seconds to go Matt drops the bombshell: he knows she was screwing his brother, he knows she was seeing Paul!

jingley jangley music and that's it until Thursday folks!

(The above is Tuesday 9 July recap btw)

Thank you!

Another recap of genius

If word of this thread spreads abroad, RRN will be the only person in the world actually listening to Ambex

Is anyone confused about what they're effing doing with Amex and the normal Archers? I listened again to TA and got yesterdays' but it was Amex complete with music WTAF????

Thank you RnR. Brilliant!

That would be fab Grimma - do you think they would come and perform it in my study and pause as I type bits up!

I've noticed that on the Archers iTunes podcast, they've now started including Amex in the Archers downoad, as well as it's own separate subscription. Confused the hell out of me when it kicked in between Archers episodes in the car. I presume they're really pushing Amex onto the main audience but it does seem a bit underhand.

RnRN Do you think it might be in response to the negative reaction they're getting not only on here but on Feedback? If it is it shows they DO listen which is good!

Just heard they're talking about Amex on Feedback in half an hour on R4

Thanks... just caught your post in time to turn on Feedback.

I think if they want people to listen to Amex they should make it an alternate reality where Lizzie wakes up to find Nigel in the shower...

Here we go with Episode 4:

Brenda on the phone with Matt exclaiming 'St Petersburg!', Matt wants her out there as his PA so Brenda has to explain that she's quit Amside. Matt brushes it all aside and says it might work out better as she won't need to tell Lillian and can go out and help him.

Brenda gets told to hold as BFFV is at the door after his passport. Flunkski is made to wait outside whilst BFFV explains it's for Matt's visa, they're leaving tonight. They're flying on BFFVs private jet which I'm sorry but I will have to refer to as a private jetski from here on in (the gags sometimes just write themselves!). Matt blusters that flying commercial is such a chore and fools no-one listening.

Finally he clocks that most people can't rustle up a Russian visa with as few hours notice. But BFFV explains that they 'know the right people' and the visa is merely a formality; however he does need the passport now as he is not a 'magician' although I suspect he does know folks who do a nice sideline in persuasion involving hoods, knives, boxes etc! Flunkski is despatched to get the visa and told 'quickly' which is presumably code for 'pay double the bribe we normally do just get the damn visa'. BFFV's people will pack for Matt freeing Matt up to go and drink on the yacht before they leave for the airport.

Matt finishes his call to Brenda and tells her to forget Amside and get to St Petersburg. She should look up Kitroff Holdings to see how wealthy they are and Matt is expected to have a PA so she needs to come over. Brenda dithers as clearly she has lots to keep her in Ambridge at the moment with her lack of romance, cramped living conditions etc and Matt tells her to take some time but not too long.

On the yacht - much drinking of vodka going on. Matt mangles the Russian for cheers and tries to pin BFFV down to the details of what work he will be doing on the St BluePetersburg project. BFFV ducks and dives the questions and there is much tedious stuff where they both refuse to reveal what they earn/how much they want etc. BFFV promises details will be revealed in St P's and then grills Matt as to if he has wife, kids etc.

Exposition gives us that BFFV has a wife and cheeeldren that he meeeses and doesn't see enough. They live in France but MrsBFFV is actually ex-MrsBFFV. More exposition about the mini-BFFVs and how a 'man must be a man' and is a lion with many lionesses in his pride. It's all too tedious to recap but I think we're safe to assume that Brenda is soon going to be in the sights of BFFV. To remind us that this is part of the ongoing TigerLil story - Matt grumbles about how you can't trust people, shouldn't keep them close etc and tells BFFV about his half-brother who tried to take everything and yet Matt still feels guilty and that it was somehow his fault. More drinking and Matt asks about Tatiana and how she'd put lead in your pencil ; BFFV cracks that Matt's business partner was very beautiful and Matt says she was beautiful but it was all a long time ago and she's not up to much now. They toast leaving the past behind and to the future ahead and their success and I now need a drink as it was just so dull to listen to.

