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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Due April/May after MC 🌈

1000 replies

BellaBella38 · 21/08/2022 12:35

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

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calipoppy · 21/08/2022 13:36

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somethingluscious · 21/08/2022 14:42

I'm about 6+3, but ovulated late at CD26. The midwife I spoke to said that didn't matter as they take it from the start of your cycle... I've been really struggling with anxiety since having a positive test at 11dpo. I'm 44 and have two daughters aged 14 and 11. In between them, I had 3 very early losses, so this is around the time a pregnancy might fail for me.

My first daughter was after fertility investigation and a laparoscopy where we got pregnant naturally, and second was taking clomid. I've been used to my fertility being medically managed to a large extent so was referred back and forth from GP to fertility then. All the GPs I had then have retired and they always did hCG blood tests for any confirmed pregnancy. The practice had 3-4 GPs and now only has one and had totally changed practice name without notifying the patients, so I've now switched practice. I'd called up to ask for hCG tests and the receptionist arranged it, then when I arrived I was told they don't do these. The GP ended up seeing me and doing a blood test as I was so upset. I switched practice on Friday to another practice that has 8 GPs and the receptionist wanted me to make an appointment straight away, really early on Tuesday morning. It's the anxiety that I'm really suffering with as at times it has felt unbearable over the past week, where other things are triggering me off to get really upset. That book looks like a really good recommendation.

I managed to arrange a lot this past Friday afternoon which is my half day off work, so got a named midwife who said all my appointments would be in the main hospital because of my age / history and they said to call the EPAU due to recurrent losses. They've arranged an assurance scan on the 1st September when I will be 8 weeks, but I would have gone private for one otherwise. I organised private blood tests as well, to get a second hCG test to check the doubling rate and to check my progesterone levels. Usually, once I know my bloods are either ok or crashing then I can be more realistic about my expectations. I have a second hCG blood test at a private Nuffield hospital on Wednesday to check the doubling rate and sent a finger prick blood test myself to Medichecks to check progesterone. Clinically there is no reason to do these, as they don't change anything other than the progesterone could be supplemented. I think the GP and MW will think I am being neurotic. There are NICE guidelines for progesterone supplementation though depending on how many losses you have had, so I was going to mention this too.

I can't feel excited and happy about it all yet. Maybe it gets easier each day. I have this sense of shame due to my age where all the risks are higher so feel like I'm giving health professionals more work to do. It took us 4 years to get pregnant or for my cycles to begin to regulate better in the last 2-3 years, which is very similar to how they were 15 years ago. Pregnancy for me tends to feel higher stakes early on by the time we eventually get a positive test. I think that heightens the anxiety. I have an 11-year-old skating around the room today who came along at the right time, so I do still have a tentative sense of belief that things will work out for the best. I've been reading, playing games and painting to try to keep my mind distracted.

The midwife at the EPAU said just to deal with how things are at present, day to day and to try not to worry about what ifs. My husband is good too. He is more bothered about me stressing out over something I can't control. I don't think the early pregnancy hormones help either and I said to him yesterday I have done everything I can right now so it's a waiting game.

Try to get organised with a midwife too, I think from week 6. The ones I spoke to were really good and phoned me back after I left a message, then my named midwife went through my full pregnancy history with me as a booking in appointment over the phone.

BellaBella38 · 22/08/2022 20:16

@somethingluscious The stress really can feel overwhelming. I have fleeting sparks of excitement which my head quickly tells me to get control over and not to get too ahead of myself. My book arrived today, had a quick glance and it seems promising.

Today was "5 weeks no bleeding" which I'll keep taking for the win. We can self refer to the midwives at 6 weeks here too. It really stressed me out last time that they didn't call when they were meant too, but this time I'm determined to be more chill. 🤞

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BellaBella38 · 22/08/2022 20:18

@calipoppy How are you getting on today? Still hanging in there strong? ❤️

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calipoppy · 22/08/2022 20:38

@BellaBella38 I'm sure you'll have a totally different experience with the midwives this time without Covid, it was so different for my pregnancy earlier this year compared to my DD in 2020.
Well done for getting to 5 weeks! Today was my AF due date so I suppose now I'm officially late! I think this time it's really not going to feel real until much later on, if I make it far enough. Just trying to keep as much of a level head as I can do!

BellaBella38 · 22/08/2022 21:20

@calipoppy Congratulations first milestone down! I've been using a meditation app called Expectful for a while now, they have something for every possible aspect of pregnancy. I mainly use it for the deep sleep relaxation. You get a few weeks for free then it signs you up at a pretty hefty fee if you don't cancel. I have a chronic sleep disorder so for me it's worth every penny! My friend also runs a yoga group which I'll be heading on down to. Still finding myself grinding my teeth a fair bit mind! 🤦‍♀️

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Charl881 · 22/08/2022 21:33

@BellaBella38 Let me know how you get on with the GP re: progesterone. I asked mine about it and they said they couldn’t prescribe it so have had to refer me to the obstetrics team, god knows when I’ll hear from them. I’ve registered my pregnancy with the midwives today, I feel like I’m jinxing it at only five weeks BUT at least if it doesn’t work out they have a proper record of it and it would be my third loss so hopefully the trigger for more support.

