FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

ski I have a serious grunter as well. She spends ages when she wakes up trying to poo, and pulls all sorts of faces and makes some horrible noises -very sex-pest-ish as you say! Poor soul.

A degree of calm has been restored though - Gaviscon, Infacol and Dr Brown's bottles = a much happier little Squeaker!

Will try a sesh with CO too, though. SFF is not convinced, but I've told him we'll give it a bosh. We certainly can't afford to keep going, so I am assured by cunty's boy needing just one visit. They'll have a field day if they clock on to all my problems though - I can already see the pound signs flashing before their eyes!

Squeaker and I were both at doc yesterday. I was quietly worried for a few days that I was suffering a vaginal (and possibly anal) prolapse. Lots of bits, ahem, hanging out. Very relieved to hear that I just have one small external pile and a redesigned vagina. Must step-up the pelvics - I am not keen on the new look CasperFanj. It had changed in the last week FFS! Not Impressed.

Bear has been on the go for 4 hours and 19 minutes - every time I put him down he screams.

curly That sounds awful. Do you spend a lot of time looking at CasperFanj?

No ski, but it feels very different. I spend weeks inspecting my wounds, with everything feeling otherwise fine, and then I find the wounds are all healed but there's bits where there weren't previously. I don't dare have a proper look. Or let him look

Lift and squeeze, Lift and squeeze.... Repeat X forever

Right, I must rescue child and father from bed and prepare for washing machine delivery - the excitement!

I had a twinkle-crisis myself last night cas - had a half look last night and looked all wrong . And I still can't stand or sit on loo for any length of time cos the pressure on it is immense. I wept real tears last night, and no, Hom is not going in for a look . Can't wait for six week check to see if everything is ok...

I can't compete on the fanjo but I appear to have an infection in my section scar. So I'm off to the hospital this afternoon to get it checked. You know, normally I wouldn't give a flying fuck about a small infection on the skin - but as this has a direct line to my uterus which I intend to be using again shortly I have to get it checked out. Damn this hot weather - I want to be on the Hebrides striding (shuffling) along the beach with my knickers off.

I was going to have sex last night but fell asleep instead.

very glad I am not alone cunty, but of course I am not happy that you are having the same crisis. I am really surprised by the continuing pains shooting down there. I was going to wait until the six-week check, (actually mine is 8 weeks I think) but just spoke up at the doc's and she took a look and said she could not see anything medically abnormal. Hope you can get back to "normality" soon. Meanwhile, have this painkiller-laced cocktail.

ski am well impressed that you even had intentions to shag. Nutter!. Hope you can get the scar sorted today. BTW, not sure Hebridean sand and seasalt would be very soothing... (and remember, it's midge season as well - ouch!)

Do little babies dream? Squeaker is sleeping next to me and has twice suddenly let out one big cry, bright red face and all, and then returned to complete calm and serenity. Looks to me like the equivalent of shouting out in your sleep. Hope she's not seeing scary boobs with teeth; or even reliving the birth experience. Poor pet

lol cas Rastus definitely dreams- he suckles, shouts out, face crumples and then serentiy again. Particularly in favour of the dreams which startle him, thus treating us all to his jazz hands . Funny fucker he is

Really ski? Sex? Has anyone actually done it yet? I don't imagine it's on the agenda for the Amityville crew, and despite my early inclinations I'm quite terrified of those horrible fanjo pains returning so am rather hesitant. First to do the deed please report back.

Sorry about the infection ski. And hope the debrief goes well. You will probably continue to have questions over the coming months so maybe ask if you can keep the lines of communication open.

Clyde is 6 weeks old today. Our GP check is booked for tomorrow. I was thinking yesterday about the CO stuff, and how on earth I'd find one in the middle of nowhere. Then I remembered that my GP's husband is an osteopath! I'm assuming she doesn't think her own husband is a complete quack so I'll ask her about it tomorrow.

cunty @ jazz hands

Never again fanny

seconded.

We used to wonder what a newborn baby dreams about, but watching DD's face when she slept we reckon her dreams went something like this; 'Mmmm - milk! Aaaaargh - poo! mmmm - milk! Aaaaargh - poo! mmmm - milk! Aaaaargh - poo!' Just think about it - you've spent months in a state of blissful suspended animation in your mother's womb, and then you are squeezed out into the bright light only to discover you now have hunger to contend with, which can be soothed with lovely milk, which in turn leads to the horror of bowel motions!