Matt is checking out and is gobsmacked at the size of the bill; he gets the Kitroff discount applied and the bill is still pretty high. Shrillian calls and tells him about Brenda; she's thrown slightly by the fact Matt knows; Shrillian pleads for him to come home and Matt suggests she gets a temp and he's too busy to worry about it.

On the private jetski: Brenda calls - she's sorting out a visa and can fly out but it will be via Copenhagen and Matt needs to cover her hotel there. Brenda flaps about what she needs to take in terms of laptop and clothes - does she need to dress up for 'posh do's'. BFFV is exhorting Matt to drink more and he hustles Brenda off the call.

The 14 mins are up, the jingle jangles play and I wonder why the fuck they needed that long for something that could be summarised as: Matt is going to St P's, BFFV clearly has 'connections' and is being shady about what he wants Matt to do and how much he'll pay him and Brenda is also going to be joining them and apparently it was important we knew she was going via Denmark and would be staying overnight.

Fab synopsis, am definitely moving no the " you listen so we'd don't have to" camp. however I came on to post about Feedback, having just Listened Again" to it. That Jeremy bloke was a slime ball with all his fuckwittish " I really don't want to upset Archers listeners because The Archers is SUCH a great show". It 's not a " show", it's a programme or maybe even a serial. Sod off with your americanisms Jeremy. I bet you have barely ever listened to TA and would be hard pressed to tell Jack Woolley from Jack McCreary.

Yeah I thought Jeremy had missed his calling as a slimey politician. It was just so dismissive of everyone. On the plus side I did clean the kitchen whilst listening so it wasn't all in vain .

I'm worried now, if you're all giving AmEx up and relying on my synopses does that mean R4 will hunt me down and make me stop!

Brilliant summary - but not as good as Mike's parting line tonight. Which I now can't remember but along the lines of 'Matt Crawford or Russia would be bad enough but both together...

Oh dear. Poor Brenda's in for a rough time, isn't she?

Yes poor Mike. How old is Brenda? 30? And still causing him sleepless nights.

Yes that Spokesman Jeremy and the spokeswoman seem IMO too young as you say Jessie I don't reckon either of them 'd know old Dan Archer was any different to young Daniel. They've still got poor old Jack on ice FGS!!!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou RnRN

Superb recaps - and much more entertaining than listening, I'm sure (although would quite like to hear Tatianoline).

Sooooo... hostage situation, do we think? Oooh - maybe Tom will get to find out (panicked call from Bren) and sell Bridge Farm out from under Pat'n'Moany tomget the ransom, then set off to StPburg to save her? Then he can be captured too, then Hellin will set off to save him, get captured herself and so on and so on until the whole of Ambridge is transplanted to Kazakhstan, or possibly Siberia?

Lol - cheesequeen goes to rescue Brenda. Doesn't return. No one cares. Perfect.

Who needs hostages? They had his passport for several hours - and they have his pin number.....

I will be furious (again) if they let this go - as they did with Paul's family and the non-event funeral.

RnRN Loving your recaps, even though I'm listening. I do hope this isn't taking up too much of your time?

Lurking as have caught up now
NB I love AmEx

Sorry

I don't mind it olivia it's just a bit annoying having to go away from the 'normal' radio to get it and there does seem a lot of padding in it esp. in this one, I suppose to set the scene for Matt's eventually becoming an inmate in a Russian jail!! (hopefully just Matt not Brenda!).

SO need a Russian translator RIGHT NOW!

Hustle comes to The Archers :o
Is Matt really this naive? Another character being rewritten I think.... Mind you, they always said in Hustle that you can't con an honest guy.

I'm going to have some fun with Google Translate...

Какое невероятное поворот событий

what an unbelievable turn of events

Ah bugger

Just listening to Tuesday's episode of Ambex - it's making me cringe...