I can’t remember if I said on the other thread but I go on holiday a week today and I am so anxious about miscarrying abroad!

BellaBella38 · 22/08/2022 21:43

@Charl881 Argh this "3 miscarriages before treatment" is such complete and utter bollox! Tommy's is running a campaign about it, but depressingly I can't see it having a huge impact. I think it's due to our collective lack of testicles. I've no idea if progesterone would be of any help to me, so it'll be good to talk it out with my GP. I'll keep you updated! Where abouts are you going on holiday?

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Suchasmilingsweetheart · 23/08/2022 04:11

Hi all and congratulations! Hope everyone is feeling OK. I had a miscarriage last month, my first pregnancy. It hit me like a tonne of bricks, miscarried at 7+4. I have fallen pregnant straight away...something that hasn't really surprised me, but it is such a strange feeling being in early pregnancy again so soon. 5+1 by LMP although I think I ovulated a bit later so actually am only 4+2.
Just really hope I don't have a repeat of last time. I guess it's just a case of taking it day by day and hope this one is sticky 😊

Suchasmilingsweetheart · 23/08/2022 04:12

@bellabella38 Tommy's have such good resources on their website. Really hope they get supported more as a charity to go further with their research!

Zincoop · 23/08/2022 06:07

Hi everyone, can I join you?

I found out last week that im pregnant which was a bit of a surprise because we had given up ttc.

I'm 41 and have had 3 misscarriages in the past year. So this pregnancy is very scary. I'm taking the larger dose of folic acid and I'm going to ask my gp about proesstrogen.

I havent contacted midwife yet as it doesn't seem worth it (I know I'm very negative) but the last pregnancy I had I did everything as early as I could, had many private reassurance scans, saw my baby happily moving around only to lose her at 12+3.

This time I'm just going to keep myself as well as I can, eat properly, keep hydrated and just take things day by day. I don't know at what point I will feel like there might be a baby at the end of this journey, 12 weeks doesn't feel safe point for me. Maybe if I get to 25w +?

I seem to rambling on.. Good luck with this journey ladies xx

somethingluscious · 23/08/2022 06:36

It's really hard for us all. I'm just getting past the point when I miscarry which has only been as late as 23dpo. I'm 22dpo today and my hCG looks good between last Wednesday and Friday, but my progesterone is on the low side. There are these odd threshold dates, like what the due date would have been, getting past that too if it does go wrong.

I have another hCG test tomorrow just so the sample difference is a week apart. I have to say Medichecks were really good. I sent a sample late Friday afternoon and had results Monday morning, though they are going to be affected by postal strikes coming up.

I think it's a progesterone deficiency for me, as maybe 2-3 cycles a year will be good, the others the luteal phase crashes temp wise or the length can vary. My concern is that I won't get to the end of the month and it will be too late, but saying that my temps started to rise again this morning after gradually dropping for a few weeks and then leveling off over the weekend, so my corpus luteum seems to be trying it's hardest.

I totally understand the idea of not booking in with a midwife. My previous GPs always checked the hCG and then we went from there, but the ones I spoke to last weekend did make me feel so much better.

I'll see what the new GP says this morning. The frustrating thing I found was even talking to the MW at the EPAU, they were very much of the mindset, lets be realistic and what will be will be, when actually if they treat with Cyclogest / Progesterone that can help women who have had recurrent miscarriages.

calipoppy · 23/08/2022 08:13

Welcome to everyone who has just joined 💛

@somethingluscious it sounds like your GP is being really thorough, that's good, I hope they help you with any support you need!

@Suchasmilingsweetheart great username, I've got the kooks in my head now 😂 your story is almost exactly the same as what happened to me with my DD, mc as 8 weeks and then fell pregnant with her with no period between. Everything went smoothly with that pregnancy so keeping everything crossed for you that will be the same!

@Charl881 this must be so stressful. Which country are you going to? Maybe it would help to research the medical system just in case? Does your mum know?

Charl881 · 23/08/2022 09:13

@calipoppy Menorca. Yes I do need to do some research, although figure by that time still they’ll be nothing that the medical system can help with as I’ll still only be 5 weeks and a few days by my dates which I think is still chemical territory. My parents don’t know, telling them the first night of the holiday 🙈 Would rather tell them when I’m further along but they’ll notice me not drinking!!

BellaBella38 · 24/08/2022 09:45

Oh my days I am so insanely tired!

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Zincoop · 24/08/2022 11:22

BellaBella38 · 24/08/2022 09:45

Oh my days I am so insanely tired!

That's a good sign! The first trimester is so exhausting isn't it?

I felt like that yesterday and very nauseous. Today I feel neither so I'm worrying. Its going to be a tough few months.

I've ordered 20 of the premom hcg tests so I can take each day to watch for line progression.

Melusina123 · 25/08/2022 07:58

Hi everyone, hope you're all going well. I'm posting as I (think I) fall into the category of this thread. We started trying for first in Oct/Nov 2021. I was prepared for it to take a while, but was expecting the 'nothing for many months' variety, not the multiple losses variety...!

