Would private schools expect us to remortgage before offering a bursary?

[Tootandcomeinagain]

Hi - seen a lot here about bursaries and wondered if anyone has remortgaged for school fees - we live in a 700K home (all paid off) in London. Salaries 90K gross. Potential school fees are 12K a term so 72K a year for 2. Would we qualify for a part bursary or would we be expected to remortgage? Do they look at the home first? Id be interested in any bursar views as there have been a few posting?

This is how many of us are living and we have no bursary. People think private school is lavish or elite. It is miserable and we cut back and the children miss out on a lot. Parents are now questioning and negotiating fees.

So why do it? When you can get a good education for free?

https://www.gbnews.com/money/private-school-fees-soar-vat

Many of us feel trapped in our decision.

lets hope the government do as promised and inject this money into education and the state system.

we are trapped between a rock and a hard place.

At least if we can get our children into state education we will have funds to enjoy family life again.

People believe that the children are getting this fantastic education in independent schools and that (outside London) is a myth. We’re paying the schools, utility bills, building maintenance and staff costs. The cut backs are rife from school lunch, to sport co curricular, arts, disgruntled staff not wanting to run clubs or wrap around provision. We pay in good will but we do not receive what was promised at point of admission. As much as we pay, it never seems to convert to provision for the children just operating costs. Upkeep. No funds for luxury for the children at school or home both, spread too thin. Children suffering. If we can move to state we will. If state improve and promise well behaved environments for learning with government cash injection to co curricular and leveling up. This is the future for U.K. education. Independent schools outside of London are simply a waste of family money, unsustainable.

@fartotheleftside i went to state myself and didnt even consider private but we tried and got a decent bursary at the time. What i notice is there are lots of SEN pupils in the classes of varying degrees - so the parents clearly dont think state works for them and have the funds to put them into independent. In ours, they get a lot of support.

Once you are in - its hard to leave - you get used to the smaller classes - and for us, there isnt really a strong alternative locally unless you go to a faith school (Judaism / Catholic), and we wouldnt qualify

Yes that’s the feeling “once you’re in” it’s suffocating.

No family no matter how wealthy likes waste.

If a family believe SEN is catered to I can wholeheartedly see why a happy child needs met coming home is worth its weight in gold.

The conflict arises when you’re at a top “selective” also in a outstanding state catchment and you have friends and family in both that’s when you recognise that the children are learning and advancing and thriving in all areas.

One is entirely free the children and families doing well, learning and enjoying treats and family enrichment, children dressed well sporting trends, going to concerts or sports events. Enjoying life! As families.

And the other working every second paying thousands of pounds annually, parents tired, stressed, worried. Kids told ‘no we can’t afford it’ simple things not luxuries. Every penny directed to a school (business) which is at every opportunity making cut backs to standards, provision and no matter how much we contribute paying full fees, always ask more. We have nothing more to give, neither do our kids.

Over a 1/3rd of your gross household income a year on school fees. Is it something you can realistically afford anyway?

Additional 20% which came in over night! Passed straight on to families.

The choice was we will be stretched but it’s manageable, do able.

Our kids will have access to education plus arts, sports, opportunities, co curricula.

This has all been cut.

So we are not getting what we signed up for. The schools outside London all have major financial problems with operational costs! That’s what our fee money is subsidising.

@Tootandcomeinagain
i hear you @Tootandcomeinagain what I found also with private is the positive/nurturing attitude of the school towards pupils where the kids develop a connection with the adult as opposed to the sort of more controlling behaviour/compliance first approach of our local state secondaries
but this is obviously in the part of london we live in and I have no idea whether it is the same elsewhere.
and yes lots of SEN children who are highly intelligent but need a more gentle supportive positive environment to thrive

Haven't read all the replies...but it really irritates me how on any thread about private school, people have to wade on and suggest it's just not worth the money.

In some cases, it's not - but in some cases, particularly in some areas of London, it really is! My kids are at a leading London private and absolutely thriving. It has been financially very challenging for us, and yes, there won't be money for flat deposits down the line, but I can't regret it for a second. It's nothing to do with a flashy astro pitch, but a truly excellent education and very happy school experience for them.

There are, of course, some truly excellent state schools and if you live within catchment of one of those, great. But that is the exception rather than the rule. Our closest senior school unfortunately gets terrible results at GCSE and A-level, and has a lot of social challenges.

Even friends who have kids at 'outstanding' state schools talk a lot about poor teaching, disruptive behaviour and facilities that are falling apart.

It's not AT ALL fair that money should be able to buy you a better education. But in some areas, it unfortunately does.

it's not worth the money

London is teeming with good state schools and great transport links, I don't for a moment believe that you couldn't have found one

As the parent of a child with high-functioning autism and ADHD, who is too disabled to attend a mainstream state, but too capable to attend a special school, private absolutely is worth it. It removes all the barriers that my child would struggle with at a mainstream state school - busy classrooms and transitions, disruptive students, teachers who don’t know my child / can’t offer any flexibility.

Do they genuinely not have disruptive students in private schools? Not talking about stabbings etc but just the general low level disruption?

It depends on the school. But at the better schools, it's very easy for them to just remove a student who isn't behaving appropriately because they can fill that place ten times over with ease. These are the types of schools that OP is looking at. DD had some difficult times at school during her teenage years but she faced almost zero disruption of lessons. I think the worst she faced in terms of disruption was a few people not paying attention. She had a very different experience from her friends at (universally good or better) state schools.

Interesting. My experience of people going private is that those children have had SEN or found mainstream difficult so I wasn’t convinced the behaviour would actually be better.

edited to say only just noticed this was a dead thread that has been revived 🤦‍♀️ My logic is still right though.

Why send your kids to private school, you cannot afford it.

You will give up everything to do it, no holidays, no fun days out, scrimping and saving…for what?

72k a year…FFS, just put £11k a year in a savings account for each child and save 50k. In 18 years (after uni and when they’ve got jobs) the kids will each have almost 200k (and interest) and can out this down on a home. The financial pressure you save them will far outstrip what they get from private school in the VAST majority of cases that this is done.

That 50k a year can be used to actually enjoy life and make real memories with the kids

I think the situation is different in London. Outside London, many lower-ranked private schools are minimally selective and will take children struggling in mainstream schools without too much fuss (not all, obviously, I mean Eton/Winchester/Wycombe Abbey or wherever are obviously going to be pretty selective). In London, a lot of the private schools of the type that OP is looking at are highly selective (so a motivated and engaged student population with lots of parental backup) and hugely oversubscribed. That doesn't mean they won't take children with SEN but they aren't going to be admitting children with behavioural problems in the main.

@Cityslickers over half our class have some sort of SEN. Just one is what youd see as heavily on the spectrum and may behave slightly differently though highly academic. We have had 2 children in the school with ADHD who have thrown chairs or hit teachers, and they have been managed out. But the rest have stayed/are well supported

My kids are very academic. This is going to sound like boasting but it’s to make a point - but eldest got 4astars at A-level, 10 9s at GCSE and went to Oxford. This isn’t unusual for her school. The teaching is incredible.

Yes there are some good state schools in london - but the one we’re in catchment for gets terrible results - just over half pass maths and English gcse, for example. There have been issues with knife crime and disruptive behaviour. The buildings are falling to pieces.

I won’t even get into the difference in comparing sport/music/art/drama provision.

So for us - worth it, one hundred percent.

A small, non selective private school was the only school-based option for my disabled son for a few years between a disastrous time at state primary and our LA funding his place at a specialist independent school. Our only other option was home education. With the best will in the world, state schools can’t meet the needs of every child. The vast majority of people are fortunate enough to not need to know this.