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Private school

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Would private schools expect us to remortgage before offering a bursary?

275 replies

Tootandcomeinagain · 02/06/2026 09:48

Hi - seen a lot here about bursaries and wondered if anyone has remortgaged for school fees - we live in a 700K home (all paid off) in London. Salaries 90K gross. Potential school fees are 12K a term so 72K a year for 2. Would we qualify for a part bursary or would we be expected to remortgage? Do they look at the home first? Id be interested in any bursar views as there have been a few posting?

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Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:22

AntediluvianViews · 23/07/2026 18:57

Private schools are not full of the wealthy, only in London. They’re full of those who cannot afford it but want their kids in uniform. Same social standing as local state families of professional background. The small handful of wealthy at any independent school (outside of the capital) end up subsidising everyone else. When they get sick of doing so or the school fails to meet the standards the child is accustomed to (at home) they move them to London or European boarding.

This thread and the bursary (non means tested bursary/ staff/ friend /discount) are exactly why Independent schools fail. Living beyond their means and beyond budget.

If I walk into a Ferrari dealership and the staff all receive 50, 80, 100% discount do you think (to me) that Ferrari is prestigious or desirable? If you want to charge me an additional 20% plus 5-8% annually on top of point of sale for-them to keep their staff perks, Do you think I’m buying that Ferrari? The Ferrari becomes a Nissan, anyone can have it.

So many threads on state school families happy about the levelling up independent/state but the reality is there is very little difference! Consider this thread a prime example of the bursaries and discounts requested daily. How long do you think the full-fee-payers will stick around?….

Don’t forget .
1: foreign
2: grandparent wana spend cash avoid inheritance
3: company pays as relocation package .

and yes I am sick of doing charity for people who can get bursary !
how to avoid it ?
London zone 1 boarding school ? Or London zone 5 boarding school ?
I want to make sure no one can get £1 out of my wallet

Besafeeatcake · 23/07/2026 21:44

BayesLemon · 02/06/2026 12:48

That is your perspective - not everyone thinks the same way.

Personally, I value the journey over the destination. To me, "setting my child up for life at 18" means giving them an education that enables them to develop their talents and abilities and grow into the best version of themselves so that they have knowledge, skills and ambition to take into adult life, not just handing them a pile of money.

We chose to remortgage to take up a bursary offer, not because we assumed it would "buy" better grades, university entry, or wealthy contacts, but because we knew it would give our DC academic and extracurricular opportunities that mattered to them that were simply not available in the state sector. Yes, that means we are not in as good a financial position as we might otherwise have been. Yes, the annual financial scrutiny of bursary renewal is anxiety-provoking and intrusive. No, I don't regret our decision for a moment.

‘would give our DC academic and extracurricular opportunities that mattered to them that were simply not available in the state sector’

Your state maybe - not ours and not all
of thrm. Ours had over 80 clubs, Astro, full fitness center, new theatre, recording studio, many foreign trips - Europe, South America etc. Handful of kids are elite athletes competing at the highest level. Many have gone to Russell grouo. Grades are better at state than both the three private schools local to us and grannar just over the county border.

I wouldn’t waste the money at private (having been to both) Unkess your local is poor.

We had amazing family adventures and holidays.

People think private is better and it often isn’t. It’s more a feeling that it is.

We have family who sent their kids to very expensive private schools who didn’t do well academically. A colleague sent hers to a very expensive top private where her son did really well but wanted to be a physio. Nothing wrong with that but didn’t need an expensive education to become one.

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:46

Wow physio is no good in U.K. ??????

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:49

my kid loves stem .
i done my research I can’t find labs in the best U.K. performing state . Only best inde.

if my kids do humanity . Then yes state .
but stem needs gloves and glasses … etc etc equipment … cars .. planes …. Etc

Cityslickers · 23/07/2026 21:56

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:49

my kid loves stem .
i done my research I can’t find labs in the best U.K. performing state . Only best inde.

if my kids do humanity . Then yes state .
but stem needs gloves and glasses … etc etc equipment … cars .. planes …. Etc

All state schools offer science. Secondary schools have labs. Primary schools generally do not have labs. I wasn’t aware that private schools would offer cars, planes etc.

