Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

X

@Essexgalhere so glad your scan went well.

@Janefx40 I agree, the excessive full bladder instructions are a pain. I’ve found a good balance, that as long as I keep drinking small amounts I can go to the toilet 15/20mins before and it works out that it’s enough.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl @Janefx40
Yes I can relate to that so much
”is this your first pregnancy” “no, actually it’s my third” then having to go through why the other 2 pregnancies ended
People do think rainbow babies erase babies that were lost during pregnancy. I got really angry the other day when my dad told me that I should “forget and move on now we have this baby to focus on” on my due date of twins 20th of this month when I said I was going out with DH to take my mind off of things that day
I also found that because my losses have been before 12 weeks not many people really think they’re “real” losses and you get the standard “at least it was early” “at least they were not a real baby”. from the moment I got my positive test I’ve called them my babies and that will not change

How is everyone doing? My midwife booking appt is today! Middle of work day so not super handy but oh well!

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I’m doing OK thank you
How are you doing? I hope your booking appt goes well ☺️

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl good luck. Hope it goes well.

I'm ok. Bit crampy which makes me nervous. Am weaning off some of my meds too this week. Have an early Nuchal scan on Thursday 11+5 then NHS 12 week is next Thursday at 12+5. The NHS won't accept the private clinic scan and vice versa! Obviously nervous and just hoping all is still happening in there.

@Janefx40 I hope that both of your scans goes well ❤️

I’m crampy too, hopefully it is just womb growing rather than anything else

My sickness has calmed down quite a bit, still taking my anti-sickness meds but taking 2 instead of 3 a day

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I'm doing ok. On high alert today as it's been a week since 12w scan and I haven't heard anything about the combined test results. They said if result was high risk they notify you within a week and if low risk you just get the results at the 16w appt, so I figure if I hear nothing today that's a good sign. If course one always wonders if it's just disorganisation on their end so I won't fully relax...! Might still call them myself or go do the NIPT.

Other than that, though, I've been feeling a lot more sanguine about things since the 12w scan. Still very conscious of everything that could go wrong, but not quite so consumed by obsessing over it.

Hope your booking appt goes well. I found mine very anticlimactic!

@Essexgalhere I've been getting lots of twinges and cramps in my abdomen, which like you I'm choosing to assume are muscles stretching, digestive tract foibles, etc. Glad your sickness is easing off.

@Janefx40 good luck for the scans! Hope everything looks good for you. 💚

@Melusina123 I’m feeling a little more relaxed after my 12w scan too. I’m 13w today so officially in my 2nd trimester. In the back of my mind I still keep worrying that I will not be meeting my healthy baby in May.
I am in Essex (as you can probably tell my username lol) but midwife told me I get my results within a week if they are high risk for disabilities or in letter form within 10 days. I am kind of nervous about it, but trying not to be. Friday is a week since scan so I think I’ll be on high anxiety alert until then and maybe relax as I get into next week

@Essexgalhere I'm glad you're feeling calmer too. One can never fully relax (and I also still do not believe that I'll have a baby in May) but when I think about the peaks of anxiety I experienced around wk6-8 and then just before the 12wk scan, I'm glad at least not to be in that place right at this moment (I'm sure there are plenty of nerve-wracking moments coming, though).

I got bumped forward at my 12w scan so I'm actually 13+4 today! 3 weeks til 16w appointment. We might also have another scan then to find out gender and check all ok.

@Melusina123 I am going to book a private scan at 16 weeks. It’s a gender scan but I know that it is not always accurate at this stage, just more for anxiety reasons and checking all OK. I do not think for one second I will be able to wait until my 20 week scan.

My 20 week scan is booked 21st Dec. As soon as they gave me my booking at the desk the fear ran over me “this is going to ruin Christmas if we get bad news” I wish we didn’t have to have worries like this

Has anyone else experienced their bump shrinking? I have been showing since very early on, I'm quite thin and this is my 3rd baby. I'm 11 weeks 4 days and this morning I feel like my bump has gone. My bump has been so noticeable that I had to tell work at 8 weeks but suddenly I feel like it's gone. I had a private scan one week ago and everything was fine with baby. My 12 week scan is in another week and I'm feeling so anxious

@Jade57 I started noticing a bump at 8 weeks, by around week 10-11 it looked smaller but since 12 weeks it has become noticeable again

Midwife said it might be that bloating was causing my belly to look bigger. As you’re almost 12 weeks I’m guessing that the bloat has gone now and you are left with your actual bump. That’s what happened to me but I would speak to someone if you are worried x

@Jade57 definitely its the bloat going! I wouldn't worry at all.

