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Original poster

Snubbed at work for being a cash buyer

114 replies

OhEmGee24 · 09/10/2012 12:15

Am I pathetic that this bothers me? Dp and I are extremely fortunate in that both of our parents have helped us to buy our first home outright. We ourselves aren't loaded at all. I deliberately kept that detail quiet but accidentally let slip when mortgages came up in conversation. Now I'm getting cutting comments like "drinks are on you, you're rich", and "ooo bet you're gonna have diamond chandeliers in your house". We are in an area where house prices are high and we we are only young but it's made me dread going into work. :-(

OP posts:

nocake · 09/10/2012 12:21

It sounds like the sort of good natured ribbing that we give, and get, at work rather than something malicious. You need to go in with your head held high and some witty retorts...

I would buy the drinks but we spent everything on the house so it's bread and water for the next 10 years.

Diamond is soooo last year...

herhonesty · 09/10/2012 12:33

i find it hard to sympathise. not sure what sort of reaction you could have hoped for. sort of your fault for letting it slip really but agree with nocake that your only options are to a) suck it up and ignfore or b) hold head up high and take the P+ss in return. i.e. "yes, unfortunately, we've only got two acres. i dont know how we're going to cope with such a small garden"

typicalvirgo · 09/10/2012 12:39

Oh dear... well now you know.

Never, ever,EVER talk about money with work colleagues.

It wont stop until you leave

But you know that now - right ?

YokoOhNo · 09/10/2012 13:06

Let me see....you are young, you live in an area with high house prices and your respective parents have clubbed together so as you can live mortgage free. You are very, very lucky.

Expect some resentment that you don't have to fork out anything for rent or a mortgage if you let that little detail slip. We are in a deep recession - lots of people are struggling to pay everyday bills, so I'd consider you fairly rich and entitled if you announced that you are not forking out any of your salary in housing costs.

Lulabellarama · 09/10/2012 13:45

I'm not sure you'll get much sympathy here. Can't see why you need any.

Original poster

OhEmGee24 · 09/10/2012 13:47

I'd never be crass in the same way. I don't see why people can't just keep their own opinions to themselves and just be happy for each other.

OP posts:

Caerlaverock · 09/10/2012 13:48

Boohoo

ShatnersBassoon · 09/10/2012 13:48

Snubbed? Ha!

Timetoask · 09/10/2012 13:48

can you say a "white lie" and tell people that you are buying without a mortgage, but still need to repay your parents??

Labootin · 09/10/2012 13:51

Ha ha at boo hoo

OP tbh starting a thread with the starting question am I pathetic ? And then whingeing about a free house was never going to get you high up on the sympathy stakes.

Labootin · 09/10/2012 13:52

Oh and I've been a cash buyer .. But I'd earned that money ..so yay me for the bragging rights.. I should have started a thread ...

TunipTheVegemal · 09/10/2012 13:55

I don't see why that makes OP 'entitled' Yoko. Lucky, yes, but she hasn't said anything to suggest she thinks it's only what she deserves.

OP, if this is good natured ribbing you need to suck it up. Nothing you've quoted sounds particularly unpleasant to me. If, on the other hand, it really is ill-natured bullying then they can't be very nice people anyway and you should probably be looking for another job.

My colleagues used to take the piss out of me for having an au pair but I don't think anything particularly personal was meant, any more than the pisstaking of my boss for having a second home, someone else for a designer handbag, etc.

YokoOhNo · 09/10/2012 13:56

am I the only one who is that both sets of parents simply bought you a house outright, even if they have pots of money. I know parents help their offspring on to the property ladder, but don't they believe in letting you take fanancial responsibility for paying your own housing costs?

Do they still pay the credits on your mobile?

pinkdelight · 09/10/2012 13:58

You just sound even more remote from reality if you expect people to be happy for you that you've leapfrogged all the shit that practically everyone else deals with for most of their lives. Perhaps you should refuse the help from your folks, try to make your own way in the world and then you might start to understand.

YokoOhNo · 09/10/2012 13:58

turnip - just me and my prejudices, I'm afraid. If someone told me that their parents simply bought them a house outright in a smart area, when both partners were salaried, I would assume a silver spoon/birth/oral connection

AMumInScotland · 09/10/2012 14:01

It depends if it's a bit of good-natured banter, or if you are really being bullied and "snubbed". Tbh if I knew someone in your situation, I'd probably end up making a few comments, as your disposable income must be way higher than most people's. So, yes, comments about chandeliers and it being your round.

What do you expect from people? Never to mention it again?

Floggingmolly · 09/10/2012 14:01

I'd never be crass in the same way
You've already been crass in letting tht little detail "slip".

Viviennemary · 09/10/2012 14:01

Oh dear. Well I can think of worse problems to have.

lljkk · 09/10/2012 14:02

yanbu, but I have no idea how you get past the petty jealousy of others. Lesson learnt to never talk about money except with closest friends. And remember if you ever become friends with someone who is filthy rich, to set a better standard by showing no envy yourself.

There will always be people who have much less or much more than you. DH's boss sends his 3 kids to expensive private schools, does that mean we can never be friendly? I had coffee today with a friend who gets by on a family income far below the official poverty line. It's not an issue because we choose not to make it an issue.

SecondRow · 09/10/2012 14:04

We ourselves aren't loaded at all
Sorry OP but this gives an indication of why you aren't endearing yourself to your workmates. Surely you can see that even if you are perhaps not high earners, you must have a pretty big chunk more disposable income than your workmates because you are not paying a rent or mortgage? Relatively speaking, you kind of are loaded!

crazygracieuk · 09/10/2012 14:05

Oops... You'd have the piss taken out of you in most workplaces for that. I'm in my mid 30s and never met anyone the same age who's mortgage free.
I think you should suck it up and be known as Mortgage Free/Cash Rich or make up some sort of financial disaster (oh getting redundant? parent's needing to use money on something else?) which means that you need to get a big mortgage like the rest of us.

madwomanintheattic · 09/10/2012 14:06

I can't even imagine why you felt the need to tell everyone at work... Letting slip something like that is asking for the ribbing.

Not sure why you aren't offering to buy the drinks, either. You are considerably better off than every single working person I know, will be so for the rest of your lives, and haven't lifted a finger to get that way. You should be sharing the joy. I don't think you grasp exactly how much your parents have done for you with this. It has completely changed your life and removed that sense of obligation and responsibility that your peer group shares. It has removed you from their reality.

You know that like begets like, anyway, just call them paupers when they start on.

Original poster

OhEmGee24 · 09/10/2012 14:06

I understand I've caused myself this issue but I don't see how different levels of wealth should account for targeting. I couldn't give a crap what anyone else's financial status is!

OP posts:

LonelyCloud · 09/10/2012 14:08

Your colleagues are probably a bit jealous of your good fortune, which is understandable, given how difficult most people find it to get the money together for a house.

I agree that your only options are to suck it up or take the piss back. And try to avoid talking about your finances with your colleagues in the future.

ShatnersBassoon · 09/10/2012 14:09

Have you never been teased at work before? Never joined in the teasing of others? Offices banter is so commonplace, it would be strange if this is something new to you.

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