Physio is a good job but not one that you ‘need’ to be privately educated to get into.

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:59

I see what u mean : physio can be done via NHS route .

so why people pay money to go to Epsom college ? To avoid NHS route ?
but why ?

AntediluvianViews · 23/07/2026 22:05

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:49

my kid loves stem .
i done my research I can’t find labs in the best U.K. performing state . Only best inde.

if my kids do humanity . Then yes state .
but stem needs gloves and glasses … etc etc equipment … cars .. planes …. Etc

If you’re in a top tier London Inde

Congratulations bragging rights. Big, rich and abundant. Value for money. ROI.

Outside of London, you are literally paying for the upkeep of the school building, the utility bills, staff wages, your full fees for your kids, your 20% VAT tax, Half the fee for all the staff kids and bursaries ‘discounts’ hidden in financial annual reports plus The staff VAT (hardship funds) they can’t afford.

Outside of London everything you are paying, remortgaging for! you can get for free at a good state. FREE!

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:14

AntediluvianViews · 23/07/2026 22:05

If you’re in a top tier London Inde

Congratulations bragging rights. Big, rich and abundant. Value for money. ROI.

Outside of London, you are literally paying for the upkeep of the school building, the utility bills, staff wages, your full fees for your kids, your 20% VAT tax, Half the fee for all the staff kids and bursaries ‘discounts’ hidden in financial annual reports plus The staff VAT (hardship funds) they can’t afford.

Outside of London everything you are paying, remortgaging for! you can get for free at a good state. FREE!

Edited

Thanks so much.

that is why I only applied top 3 London day.

if failed : state .

tough life

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:16

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:22

Don’t forget .
1: foreign
2: grandparent wana spend cash avoid inheritance
3: company pays as relocation package .

and yes I am sick of doing charity for people who can get bursary !
how to avoid it ?
London zone 1 boarding school ? Or London zone 5 boarding school ?
I want to make sure no one can get £1 out of my wallet

And
4: council using your tax money to pay for all the SEN kids in private schools

Gengha · 23/07/2026 22:21

Just send them to a state school, taking out a mortgage on a fully paid off house for school fees is nuts.

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:25

Gengha · 23/07/2026 22:21

Just send them to a state school, taking out a mortgage on a fully paid off house for school fees is nuts.

Maybe you never experienced state schools . We experienced best state in richest neighbourhood …. still ……….. kid punch female teacher tummy

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:26

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:16

And
4: council using your tax money to pay for all the SEN kids in private schools

And
5:
people need a student visa to enter U.K.
boarding school offer is their ticket . (Age 13-18 )

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:28

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:25

Maybe you never experienced state schools . We experienced best state in richest neighbourhood …. still ……….. kid punch female teacher tummy

And saw some state school put local into 1 class . None local into another class .

in the end I chose to pay to not witness those things in 2026 in London .

and pay to avoid those mums whose mouth full of F words .

BringBackCatsEyes · 23/07/2026 22:31

Tootandcomeinagain · 15/06/2026 16:10

@fartotheleftside we bought 25 years ago and ploughed every penny to paying it off.

You obviously feel very strongly about private school.
To have lived so frugally and to be willing to continue to do so for the foreseeable future seems a bit joyless and hard.

Funchythesnowwoman · 23/07/2026 22:32

@Ayaboo
Are you aware of the incident in Blundell’s School in Tiverton in 2023? A boarding student was convicted of the attempted murder of 2 other students and a teacher when he attacked them with a hammer.
Violence against teachers and other students is not just the preserve of state schools.

MonGrainDeSel · 23/07/2026 22:33

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:22

Don’t forget .
1: foreign
2: grandparent wana spend cash avoid inheritance
3: company pays as relocation package .

and yes I am sick of doing charity for people who can get bursary !
how to avoid it ?
London zone 1 boarding school ? Or London zone 5 boarding school ?
I want to make sure no one can get £1 out of my wallet

You sound absolutely horrible.