@Jade57 I always show early in pregnancy and it does come and go a bit. I still maintain it's not all bloat but some of it is as I look about 4 months pregnant in the morning and 6 months by evening. But also why do I always get so big?! I'm only 11 weeks. Relatively slim normally.

I'm having a bit of a freak out and convinced myself I have miscarried. Don't feel sick today and have a few aches like I had during my miscarriage - just feeling super worried and wish I would just be hit my nausea or something. Hoping to be wrong

@Janefx40 im having the exact same thought. I should be 12+6 but I don’t feel pregnant. I do have a bit of occasional nausea but I’ve recently started taking iron tablets and they can cause nausea/sickness. Also last night for the first time I wasn’t tired by 9pm, I stayed awake until 11:30pm. This morning I had a bit of white like tissue with a tiny bit of red attached when I went to the toilet. I’m half unsure if I should be calling the epu, but I have the dating scan on Thursday so I can wait three days. This first trimester is a complete head mess.

I am very jealous of lots of you having done your 12 weeks scan, but given I'm due 29th May, I've only just squeezed into this group! 10 days and counting over here.

Just wondering if anyone has had abdominal pains at 10 weeks? Mine feel like more stomach than womb weirdly, is that normal? It's kind of low level crampy.

@mo22 yup I had those. My 12 week scan isn't till next wed either as they currently have my EDD down as 27th, but the private scan estimated it at 15th

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl gosh that's quite a difference! I know I ovulated late (PCOS) and I put it in my referral but I think they think I'm later and I'm actually having my scan at 11+4 - hoping they can still do all the tests if everything is ok in there. It's been a long month with no scans!

@Blue2020 it's so hard isn't it. Hopefully a small amount of red is nothing to worry about. There is a lot going on so the odd dot of blood is hopefully fine.

My scan is also Thursday (bit early at 11+5). I guess we just have to hope we're wrong. Am going to be utterly terrified tho.

@MO22 I've had occasional cramps and feelings throughout at different points. I don't think it's anything to worry about but always feels disconcerting.

Back on the work theme, I am so behind it's embarrassing and my boss thinks I'm useless anyway. I am trying but it's not easy to focus and work fast to deadlines. Wish I could just take the first trimester off.

@Janefx40 I found out today someone who works under me had made an error which will have financial implications on the company. I am ultimately responsible for them, and I should have triple checked. I spent most of today crying about it (I'm not a crier at all usually) and have convinced myself all the senior management hate me and I'm terrible at my job. To make matters worse, I've just been promoted to run a department and haven't yet told them I'm pregnant 😬 so feel quite awkward about that... And almost like I'm hoodwinking them?

I just am not on top of everything. It's horrible!

I'm sure your boss doesn't think you're useless, and also, my sister was encouraging me to chuck a sickie now and then just for a break. Not sure it will help with catching up on workloads but you have to prioritise you! If not now, then when?!

@MO22 thank you for reassuring words. I really hope it all turns out ok in the end with the financial error. These things happen and it's not really your fault.

It's great that you've been promoted and you will be at work (sickie's aside) for the next 6 months so plenty of time for them to get their best out of you. Ultimately work has to be family friendly because we need women to have decent jobs to make the economy work. So you are doing a public service by taking that promotion - that's how I see it anyway😉

I'm 12 weeks today but my 12 week scan isn't until next Thursday which is annoying!

Those who have had their 12 week scans are you all waiting until 16/20 weeks to have your next one?

I told myself I’d wait until 16 weeks which is only 3 weeks away until I have another scan but my anxiety is bad and I’m considering one at 14 weeks. I’ve already spent a few hundred on private scans and I don’t know if I’m being silly