Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

@MO22 I could definitely feel uterus from about 14wks, hard lump in middle of abdomen, much more prominent when (ahem) other organs down that way were full, if you catch my drift. I don't have a lot of belly fat (it's all elsewhere) and am a habitual stomach poker so I expect I noticed this earlier than many people. But it's been nice to monitor it getting higher up my belly. It now reaches just below my bellybutton, I think, which is about right for 19wks.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl it's so inconvenient pregnancy also messes with your gut, isn't it. 🤣 I swear my gut has never been this chatty before, which makes it very hard to know where the feeling is coming from (but I do think some of them are the foetus).

I am officially losing the plot with anxiety now 🙈 - it's all I think about! I am worried my stomach has gotten smaller again and have had no more ?movement feelings at all

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I don’t think you are alone, unfortunately I don’t have any advice to help. My irrational thought last night: I wasn’t tired yesterday and happily stayed awake until 11:30pm so does that mean something is wrong? Every single night before then I have been exhausted by 4pm and in bed by 8pm. I’m tired again right now so I’m just hoping it was an odd day.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl @Blue2020 I'm just as bad. I have been having er, frequent bowel movements... And therefore have convinced myself something is wrong as surely I should be constipated 🫣

No advice either, but with you in solidarity!

I'm also going crazy with anxiety. I feel like my bump had a big growth spurt in the early weeks but feel like it's not really getting bigger now. I'm still not sure if I've felt movement. Possibly movement possibly gas. I'm feeling sad every day because i think about how bad it would be having to tell everyone if I've had another miscarriage.

@Anoushka1986 I feel the same. Keep thinking that I'll get to my 20w scan and have a miscarriage confirmed and have to tell people. No bump, no movements. Going a bit out of my mind at 17w today.

hey! can I join? I'm due at the end of May, have had one successful pregnancy and one MC so I'm finding the anxiety in this pregnancy pretty rough going -- it's reassuring to read that I'm not alone! I haven't really had any symptoms throughout and I'm not feeling any movements yet which is worrying me as I think I did with DC's pregnancy by this point. My bump is definitely growing but i have this fear that it's just my uterus/placenta and all isn't ok with the baby.. :( my husband keeps looking at the bump and saying all must be fine but I can't relax. I've got my 16 week apt tomorrow and wondered, did most of you end up listening to the baby's heartbeat at that appointment? I'm in a new trust and not sure if it's going to be offered, and if it isn't i'm not sure how i'm going to make it through the next few weeks until my 20 week scan!

@northerngal20 welcome to the group. I did hear the hb at my 16 week appointment, however I’ve seen others post that they were not offered it.

I'm sorry to hear we are all in a similar boat. Made the mistake of joining a Facebook group for 2023 May mums and it's full of 18 week bump photos 🙈🙈🙈.

HOWEVER, it's actually quite reassuring to hear we are all having these worries as statistically speaking, we are all likely to be fine yet all feel not very bumptastic. Trying to be positive as I have cried 3 times already today.

Yes it is reassuring that we’re all having similar worries, although obviously unfortunate that we all feel this way!

I keep convincing myself that bump hasn’t grow that much, that one day I can feel him but then is it gas? Is he alive? How is 20 week scan going to go? Will Christmas be ruined? How will I survive another loss?

But I must say, and hope others feel a bit similar. I am hopeful, some moments I do feel excitement for this baby. Amongst the worrying, there’s still that bit of happiness and excitement

ok thanks @Blue2020! good to know :)

Yes, it is definitely reassuring that we're all feeling this way, hopefully it will start to get easier the bigger our babies get. @MRSDoos I'm also hopeful, it is definitely a very exciting time with lots to look forward to!

@northerngal20 His 20 week scan is Wednesday, I’m nervous and I’m sure I won’t sleep the night before but if that goes well I can be so relieved, and maybe start to buy some bits!

ahh, @MRSDoos not long to go now at all all! nerves are totally understandable, but all being well that will be a lovely start to Christmas, so exciting when you start buying stuff and it all starts to feel real!

