Snubbed at work for being a cash buyer

[OhEmGee24]

Am I pathetic that this bothers me? Dp and I are extremely fortunate in that both of our parents have helped us to buy our first home outright. We ourselves aren't loaded at all. I deliberately kept that detail quiet but accidentally let slip when mortgages came up in conversation. Now I'm getting cutting comments like "drinks are on you, you're rich", and "ooo bet you're gonna have diamond chandeliers in your house". We are in an area where house prices are high and we we are only young but it's made me dread going into work. :-(

You couldn't give a crap what other people's financial situation is because you are sitting pretty, living mortgage free in (presumably) your twenties and don't have to worry where the money to pay for your next Ocado shop is coming from. You get to live in a lovelybarea on a modest salary and have plenty disposable income. It's jealousy, yes, but not everyone will share your wide eyed insouciance

"I couldn't give a crap what anyone else's financial status is!" Do you think that might be because you don't need to worry about money?

Sorry, but YABso totallyU. Of course people are jealous. And of course you are well off. A mortgage takes up most of many people's salary. If you are working with no mortgage (especially in a nice are) you are very well off.

I couldn't give a crap what anyone else's financial status is! Clearly! If you had more empathy with other people's situations, you might have managed the way they heard about your good fortune differently, and in turn they might have reacted differently to hearing it. But if all you have to worry you is a bit of banter, as against their rising interest rates/negative equity/insecure tenancy/fear of never getting on the ladder, then, well, you're still better off aren't you? So best just to brush it off and rise above it.

if you really dont see why you have been "targeted" for a pisstake then you are spectacularly naive.

Maybe you don't care about other people's financial status because money isn't a big deal to you (because you haven't got a mortgage etc). It's a very big deal to a lot of people, hence the bad feeling due to your remarks at work. The fact that you feel the need to come on here and bleat about it all kind of shows how the situation might have arisen in the first place....

Why not try using an online mortgage calculator to see how much of your income would be swallowed up if you had a mortgage on your property.

And then try ,try really, really hard, to imagine that most of your colleagues are dealing with that amount of debt each and every month. And those who dont have a mortgage will have to fork out similar amounts in rent without the 'prize' of a saleable property at the end.

Still don't think you were crass to 'let it slip' ?

Maybe this should be relocated to Am I Being Unreasonable. I'm afraid you are about to get a lot of YABU.

Also, if your posts reflect your interpersonal skills at work, I'm not surprised that your are attracting comments from colleagues

I've said on here I recognise my fault already! NONE of my colleagues are in rented accommodation, several have designer handbags and sports cars but I've never felt the need to say "oo your car's worth 30k, you should buy the drinks". Anyway I'm sorry if I've offended anyone I genuinely didn't mean to.

I don't have a mortgage (but I am old !) but if such a conversation came up with people I would NEVER EVER stand there and say I didn't have one.

What if you were talking to someone who was seriously ill? Would you boast about your own good health? Or if someone's child was struggling at school? Would you tell them how yours was gifted & talented?

You spoke out of turn and will have to live with work colleagues' sarky comments now.

"several have designer handbags and sports cars but I've never felt the need to say "oo your car's worth 30k, you should buy the drinks"

but presumably they're paying for the car?

sounds like you're in a pretty well-paid line of work too. this is truly nauseating. but it helps me understand why the people who run this country are so out of touch. oh do stop being crass you people, let's just be happy for each other, yah?

pinkdelight

Sorry you're getting such a hard time on this thread, OP. :(
I'm hiding it now for my own sanity.

Not sure how you let that kind of information 'slip' but you will get a hard time from your colleagues. And you can never complain about being skint before payday or not having enough to chip in to a collection for someone's birthday again.

I wish I had the same 'problem' as the OP...

I guess she was supposed to lie when the subject of mortgages came up?
OP - YWVU to bother coming on here to share. Lessons learnt all round

You don't have to lie, mylovelymonster

Just don't join in the conversation, and if asked directly, say that your finances are private and you're not going to discuss them.

I apologise. I shall of course defer to your advice in all cases. Didn't realise there were rules.

Most cars are bought on finance deals where you're paying for them for a couple of years anyway. It's a bit like a mini mortgage in some ways.

Bullies cunts?

Heavens to betsey I am not a member of a quiche

(it's far too common)