On a slightly related and very funny note - DD has started announcing that it is time for me to get HER baby out of my tummy, and that she would like to go back in there!

ski you are showing off surely????

curly Apparently the dream on Wimbledon Common so they should dream when out. Bear goes from greety face to a really lovely smile (can't wait for the real thing!) and some jazz hands/legs thrown in for good measure.

Am back from the hospital and apparently the wound is not infected... I just need to top myself up with more painkillers. Am bored of being invalid. No de-brief today, it was just an in and out and me whipping down my knickers and saying "inspect this, bitch" in the style of cunty.

Yes, I want to do the sex! With my boyfriend and everyfink!

Jailbait let me sleep for 2.5 hours this afternoon which was utter bliss. Small pleasures eh?

Well impressed with Ski's sex desires. RL friend go updiffed again 3 months after c section - I was more shocked that she had had sex than the diffment! Took 3 months for us to do the deed again last time and despite my concerns and the joke that is was like "waving a flag in the Albert Hall" Mr C said it was actually relatively normale!

Cas cunty do you have that "dragging" feeling like your insides are going to fall out of your fanjo?

Really cokie? I was told I shouldn't start TTC for 6 months due to section... but I figured what would they do? Force me to apply a coathanger? I think we'll start trying again in November or so - a move back to the BESH boards.

Still no actual real sex to be reported this end - this is mostly due to the fact that every time we head for bed Bear decides that actually he doesn't want a little brother or sister, he'd prefer some dinner instead!

What help is there on offer for women who feel a little "disjointed" downstairs? Why isn't this talked about? Is this something you can cover in your NCT newsletter carrots? It seems to be quite a big and distressing issue.

Yes, okes esp when sat on toilet. Feels like all the blood is pooling in Fanjo Without.

Yes Ski. Maybe the 6 months wait is more to do with the closer they are together the more likely you will have to have another c-section due to possible rupturing of tear scenario. But yes, she has 2, just over 12 months apart - both delievered by section.

Cunty all I can say about insides feeling like they are falling out is that it does get better! I used to walk very slowly and yes, things inside have moved about a bit and are not where they were before but I believe that is kind of normal. I can't remember exactly when that "dragging2 sensation went - a couple of months maybe??

oh joy!

ski I imagine the six month wait is because the various important internal layers that have been sewn together need to be reasonably strong before being subjected to the pressure of another baybee on the scars. That's what I imagine in my head, anyway. They did talk to me about where the weak places from the previous c-section were.

It's my six week check up today. Now need to write myself a list of Important Questions.

fanny Make sense to me - I have no desire to lose a subsequent pregnancy because the seal on the sunroof isn't quite right.

How did your check up go and what were your questions?

curly Thank you for the Dr Browns recommendation, I picked one up today and it was the easiest "dinnertime" feed I've had so far (!) - no puking and only one burp, but generally a happy baby. Bloody mucky bottle to clean though... not so great for on the move - that would be my only complaint!

I met a couple of friends today in town at a cafe in a pedestrianised area. Temps were a bit lower today (27) so we were out in the sunshine - Bear was greatly admired and we sat in the sun gossiping, drinking coffee & smokin' tabs! Wonderful. Bear was given a winter sleepsuit, 3 cuddly toys, salopettes, ski jacket, jeans & jumper! Baby = free stuff! And I didn't even have to pay for my coffee! He was amazing, he didn't wake up and he got cuddled by two new ladies and the other kids were fascinated. Everyone smiles when they see him.

I've just been watching OBEM and now have yet more questions for my debrief . I remember some of you talking about "mooing" and I didn't really know what you meant until I watched a girl mooing and I thought "feck, I remember doing that" - so what part of labour was that? What should have been happening to me at that stage?

I'm still trying to work through it all with jailbait and figure out what happened.

I mooed in the latter part of the 1st stage whilst the contractions were stronger, if that helps...

I have no shame in admitting I am totally scared about the whole birthing part. Is it too late to do a deal with the stork!? Totally happy to incubate baybee for as long as required just would prefer stork to do the hard and painful part for me.

Honestly slither, in my experience it really isn't as bad as all that, and it is finite. I strongly recommend you go down the hypnobirthing/natal hypnotherapy route. I swear I completely glazed over and it was all very very managable. The pushing element, from what I recall, is hard work but not especially painful as such - just weird, but your body completely takes over. The most painful parts of it all for me were a) after the syntocin drip had finished and before they were allegedly going to take me for a cs (which didn't happen) when I needed to push but wasn't allowed to - v unlikely to happen to you, and b) a sharp shock at crowning which is over in minutes.

Don't be scared about it. If you go into it right, and do your mental prep I promise it won't be as bad as you think.