FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

Fuck me I've been awake since 5 .

Anyone else's newborn appear to allow food to pass straight through? We get a lot of wet trumps here, and whilst I'm sure it isn't going straight through, it does seem a little unpleasant for him. He doesn't cry or scream so I don't think it's colicky wind, but it seems to cause knee-hoisting discomfort until he's 'empty'. It just seems a bit, well, not normal. And every nappy we change has poo in it. I can count the number without since he was born on the fingers of one hand.

Have I made him dead?

silver as cunty said, please do not be scared. The hard bit lasts mere hours. That is nothing when you consider that you then get an amazing child for the rest of your life. Sounds twee, but four weeks later, I would honestly say it's not That Bad. Just prep all you can and embrace it. It will be ok.

Squeaker was like that pre reflux (and pre meds) cunty. and she spends hours each day grunting and straining. apparently this is normal and she'll settle once used to her own bodily functions. Just a shame she keeps me awake. at least i now know the difference between those noises and the call for a feed.

meds have made poo thicker, but not solid. i was worried she was having trouble there, but no classic constip signs, so i guess (hope) she's ok.

Just had best night yet. I ate cereal and pumped and checked email before she fully woke! just started feeding now. hope this continues.

Good news cas - amazing how much a sleep top up can help your sanity eh? Long may it continue

The one comedy element of this digestive mither is the range of rubbery faces Rastus can pull. My two faves are the little pursed mouth, like a little 'o', and the wide stretchy mouth with his lips pressed together. Mirth-inducing

We have "tiny mouth" here too! Tho 'tis usually reserved for more peaceful, cute moments. Her daddy loves that one. Straining brings more red-faced, old-man gurning and holding hands together in a praying fashion. Tres amusement, indeed

Right, time for major burpage. This refluc malarky is hard work.

Hasta luego FESHs

(FESH/PESH vibes to iggy. Assuming no news is good news xxx)

Silver get your act together woman! I had nightmare last time, and you just shrug afterwards and go 'well, she had to get out someway.' I am less than 8 weeks max away from number 2 and already thinking 'bring it on!' Can't deny it stings a bit, but you take it in your stride.

Oh yes!

No news is sadly, no news....

Today I am 98% hormone... I could cry or laugh at any given moment...

Off to buy some plants...

aww iggy. Not sure whether to hug you or kick you. Probably wouldn't matter. So I'll just send some more BUMSEX. Hope the plants are good to you.

haha, we have "tiny O" too which makes us laugh. We've taken to walking up to each other, pulling an aforementioned rubber face and saying "who am I?".

As for poos, the last 48 hours have changed everything, we're now down from 7/8 pooey nappies a day to only 2. However, I do not wish to scare you with the sheer quantity of poo found within these twice daily nappies. Ginger would be proud!

Am very pleased with Dr. Browns still - two nighttime feeds done and dusted and everyone back to bed in under 25 minutes. Get in!

silver I was not prepared for my birth, having only had one day of mat leave I was all prepared to do my hippo stuff later in the week... I'd even bought myself an ipod docking station so I could listen to it in luxury. My birth went totally and utterly fucking wrong of course but I was able to do some heavy breathing through it and kind of "zone out" to some extent. But we are all tough nuts here and most of us have been stamped on, sat on or rolled on by our nags at some point and we've all got up and got back on (snivelling as we did more than likely)! I would recommend trying the hippo stuff and reading up on what can/might actually happen so it doesn't get thrown in your face like mine did. I was in hospital waiting and I asked jailbait to bring one of my books in so I could read up and he forgot - it was the wrong time to ball him out I felt - but it did leave me bereft of information. Get as much as you can now!

Poor iggy Any chance of taking the dog somewhere really miles away from home with treacherous stiles to climb and dodgy mobile reception? That oughta do it. Have you been poking your cervix to make sure? I do seem to remember I predicted you were going to be late - but for your own sanity I really hope things get a shift on asap so you get to meet your little champ.

Glad you are liking Dr B's ski. Did you get the tiny cleaning brush for the fiddly bits (came with mine)? I found them a real faff at first, but am used to it now. Also helps that I discovered the rubbery bit separates from the plastic bit of the insert. . Need to buy more really. I like to prep the last thing, middle of the night and first thing feeds in one go but have only two Dr B bottles.

Although madam skipped her last thing feed last night after completely conking out on the changing table.

The above is Squeaker having a poo

casp I would add and into that mix. Then a big lopsided when it's done.

haha curly re poo!

Yes, got the funny pipe cleaner brush for the tube so that's OK, it's more the actual bottle itself because my washing up brush is too big for the neck... am thinking old toothbrush.

ahhh, I see. I still has the bottle brush that came with the Tommy Tippees. Old toothbrush sounds good idea.

FP - yes, and those too!

am actually managing housework today as child sleeps. praise the Gaviscon God - this is worlds away from this time last week. thank fuck.

Fanks FESHs. I have t'hippo book to make a start on. Will have a read of that in the bath tonight.

I am soooooooooo tired. Mega tired. Could fall asleep any second tired. I am sure the blood test that is iminent will wake me up.

I haz MW appt next week. Experts tell me when I next see someone is it 30 wks?

Am just having my lunch... this is playing havoc with personal routines!!

sliver I think it's every fortnight after 30 weerks...

AIBU to have chosen Rastus's secondary school already?

Tiffins in a skirt?

In a skirt? I imagine that that kind of radicalism will Not Go Down Well at Tiffs Tempting though...

I've got to admit that schooling is far from my worries as I don't know which country we'll be living in - never mind which county or town! I'm also rather laissez-faire about it all, figuring that Bear will either be as thick as mince and it'll make no difference or he'll be a wee genius and will need (!) to self-educate at the library or online and that classrooms don't provide enough. Or, third option I'll home educate and Bear will turn out like Lauren Harries!

FP can you resend me the link to your pram double thingy again? Was it a City Mini Baby Jogger?

Speaking of poo (again) - I took a picture of the black early poo that came out of mini C to show the mw! I could not believe so much could come out; she did not want to see the picture, said whatever the quantity was it was normal! I have still got picture to show him when he is older

Also, just rememebered the NCT chart of poos! Does anyone else have this? Pictures of poos and the different colours for the early weeks. It cracked me up!

okie that features in the Haynes baby manual I bought for Hom. V intriguing...

Please to scan encyclopedia of poo?

I has done the sex! Nipple leakage check, sunroof leakage check.

Today I haz Grizzly Bear. I did 4am feed and back to bed. Jailbait did 7-10am shift and apparently it was a hard one, lovely lie-in for me though!