I just had my 20w scan where everything looked good, sonographer had no worries. Very relieved. 💓 Little Grogu was super active, but refused to move from being spine-out so she had to poke quite hard to get photos of the heart and diaphragm. 🤣 Stubborn like their parents, this one!

FWIW I don't think I have much of a bump - I can stick out my stomach and look a bit pregnant but I could do that before I was pregnant too! And if I suck everything in it still goes pretty flat. I think in lots of pics people are sticking everything out to look as big as possible.

I ended up calling midwife unit today as I was just so anxious about no belly, no movement. They were so so nice, said that's totally normal but pop in, had a feel of uterus and a wee listen to heartbeat 💓 and all is looking well. Said they can feel uterus is plenty sized but sitting quite upright in my body and it's still early days for both bump and movement. Said bump by 24wks, movement by 22 ish is the usual FTM guidelines.

Also when trying to do heartbeat she could sincerely hear moving and likely kicking but I couldn't feel it at all - just too early to feel I guess!

@Melusina123 glad your 20 week scan went well and everything was good.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl its really good that they saw you and helped reassure you.

Im now impatiently waiting for Wednesdays scan. Just hoping it’s all good news. I have quite bad heartburn/acid reflux atm.

@northerngal20 how did 16 wk appt go?

Thanks everyone. Honestly I was so anxious and I couldn't really enjoy it until the sonographer had visualised everything and reassured us, but after that it was absolutely magical. I'm still smiling when I think about getting to see them swallowing and kicking away.

I'm still so conscious of everything that could go wrong, and I've already started to feel myself go into worry mode, but I'm glad I got a day of just feeling happy, at least.

I hope everyone's else scans go well and we all have happy experiences to take into Chrismas. :)

Wish me luck - we're about to tell the whole of OH's family...!

Hi everyone. I've been quiet but following. @Melusina123 so glad your 20 week scan was good. How did telling them family go?

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl glad you got some reassurance from the midwife.

@northerngal20 how was the 16W appt?

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I have the opposite problem to a lot of you in that I'm huge. I don't feel reassured by it but rather forced into telling people who want to chat about babies when I'm still panicked about losing the baby. Plus people laugh at me because I'm so big so early which I also find a bit hard. I was feeling movements but not for a couple of days which is predictably worrying me too.

Oh I really hope all of those little ones are ok in there!! This is hard isn't it?!

@Janefx40 it was OK. 🤣 Partner chose a very confusing was to do things, and his grandma was a bit disapproving of us not being married (and also seemed a bit nonplussed about me being in my mid-30s, I think she assumed that I was "past the age" 🤣). But other than that all very positive.

@Janefx40 it is hard hard hard! I do have flashy moments of "this is a great thing" but mostly worry!

@Melusina123 my DH said to his "oh waxinganowl's not drinking tonight plus she's been really tired". Which would have been a fun hint, except due to 3 yrs TTC/infertility treatment and working for the NHS I've not been drinking much in years and I'm always tired. So they were just like "okay 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️" and he had to interrupt the convo moving on to emphatically say "because she's pregnant"

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl we had the opposite, partner said "She's feeling tired" and his Grandma was like, "What? What? Why?" Then his parents were like, "SHE'S CATCHING ON, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ANNOUNCE".

But seriously, I've been tired for at least a decade, especially at this time of year with the darkness, so I really don't think that should have been considered a hint!

I hope you have a wonderful scan this week. :)

Feeling really anxious today.
Looked at a pregnancy weight calculator, and it says I am half a kilo behind where I should be at 17w and feeling v worried as hardly any bump and no movements.

I am tempted to call a midwife like you did @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl but I am so scared to get bad news before Christmas.

Feeling v upset. We've also had no water due to a leak for 48 hours and just feel awful and really stressed.

@MO22 I had no bump and could barely feel movements at 17w (and as I've said before I am very attuned to the rumblings of my stomach so I expected to be an early outlier). I do think people who 'pop' or feel movements early like to get online and talk about it, which gives a false sense of what's normal at this stage.

I'm sorry you're feeling anxious. 😔 Some bits of pregnancy are rather to be endured than enjoyed, aren't they?