Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

@MO22 do you have a scan soon? Sorry I have lost track of where everyone is.

You could call the midwife for reassurance, I’m sure they won’t mind.

@Blue2020 nope, I have my 20w scan at 21w, so second week of Jan.

Just so terrified of finding out something is wrong... But also could really do with some reassurance.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl hello! thanks for thinking of me! it went well - she listened to the hb and said all was fine; however I've now got this (irrational?) worry that she in fact just heard my heart beat as my heart was racing with nerves so going really quickly when she was using the doppler! i'm not feeling very reassured at all - still no movement so i've convinced myself something is wrong :( i'm glad you had some reassurance the other day, i almost want to go back in to be checked but then i don't want bad news before xmas..

@MO22 i totally understand your worries! i'm the exact same. however try not to panic based off the weight calculator as it will likely be based off an average, meaning it's completely normal to be above or below it

glad to hear about the scans that have gone well, so nice to read about these wriggly babies!

@MO22 ah, does your midwife offer to let you hear the hb? I know trusts can be different regarding this.

@Blue2020 no idea, I've only had a booking in appt and don't have a midwife appt until the day before my 21w scan in January.

I'm in London, not sure what their policy is. I wonder if I could call them and see...

@MO22 oh, I had a booking apt at 9 weeks, the dating scan at 13weeks, then an antenatal appt with the midwife at 16weeks where she checked my blood pressure, urine and it’s then she offered to let me hear the heartbeat (this can vary on trust if it’s offered at this point or not though). Don’t want to get your hopes up incase your trust don’t offer it at that point.

I don’t know if the 16week appointment is standard, but it’s listed on the nhs website as one of the antenatal appointments. I know later in the pregnancy it varies how many appointments/frequency depending on if it’s the first or subsequent pregnancies after having a baby.

@Blue2020 I didn't get a 16w one... Unless the one I have at 21w in Jan is that one?
I just had booking at 9w and ultrasound at 12w. And now nothing until 21w - midwife appt on the 11th Jan and "20w scan" on the 12th.

I wonder if I could ask for my midwife one to be earlier. This is my second pregnancy but first past 12w so I would imagine they still class it as my first if you know what I mean!

Just called them - apparently the midwives try and push this appt out later because it's more likely for you to hear something on the Doppler if it's later (so they do use it.)

No earlier appts available at all however, so just need to try and remain sane for the next three weeks. Trying to wear my big girl pants and not cry!

@MO22 sorry you're feeling this way. I'm a bit the same. Still don't believe it's actually going to happen and still don't think I'm feeling movement.

@MO22 oh at least they will offer it in the future, it’s a shame they don’t now. Hopefully the next few weeks will go quickly for you with Christmas and before you know it, it will be early January. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to call and talk to them.

I’m sorry to hear of all the anxieties everyone is having.

I’m 20 weeks tomorrow and my scan is on Wednesday morning. I’m so so nervous. In one way I am happy that I’ve made it to 20 weeks, it feels surreal. On the other hand I’m getting myself worked up that something could be wrong.

Does anyone else have that weird feeling that only healthy babies happen to other people and that you just can’t imagine it happening to you? This will be my first child, it just feels so insane that this might be happening for me but I keep doubting it.

@MO22 my midwife expressedly said a lot of people lose weight as they either cut back due to nausea or eat healthier once pregnant. She very much stressed that average weight and belly size is just that an average and that there are perfectly healthy pregnancies away from the average.

@northerngal20 they are super experienced and would 100% know your heartbeat Vs the babies. An adult "racing heart" from anxiety is like 110bpm and a fetal heart is like 140+! Also, they played mine out loud and as they scanned across abdomen to find baby you could briefly hear my own HB and its v different than babies in speed and in depth of sound (presumably because adult hearts are so much bigger). So I doubt they could get that wrong.

I swear I’ve been feeling kicks or movements but then I doubt myself and think maybe it’s gas? Anyone else the same

@MRSDoos me now! I think I have had a couple for sure, one last night I thought I could almost feel on surface

@MRSDoos my scan is Wednesday morning too and I feel like that. I’m anxious about it incase it’s bad news, at the same time I would just like to have the scan already. This is my first too.

@MRSDoos I feel this way. I feel like my body is flawed in some way. I think I seem strange when people congratulate me because I don't really seem excited because I don't really believe it's going to happen. I have to stop myself from saying things like "if it all works out I'll be due ....." for example when people ask when I'm due.

I’m so upset

My hospital have had scan machine break down and cancelled my 20 week scan and can’t fit me in for 2-3 weeks

As you can imagine this caused me to panic

Ive booked a private scan now in another town like an hour away it’s all I could find for tomorrow

I know they can’t do proper checks like hospital

I can’t even begin to explain how sad I am

Oh no, @MRSDoos , that's awful. I hope the scan is positive tomorrow.

For what it's worth, you can find some private places that will do a full anatomy scan, just need to look for somewhere that offers that rather than a 'wellbeing' scan, and they're quite a bit more expensive. (Maybe you looked for these and nothing nearby though?)

I looked into this myself just to get an anatomy scan as early as possible but most plaves won't do it til 19 weeks and my NHS scan was at 20+1.

If I was in your situation and it was an option financially/locally, I'd go for it.

I can't believe they're not fitting you in for several weeks!!

@Melusina123 Yes it’s all I could find 😢 I guess it’s better than no scan, and to know he’s alive and looks well will be enough to get me through Christmas

It is very last minute and I cried down the phone in frustration. I imagine anyone would be upset, let alone after losses

@MRSDoos I'm so sorry to hear it!! At least knowing he's OK will be better than nothing. And you'll get to see him twice!

@MRSDoos I'm so sorry. That is beyond shit. Which area are you in? Great idea to get a private scan. At least they can reassure you a little.

@MRSDoos sorry that you have to wait longer for the anatomy scan, it’s really unfortunate timing. It’s good that you managed to book in a scan though for tomorrow. Hope it all goes well.

Surprisingly I actually managed to sleep last night. I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. I don’t know why I feel like this, but I feel like because the hospital have cancelled my scan it’s a “sign”. I’m now doubting every time I thought I felt movements.

@MRSDoos sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. It's really really shit isn't it.

@MRSDoos good luck today. I don't know whether things are fine or not but I do know that the scanner breaking isn't a sign. You have been feeling movements so that is a positive. And the odds are overwhelmingly in your favour although I realise that doesn't always reassure. I'll be thinking of you.

I went into the hospital yesterday as I didn't feel much movement over the weekend. To be fair it was only sporadic anyway as it's still early but I had a panic and called them and they said to go in. They had a listen and heard the heartbeat so I feel better about that. I felt a bit of a fool but they were very nice about it. Always worth seeking reassurance if you need it xxx