Snubbed at work for being a cash buyer

[OhEmGee24]

Am I pathetic that this bothers me? Dp and I are extremely fortunate in that both of our parents have helped us to buy our first home outright. We ourselves aren't loaded at all. I deliberately kept that detail quiet but accidentally let slip when mortgages came up in conversation. Now I'm getting cutting comments like "drinks are on you, you're rich", and "ooo bet you're gonna have diamond chandeliers in your house". We are in an area where house prices are high and we we are only young but it's made me dread going into work. :-(

Arf at bully cunts, by the way. Its like an angry 4 year old going 'you...you... YOU ARE A POO BUM HEAD!'

OP, you are in the fortunate position of not having to worry about money. I'm sure you realise what a rare thing it is to be given a house.

That being the case, if you want to "fit in" at work (as seems to be the case), you might have done better to make out that you are paying for the house. If one of my colleagues breezed in tomorrow saying they'd won the lottery, paid off all their debts and their mortgage, I suspect there might be some jealousy!

This is why naice English people never, ever discuss money.

However, you could adopt the view of someone I used to work with, who always used to declare "I don't go to work to be liked, I go there to work"!

Charley,

I was not suggesting at her house. Inviting all your colleagues to your house is always risky and, unless you are on really good terms, inadvisable. I was suggesting at a local bar; card behind the bar with a limit on it so people buy their own drinks once the limit is reached.

Always done it, always really appreciated, especially by those on not too much money.

And no, I'm not mortgage free, unless "will never have a cat in hells chance of getting a mortgage" means mortgage free!

So because OP is in a fortunate position of not having a mortgage she should take shit from her work colleagues and you lot!

OP ignore them and be thankful your parents were able to help you. We got help from our parents, not much but it was the little bit extra we needed. If they'd offered to pay for the entire house I would have let them...as would I'm sure most poster's on here would have.

Learn your lesson though, and don't talk about money with your work colleagues (or MN!)

What larks I've been deleted .. What on earth did I say? I'm sure I wasn't a jealous spiteful little Wanker ( I did point out and have not had my round of applause for making my own money ..stamps foot)

Irrc I queried if this thread was a wind up as the OP was being crass ...

Is calling an OP crass a deleting offence ?

(she started it ... )

It's very petty of them. It's mean spirited to resent people for having some good fortune.

There's no need for anyone to be making snide comments just because someone has had a lucky break.

If you can, just let it wash over you and hopefully they'll get over themselves.

Or make jokes too. Oh yes, we do, and it takes the butler hours to dust them.

Or say look, I'm getting a bit tired of this. We are very fortunate and we appreciate it, but there's no need for comments like this.

tbh, things like this can sometimes reach a point where they become actual workplace bullying and if you feel at any point that it has become that, then it would be time to complain.

You got help from your parents. That doesn't give people the right to be snotty or snide.

Not jealous. But i am thinking about the number of times in 15years of having one I've discussed my mortgage. I conclude its probably once a year, if that.

Also, given I realise people are touchy about his sort of thing, I tend to downplay its very small size.

So I'm baffled how you can "let slip" the fact you've got no mortgage whatever because your Olds have coughed up.

Oh I can. I'm a terrible liar and a splutterer

mortgage talk
mine's so expensive
interest rate talk
provider talk
so, who's yours with?
me er with um, well, I

People do ask the most intrusive questions and if you're not ready for them, you can get really, really stuck and end up blurting out all sorts. Including, perhaps, not having one at all.

Then of course, they want to know why. And your choices are "It's none of your business" or telling them. And people get nasty about being told to mind their own! So you end up copping it either way.

Oh, I am just talking generally. I don't even owe the bank for my house, fraid I'm in a little HA property. I'm just using it as an example.

Jealousy is a very ugly trait isn't it?

I don't understand jealousy actually.

I know lots of people who are mortgage free because they are middle aged and have paid it off. I don't see that as boasting, merely a reflection of what stage of life you are at.

Fucking hell Hectate, you wouldn't stand up to questioning of your lunch order let alone torture

Ok, well OP I suggest that for the future you have some sort of distraction technique ready look, a golden eagle if you can't avoid the question.

I know, I know.

I crumble under pressure! I can never think of a lie fast enough.

Four hours later I'll be there slapping my forehead and going "I should have said..."

So I can understand if the OP found herself in a bit of a pickle

Why should you need to lie? It's a fact not a boast.

If your comeback so far has been along the lines of "But we're not loaded" and "But you've got an expensive car!" then I can see why you're getting ribbed TBH. Envy is certainly a nasty thing to indulge, but it sounds like at least some of it is incredulity at your naivety. Ditch that and I should think you'll ditch the comments (or at least any people still doing it will stand out as proper wankers).

I don't have much to add other than this thread has kept me occupied for the afternoon. I have a big mortgage, big house (my fault) and am aiming for a smaller house (and mortgage) in order to have more disposable income. You are very lucky and other people are jealous it's human nature.

that was a bit stupid, wasn't it?

@ Hectate

Op, i didn't really marry my money. But that's what some losers people at work decided so I just let them think it. The reality was much less exciting.

I totally understand OP, my in-laws bought DH a flat to get him on the property market before I met him. Their deal was that they would provide the money & some guidance but that all the actual organisation was up to him - quite a big responsibility for a 19 year old I think! I always felt guilty when people assumed we rented it & asked questions! I'd feel obliged to tell them the truth & feel really awkward about it! I don't feel quite so bad now that we've got a mortgage since we bought a house!
I think it's ridiculous though that other people should make us feel guilty for having people in our lives who are willing & able to help us get started! It's not like I'm from a particularly affluent background - there's no way my parents would have been able to help us at all! I just happened to marry someone who's parents have worked hard & saved up! I'm incredibly grateful that they chose to use their hard-earned money to help but why on earth should I feel bad about it?! It's not like I've done anything shady to get the money!

"You are very lucky and other people are jealous it's human nature. "

It is human nature to feel jealousy. To openly show it is ill mannered and childish.