Snubbed at work for being a cash buyer

[OhEmGee24]

Am I pathetic that this bothers me? Dp and I are extremely fortunate in that both of our parents have helped us to buy our first home outright. We ourselves aren't loaded at all. I deliberately kept that detail quiet but accidentally let slip when mortgages came up in conversation. Now I'm getting cutting comments like "drinks are on you, you're rich", and "ooo bet you're gonna have diamond chandeliers in your house". We are in an area where house prices are high and we we are only young but it's made me dread going into work. :-(

I once did a massive wind up with someone at work because he was quizzing (quite rudely actually) me as to how I could afford to buy a flat (bloody long years saving, selling up in profit after 8 long years in negative equity, cashing in investments and buying a dump that needed loads of work).

I told him that my real name was actually XXX, and that I was an heiress of a large firm 'back home' and that I didn't really need to work - I just did because I loved my job (oh come on, he knew I hated it to death). It kept me amused for quite a few days before I told him it was a wind up, stupid. People act in work in ways that they just wouldn't in 'real life'.

Live and learn - don't spill too many personal beans and learn to give nothing away.

And now I'm going to ask for my post to be deleted because as usual I've been too honest and open!

party at yours then

and yes. I'm like that. Ask and I shall tell. It drives my husband bonkers as he operates on a Need To Know basis, has no problem refusing to answer questions and gets very frustrated when I bleat "but they asked me..."

I, otoh, think if you tell the truth then you never have to try to remember the lies.

larrygrylls - you finished my sentence perfectly :)

I don't get it - why should OP feel guilty or lie, if the parents offered to buy? would any of the jealous posters on here say 'no' if they were offered the same, or won the lottery? if not, then it's hypocritical!

she hasn't robbed anyone! They both work. It's completely different from spoilt rich kids who never even work (plenty of those in London) or get cushy jobs thanks to parents. She obviously works for a company full of people with own homes, flashy cars etc, so it's hardly the case that she let the info slip to the low-earners.

OP, I don't think they are malicious at work, a bit jealous maybe but they'll get over it.

Jealousy IS extremely bad - people rarely have everything going smoothly in their lives, if they are lucky with money they may have lots of other issues, including health problems, be unlucky in love, etc...while people who are poorer (I'm not talking of seriously poor) on paper may be blessed with healthy kids/nice partner/friends, so being jealous is just very very wrong!

I never discuss money, religion or politics in anything but the most general terms. In rl or on here. All three bring out the most awful side of some people as this thread shows.

"I don't get it - why should OP feel guilty or lie"

Well, look what telling the truth gets you! It's about self - preservation.

Would you want to deal with the reaction she got? When you know how people can be, then it makes sense to avoid having to deal with that. People can be so mean when they're jealous.

Its office life, people, not real life!

The normal rules of behaviour don't seem to apply in the office environment - back stabbing, boss shagging, gossiping, empire building and character assasination. Don't you watch The Apprentice?

I am surprised at the response to this thread.

People seem so bitter!

Jealousy is a very ugly trait. We have friends whose parents have paid off their mortgages. I'm not jealous of them, I'm happy for them.
I wouldn't buy your colleagues a round of drinks op. Why should you? Doesn't sound like you like them that much anyway. And I'm sure your families didn't pay off your mortgage so that you could stand your colleagues a round of drinks. I'd just ignore the comments and smile sweetly. And remember in future to keep your finances to yourself.

I think that people are very bitter at the moment - with the old double- (or is it triple-) dip recession now, everyone is counting the pennies and worrying about paying the bills. This is the worst financial period I have even known.

I don't know many people who have not come throught this last economic sicky patch unscathed. So yes, people will have the green eyed monster, but its very bad form to make it into a joke (or rather bully someone) if this is the case.

My work colleagues know that we bought our £340k house outright (they don't know it cost that, but it's not hard to guess as it's an estate house and there are quite a few with the same basic layout, room number, plot size etc). I confess I let it 'slip', when once asked, as I was getting a bit pissed off at being a bit patronised by some of my colleagues (I'm an HCP in a hierarchical NHS workplace) about how hard it must be these days to pay a mortgage on your income.... Whilst the topic of my unguessed at 'wealth' hardly takes centre stage on a day to day basis, I have found a new- I could almost say 'respect'- from a couple of them who have obviously mentally upgraded their assessment of my 'credit rating' which I think is quite funny.

Incidentally we are in this position not really through just good fortune (though in everybody's life, this has to play a part, even if only 'right place/right time) or handouts but because DH prioritised buying his own flat so when I met him, with my own not insignificant savings, we managed to pay the mortgage on our first joint home off in 7 years (in Australia) using a revolving line of credit/offset mortgage. So we sold that and bought here.

Oh, and we are both knocking 50!

Don't they know any Asians, Greeks or Arabs? It is very common in many cultures. In Dh's family we are the ones with no help, the rest had houses bought for them by their parents, some of them one or two from each side. It doesn't bother me at all, i don't do jelousy.

Also, i believe that there is no such thing as 'free meal', often the present comes with control and i wouldn't fancy that. Your friends sound childish imo. Ignore them and enjoy your good fortune.