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:34

Funchythesnowwoman · 23/07/2026 22:32

@Ayaboo
Are you aware of the incident in Blundell’s School in Tiverton in 2023? A boarding student was convicted of the attempted murder of 2 other students and a teacher when he attacked them with a hammer.
Violence against teachers and other students is not just the preserve of state schools.

Day school only then .
-any incidents ?

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:36

Maybe the highly acsdemic ones
not the bored and violent ones .
inde day acsdemic .
too busy to be violent ?

MonGrainDeSel · 23/07/2026 22:36

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 21:18

That’s why I avoid Westminster and latymer upper .

if I can’t get a bursary . Then I won’t attend those type to help others .

This is really stupid. Of all the schools you could have picked these are two that have large endowments and won't be expecting current parents to pick up the bill for bursary students. Not to mention, if you're avoiding two of the top schools in the country you are only doing yourself harm, not harming the schools which will have plenty of clever kids delighted to attend.

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:36

MonGrainDeSel · 23/07/2026 22:33

You sound absolutely horrible.

Horrible for what? Not living a life above my means at other peoples cost ?

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:38

MonGrainDeSel · 23/07/2026 22:36

This is really stupid. Of all the schools you could have picked these are two that have large endowments and won't be expecting current parents to pick up the bill for bursary students. Not to mention, if you're avoiding two of the top schools in the country you are only doing yourself harm, not harming the schools which will have plenty of clever kids delighted to attend.

Pay to avoid mums like to use vocabulary alike F and S

MonGrainDeSel · 23/07/2026 22:39

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:36

Horrible for what? Not living a life above my means at other peoples cost ?

If the life is above your means, don't apply. Many parents at top schools are generous enough to realise that having very bright bursary students benefits their own kids as well. You clearly don't understand how any of this works, having ruled out two schools where the bursary funds are not coming from fees.

MonGrainDeSel · 23/07/2026 22:40

Ayaboo · 23/07/2026 22:38

Pay to avoid mums like to use vocabulary alike F and S

You're a twit. Bring up your own kids to behave well. Don't rely on any school to do it for you.

MonGrainDeSel · 23/07/2026 22:42

I want to make sure no one can get £1 out of my wallet

This in particular is genuinely disgusting as an attitude. I don't think your kids will fit in well to any UK school if this is how you've brought them up.

ElizaMulvil · 23/07/2026 22:57

Diamond7272 · 02/06/2026 11:35

What an astonishing waste of money...

You can't afford it, even with a bursary. It will hugely upend your life, and your children will enter uni and home ownership stages with parents who are just 'getting by', when their peers are bought homes for wedding presents. It happens. A lot.

I'd save and set them up for life at 18...

I wouldn't waste it on a private school education which employers increasingly see as an unfair advantage, even university admission depts, when, you haven't got the money for the real 'leg up' which the privileged increasingly rely on to get ahead of their peers... Uni without loans and a home without decades of saving, often missing the boat.

Private schools are a mixed bag anyway. They are only as good as their staff, especially class teachers, and they are chopping and changing more than ever now due to low salaries and staff retention problems... Easy to get a 'dud' class teacher for private money... When you could have got a superstar nqt in a state school for free...

What I'm saying is the high fees guarantee less and less these days. Loads of bullying still in private schools, lots of unhappy, lonely children. Don't be fooled by the flashy astro pitch and frilly headmasters wife... Doesn't mean a thing!

Exactly. State primaries in London are usually excellent. Graded 'outstanding ' by Ofsted. Incidentally research done by UCL etc suggests that A level results are ( maybe) at most half a grade lower at state v private schools. But more importantly Comprehensive schools do better for lower ability students than Secondary Mods.and Comprehensive school students do better grade for grade, at A level, than private at both undergraduate and post graduate levels. Why pay a fortune for what may well prove an inferior education? Not to mention the great educational avantages in learning about the lives of students less well off than yourself. Many professions would consider this an advantage too, think medicine, law etc.

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