Got pregnant first month trying, which was a shock. But tests didn't go positive until after AF was due, were faint (strong enough to come up on a digital but that's about it), and literally that afternoon I started bleeding. As this was my first rodeo I took myself down to A&E where they treated me like I was an idiot - HPTs the hospital had weren't sensitive enough and came up negative and they suggested maybe it was just my period and sent me home 🙄. In the end it was a CP. Took a month off, then started trying again; got pregnant again in April 2023, but it was a MMC at 8 weeks, had MVA but kept bleeding for about 2.5 weeks after (sigh). Started trying again once the bleeding stopped.

Asked for investigations from GP but she said the EPU does those and they would have offered them if available after 2 losses.

Now just got a faint BFP at 11DPO (very faint at 10DPO), so here we go again. Last two times I went straight in and woke my partner up with the news; this time I haven't told him yet. I feel very emotionless, really. I'm not excited, but I'm also not particularly anxious. It all just feels like I've put my future back in the hands of some arbitrary and indifferent force and I'm just a passenger waiting to see how this go-round pans out.

calipoppy · 25/08/2022 08:17

Welcome @Melusina123 and tentative congratulations 💛
I think we all here understand and relate to the feelings you describe, I was the same with telling my partner this time and I also don't feel excited, I think it's a way to protect ourselves.
I think all we can do is take each day at a time and I'm so glad we have this thread to support each other through it 😊

BellaBella38 · 25/08/2022 11:57

Morning everyone!

I wasn't up to the loo 4 times overnight so I panicked and peed on a stick. I've progressed to the 2-3 week mark so feeling slightly better.

@Charl881 How long until you're off to Menorca? I had a chat with my GP today who won't prescribe progesterone as it's not within GP remit. Once EPAU or obs have done the first prescription she'll happily continue with their specialist recommendation. She suggested I self refer to the midwives early as I'll be under obs care anyway.

@Melusina123 @somethingluscious @Zincoop It's great to see you here. Just having other people around who "get it" I think is making me feel calmer. I hope this will be a safe space where every rational and irrational worry can be shared without everyone wondering if you've completely lost the plot!

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BellaBella38 · 25/08/2022 12:01

@Suchasmilingsweetheart I am totally with @calipoppy LOVE your username, I've had such a quality ear worm going on for the last couple of days! 😁

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Melusina123 · 25/08/2022 13:03

@calipoppy @BellaBella38 thanks, I agree it's nice to be with others who get it. I'm not holding out lots of hope that I'll be with y'all for the long haul, but who knows.

With MC #2 my innate pessimism definitely helped me cope. My partner had been looking at the statistics and was sure it would be fine, but I was like, "yes but it might not be," then at the scan things weren't fine, despite me feeling totally the same, no bleeding, etc. I think if I'd allowed myself more optimism I would have been completely gutted. Especially because having the MVA was not exactly fun even in a calm(ish) state of mind.

So my attitude this time is that it will probably all go wrong again, and if it doesn't then that will be a pleasant surprise. 😂 So far this has kept my anxiety lower than it was last time.

Zincoop · 25/08/2022 13:23

I'm so glad I found you ladies, each of your posts echos very much my own thought process.

How you put it @Melusina123 about being a passenger on this journey sums it perfectly.

My GP phoned yesterday and said she can't prescribe the proestrogen but she's going to write to obs gyny at hospital and see if they will. She also suggested connecting with the midwives early for extra support but I'm unsure on whether to do that. Oh, and also she says she can get me booked in for a reassurance scan but I declined. My partner found all the previous scans really stressful and it's not really an indication for us that things will be ok. Perhaps also seeing the baby makes me feel more attached? Sounds silly but I want to try and protect myself against the enevitable.

How's everyone's nausea? I was sick this morning and have been struggling all morning. I've had to hide it though because my eldest daughter is an emetaphobe and she collected her gcse results today!

Zincoop · 25/08/2022 13:28

@BellaBella38 it's funny you mentioned peeing on a stick. I keep thinking I need to get a weeks indicator test too!

When is expected to change to 3+? Is it 6 weeks?

Charl881 · 25/08/2022 13:58

@Melusina123 I feel the same, if I expect it to end badly at least I won’t be disappointed if it does!

@Zincoop I think around 5-6 weeks. Technically three weeks after conception but hormone levels differ for everyone and also you don’t know exactly when conception took place. No sickness here yet but I don’t think I’m even technically five weeks until Saturday because I know I ovulated late. Congratulations to your daughter, hope she was happy with her results?

@BellaBella38 I go away on Monday! Feeling a bit better about it now as I’ve got the hurdle of telling my mum over and done with so no going back now, if I miscarry away I will just have to deal with it.

Melusina123 · 25/08/2022 14:52

No vomiting for me; no symptoms of any sort, but I am only 3w4d 💀. Although it's nice to know early it does make things stretch on a bit vs people who don't find out until wk4 or wk5.

I just tested because I had a feeling and also I figured if it was negative I could start preparing myself to go again next month. Last time I was a strong posi on FRER by 3w5d so thinking about doing one of those tmrw.

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