23 weeks pregnant found out father is married

[Soconfusedandsadx]

NC for this but I've been on mumsnet a while.
I'm completely heartbroken.
I had no idea.
I am 22 weeks pregnant and received a message last week from my partner's wife!! Someone messaged her and told her her husband is having an affair and all about me.

He admitted it all and has chosen her. We weren't living together but we do work together and I was really happy being part of a couple. We spend lots of time together. I am in love with him and he says he is with me.
Turns out he is still married. He told me he was separated. 😢
I don't think I can continue my pregnancy alone. And the baby will be a reminder of what I have done and what he is.
I can have an abortion this week but I am on the cusp. I have been to Marie Stopes and had my initial consultation. I know the baby's sex and I have chosen a name. I can feel the baby moving.

I don't think there is an easy answer to this but I don't think I can have this child.
I am so angry and so sad and just feeling so stupid. I don't know what to do.
Please no horrible comments. I'm broken.
How can I have this child in this situation? I am already a single mum to three children from my now ended marriage.
I can't stop crying. I can't see a way out. I don't want to abort but mentally I am not strong enough to carry on with this pregnancy now. I don't think mentally i am strong enough to abort.

I was meant to have my abortion prep today and my surgery tomorrow but I've caught covid from my kids and they cancelled my appointment so now it's Thursday for my prep and Friday for surgery.
I'm under the care of my GP and I am also scheduled to see the perinatal mental health team next week as I have long standing mental health problems.
I've got to put my three children and myself ahead of this baby but I feel broken.
If you've got this far thank you for reading. I'm not sure if I have even posted this in the right section. Please feel free to report and ask to move if so. Thank you.

I am 37 weeks tomorrow. Baby girl is being delivered on 5th January at 37 and 6. I have 2 appointments next week for steroid injections for her lungs as she is being born below 38 weeks. Her due date is the 20th!
I shall let you all know when she is here safely. She is kicking me like mad. At my scan at 36 weeks they told me she is transverse presentation and her head is on my right side under my ribs. It's like a bowling ball and i can manipulate her head with my fingers. It is not the most comfy - my others were all head down by now! Got one last midwife app today and that will be my last.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me and my unborn baby daughter.
She needs all the luck she can get xxx

Ah I am so pleased to hear from you! A truly beautiful name you have chosen for this little girl. Sophie Lydia. Absolutely gorgeous. Well done with middle name choice big brother!
I am glad that you will be getting support and your mum is coming. Do you get on well?

@Soconfusedandsadx thank you so much for updating. I hope you have a peaceful week before Sophie Lydia makes her entrance. You've chosen such a lovely name for her, to me this means that despite how distressed you are and have been there is that bit of you that knows how to bond with her and love her. I'll certainly be thinking about you, especially on your c-section day. All the very very best and much love and hugs to you. So glad your mum is available to take care of you and help too.
💕

My fingers are crossed for you and Sophie Lydia. I hope the birth goes smoothly and that you’ll be able to forget your ex and see Sophie Lydia as the unique, brand new person she is. And her first smiles will be purely for you!

Best Christmas present to get an update and hear your news. I’m so glad you are alright, released from work and almost at the end of your pregnancy. I feel relieved for you, it’s been such a lot to cope with.

Fantastic that your Mum is coming to help and what a beautiful name. Wishing you all the best for the birth. Huge hugs and take care xo

Wishing you all the best for your section on the 5th. Glad to hear you have your mother coming to help initially.

Thank you everyone 💓
My mother wasn't the best mum growing up but I can say with 100 percent certainty she is the best grandmother in the world and she adores my children and her other grandchildren. I do love her even though things have been hard at times. She is a very practical woman and I know she will be a fantastic support when the baby comes. She will just get on with it, she will just get on with nappies/night feeds etc and let me rest.
She is very excited about baby Sophie and is coming up tomorrow to get her travel system/cot everything else sorted for me.
I Will definitely update on here when baby is here.
I can't believe I have almost made it. I am not kidding when I say I didn't think I would. My mental health and wellbeing has never been as bad but I hope things are on the upturn.
Saw midwife today. She confirmed still transverse presentation so I'm glad the baby is a planned section! Xx

January is literally the worst month of the year. My other kids are April, May and July birthdays. The only positive is that we are past the shortest day!.x

Noooo! I'm a January birthday and I love it! As a child I was excited that after Christmas there was my birthday to look forward to, and my mum also said she loved having my birthday to plan. Funnily enough I love winter, all things cold, cosy nights.
I am so happy with your update. You are so so strong to have got through the last 9 months. I say this to my daughter who has mental health issues. This is one of the most difficult illnesses to cope with and keep going. The fact you are at this point speaks volumes for your strength. Please remember this.

I wish you all the very best for the 5th of January. Will be thinking of you and your family. Sophie Lydia is blessed to have you as her mummy ❤️

@lingmerth thank you x
And thank you for the positive slant on January birthdays ☺️😘

I’m so pleased that you are sounding more positive and have decided to keep her , best wishes x

Hoping everything goes okay on the 5th.

Wishing you the best . My daughter’s birthday is the 5 th too .

Such a lovely update , I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you are .
What a beautiful name youve chosen ! It sounds like you are going to have lots of support 🩷

Great name, great birthday and a great mum - she is a lucky girl already!

Will be thinking of you, you're doing so bloody well and I hope you're really proud of yourself

Thank you everyone. I am chilling this evening with a giant baby head sticking out from under my ribs, her head feels enormous! X

Glad to hear you're doing a better! Agree Jan is a great month for birthdays as you can get presents in the sales.

Good luck lovely. Beautiful name you've chosen.

January is brilliant for all kinds of sports. I have 2 with February birthdays and it's been really good - a lot of kids' sport have a cut off date of 1st Jan so e.g. if you're born on January 2nd 2010 you will be in Under 14s competitions all year even though you turned 14 at the very beginning of the year, so all of your competitors will be younger than you. It's been proven to create a lifelong advantage across a number of sports.

https://fansided.com/2016/07/08/freelance-friday-birthday-bias-in-the-nba/

@Soconfusedandsadx I hope you've had a lovely Christmas! Sophie is a beautiful name and she's so very lucky to have a warrior for a Mummy! Wishing you lots of love for Friday and a safe delivery and recovery from your section ❤️

sending you lots of love for tomorrow OP xx

@Soconfusedandsadx
Wishing you and Sophie all the very best on your delivery date.

Wishing you all the best today! I had a section a week ago and have recovered quite well and hope you’ll be the same. Glad your mum is helping out.

I agree with others that January is good for birthdays. I wish my baby was in January instead of so close to Christmas.

Will be thinking of you today @Soconfusedandsadx and sending you all the good and supportive vibes.
Best of luck sweetheart.

Thinking of you today - how exciting!