Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

@Mrs173 I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Sending you all love and strength for the time ahead xxx

I've now found a scan for wed evening - couldn't help myself and needed a sooner update than 9th nov

@Mrs173 Completely understand your needing to step away. I'll be thinking of you x

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl good luck for the scan.
I am feeling v anxious, my scan is in two weeks and my symptoms have eased off a bit, I'm 9+2 so it feels a bit early for the placenta to take over, I don't know, maybe I'm worrying unnecessarily. I'm finding it so hard to think straight about it all.

Has anyone got/used a Doppler? Is it a recipe for disaster and more worry, or is it reassuring?

@MO22 My nausea and fatigue got a bit better around 8/9w (still feel nauseous/tired, just less so), and I just had a positive 12w scan so it's not necessarily something to worry about. It is probably the placenta even though it feels early. While worrying about it myself I found a chart that suggests reported nausea peaks in wk9, so if you peaked in late wk8 that's not that much earlier than the average.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl glad you got a scan booking. I think I would have been a lot less anxious for my NHS scan if I'd had one around 10w. It's just good to know what's going on in there, even if only as a snapshot.

@Janefx40 how did your scan go last night?

Has anyone sent off their paperwork yet? I have been putting off getting my maternity certificate because it just felt like I wasn't going to end up needing it. I also haven't sent off for my Baby on Board badge. 😂 But I'm planning on being incognito at work for as long as possible so the badge is quite high risk for forgetting to take it off before going into the office.

@MO22 I think a Doppler is a recipe for disaster esp early on. I hear a lot of midwives struggle to find the HB even at 16 weeks! And it's their literal job. The NHS also says it doesn't make things any safer as from 24wks you should be focusing on movement not HB. However, very much each to their own 😊

Sorry, reading it back that sounds judgy and I don't mean it to @MO22 , I just mean I worry it would only increase anxiety for me!

@Melusina123 I'm literally on the station platform covertly putting on my baby on board badge hoping no one sees me! To be honest, I had it left over from my last unsuccessful pregnancy (and never wore it) and I wanted to get SOME wear out of it in case this one ends too. It's a silly superstitious thing to be fair - also the tube is so busy again!

Thank you re placenta knowledge.. tbf I feel a little hot and sicky now anyway! But my boobs are so less sore which is throwing me off.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl not judgy at all - it was what I was thinking to be honest, I am just so so so nervous about another scan. Part of me wants to get one now but I had a 9w5 scan last time and saw a HB and then had a MMC so not sure if I can face the similar timings. Also not sure I can wait 2.5 weeks...

@MO22 I had bad nausea that I took anti sickness meds for that slowly started to get better just before 10 weeks. I’m now 12 weeks and it is a lot better than it was before, I haven’t had to take my anti sickness meds in a few days. I felt my sickness peak at 8 weeks.
I considered a Doppler due to anxiety reasons once I get past 16 weeks but midwife said it is a complete no no, that it is tricky to find HB, can give anxiety if you cannot find it, can make you think you hear HB when really baby is unwell. So I decided then and there not to have one. Mind you, I know some people say they helped them so I guess it is up to you. Even in my midwife booklet it says don’t buy a Doppler.

@Janefx40 thinking of you this morning and hope your scan went well x

Hi guys. Yes scan went well last night - it was my NIPT test so obviously that brings a whole new set of worries. But bean still there with heartbeat and measuring a little ahead at 10+5. I actually have a more detailed scan this morning with the miscarriage specialist - we did the other test locally so that DP didn't have to take the day off today to come to this one (plus same price anyway for NIPT testing). I checked about 4000 times that it is safe to have 2 tests close together and everyone said yes! Still nervous for today as it's more detailed!!

@MO22 Re Doppler I am on the fence. Medical professionals tend to be risk averse and give advice based on the worst case scenario and the people who won't follow the advice properly but I know I would. I know for example that I wouldn't take the Doppler as false reassurance and assume all was ok if I'd not felt any kicks. For me I think it would be more about these earlier weeks when there's nothing we can actually do anyway to prevent a loss and I can't feel movements. But I was also unsure whether I would hear a heartbeat this early anyway plus don't want another thing to distract me from work! So I think I've decided against it but I would trust myself to use it properly.

Thanks all - it was really going to be until I (hopefully) felt the baby move and like you say @Janefx40 not as a replacement for movement etc. But it does sound like it will be more anxiety inducing than helpful. I was offered an expensive one that a friend doesn't need, so wasn't sure whether to take it or not!

I'm glad your scan went well!

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl great news on the scan booking. I think it's a good idea although the "before scan" bit is pretty awful. Waiting for my scan now and even tho everything was ok last night, I still feel terrified.

Scan today was great. Much slower and more detailed. Bit gutted that DP couldn't be there with me.

He's finding things hard. He's really anxious about the pregnancy but sadly when he is going through something he get distanced and cold which is something I've had to learn to accept but isn't ideal. He didn't even respond to my message saying the scan went well. Sigh. Over the years I've had to learn to accept that he has the right to deal with this trauma in his own way but I do really wish we could share some of this.

@Janefx40 Glad your scan went well today

I find the difference in dealing with grief / trauma / worries hard between me and DH as well.

I struggled a lot with his difference in grieving our losses. I also am on the other side of it and am the anxious one when he is overly positive imo and I find that hard. He is totally convinced this pregnancy will be fine and we will have baby in may. I find it hard or even cringe at his certainties. I even didn’t message him and ignored his messages the other day when I was waiting for my scan out of anxiety, whilst he had to sit outside for ages (was only allowed in for the scan)

Nausea is still clobbering me (had a couple good days on the weekend so thought I might be getting past the worst of it then nope, yesterday and today have been the worst so far. I AM SO SICK OF SNACKING but im having to eat constantly or I feel sick again so it's the better option but UGH.

Have my booking in appointment on Thursday, quite late as I should be 9+5, and I can't imagine there'll be much different to say than last time, but good to get that out of the way anyway.

I have a distraction from the pregnancy now, I have just developed toothache on my crown. It is 10+ yrs old so it is getting to its limit but equally a bad time. I don’t have a nhs dentist and there’s none around accepting at the minute so it’s going to be a costly trip.

@MO22 my symptoms disappeared between 8+4 and 9+4. Then returned, but not as bad. So it can fluctuate.

@Blue2020 well I obviously spoke too soon, I've had a splitting headache all afternoon which I can only chalk up to symptoms I imagine!

I'm so glad all went well @Janefx40

@BellaBella38 hope you don’t mind me joining this thread!

i am 10 weeks pregnant (hopefully!) I’ve had a previous successful pregnancy with DD who is now a toddler but had a MMC back in June and am really struggling with anxiety this time around. I had an early scan at 8 weeks and all was fine showing a heartbeat which was amazing but I have my 10 week scan in the morning and I am terrified because this is the stage we got to last time 😩 have had morning sickness for the last 4 weeks whereas with the MMC I had no pregnancy symptoms at all so really hoping that’s a positive sign 🤞🏻

it’s just nice to know I’m not suffering this anxiety alone xx

@Janefx40 great news! Glad it went well.

@Hello44 welcome and congrats. :)

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl hope your scan went well today!

Ooo yes @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl it's tonight isn't it. Fingers crossed x

Thanks @Janefx40 @MO22 it did! Just out. Sonographer estimated a bit further forward - 11+2 ish so also had a look at structures etc and said all looks good. 😊

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl brilliant news, also great to be further forward! When is your next scan? Are you feeling a bit more relaxed now at all?