The CRESH spa and creche: we ALL deserve crap ham

[FannyPriceless]

Enter all ye ESHes. We've been Barren, we've been Pregnant - now at last we are Child-Rearing.

• Come share your questionable tips on raising a real live baybee!
• Compete with Cunty to take control of the bad mummy crown!
• Eat crap ham - after all, you deserve it!

You got a line, Alps?! Hurrah!

Huzzah for ExtremeTwinz!!!

you can't post that and then FUCK OFF WITH NO FURTHER DETAILS FORTHCOMING YOU CAH!!!

haha cossie. Wellll, we were chatting yesterday and he said he "didn't really like sex when I was pregnant" and then last night Bear was vomiting from midnight to 4am pretty solidly (looks like culprit is jacuzzi - no more for him!). So I POAS at 7am and he said something like "well kick a man when he's down".

I did actually get a line yesterday morning but it was an internet cheapie and I ignored it/was too busy/tired/whacked to pay attention. Then, having got a line again this morning and handed it over for a "sooooo, what do you think of this?" - I am now accepting that a line is a line.

WOOOO BLEEEDING HOOOOO!!!!! am soooo chuffed for you alpro I really am

you haven't even moved house that recently or anyfink.

Diffed????

I know, barely even carried a cake this month.

I'm really happy but a little scared of the possible sickness to come - but we've had a chat and just going to have to try and take it on the chin. Every time I vomit, it's a hormone surge which means the baybee's growing.

Timing is pretty good as am going to my parents next week so can try and find someone to take on the nag until next spring as I'm certainly not going to have the energy this time what with looking after Bear too.

I'm v v v happy. I think jb is too as I was threatening him with nurses & cups & magazines & shit.

We gotta have an original ESH in the deli at all times right?

And, having seen laurie's fucking amazing photos I want an elcs with my make-up and hair "just so" pls!

I know she looks fab doesn't she!

Sooooo, which one of you lot is next?

Haha, well done Alps! No looking my way now. I'm looking forward to a few years of horses and planes and absolutely no being pregnant at all. Or ever again fro that matter!

Oh yes, and skiing and drinking and cheese. So many things I need to keep me happy.....

pooooooooooone that's great news. So pleased for you :o Can't believe you 'ignored' a line yesterday. Tsk.

I wish it were me, I am well broody. Alas I cannot get TGO to agree yet.

oh yeah, that and I cannot be arsed to have the sechs.

boxer Yep, I'll miss skiing this winter. Oh well, it will all be worth it.

rocket pfff - I'm not as bad as VAG!

cossie We only did it twice before OV. At least he bothered to send in some who could swim this time.

OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Alps that is fab news! Hooray! Hooray! And also well done for admitting diffedness prior to birth.

And OMG TWINZ! Huzzah for Streme!! Oh this is a happy place today!

Thanks for milk-supply comments all - I will drink so much water I am confined to the loo all day and try not to stress and see what comes - will keep you posted.

Muse glad night waking is slowing dwn, growth spurts really mess with patterns.

Cos yay for tooth!

boxy - nip tooth combo terrifying - luckily only bottom line here. I keep forgetting LG is only a bit older than Clint, seems to be developmentally way ahead.

Bloody hell Alps - that is tremendous news

Excellent birth story too Rocket. Jnr consultant sound like a complete wanker who needs putting back in his place.

Another vote for the Togz all-in-one Silv - you can sit them in a puddle and they still won't get wet!!

Farking hell, I spend my morning trapped under an unwell child and miss all this blood wonderful news! Congratuma-fucking-lations alps! Can't believe one of my summer 2010 peers is diffed. Am well chuffed for you. Like cos I am broody, but have to sort out so much before I can go there. like doing the sechs, mental stability, physical stability, finanical stability....
A february baby? Looking forward to congratulating you in person in a couple of weeks.

And xtreeeeeeeeeemmmmeeelly good news on the OMGTWINNNZZZZ1!!1!1!! I'm off to see what's been said on FB.

Congrats Pone, hoping your diffment sparks off a new mass summer diffment amongst the BESH. I wants more BESH BAYBEEEEEES!

Points and laughs at alpro. Ha ha ha! You're going to have a closer age gap than me!!
No - it's wonderful, truly it is.

In all seriousness, totally thrilled for you. And yes - do start planning your hair and make up scheme now for those gorgeous elcs photos. I have some beauties.

Yay for extremetwinz!! Fab, so fab!

I had another horsie lesson today at some different stables (much closer). They teach 'Enlightened Riding'. Yes, I've never heard of it either. Apparently 'It's a totally new way of riding'. They make you point your knees firmly inwards and have no lower leg contact at all. This is a joke, right? Should I go back? They are very nice, and prepared to let Bonnie ride even at age 2.5, but will insist she learns this weird method. Opinions? *

• Though perhaps to avoid pissing off non-horsy ESHes I should really start a thread in the tack room. Will do if I get time later - have to make kids' tea now before MrP arrives home from his hellish afternoon at the play barn.

Oh congrats there alps what a result my friend ! Fancy ignoring a line you chump! Don't you be looking this way though. We are in no position to afford another. Not like my boss's daughter who has just shelled her second benefits baby

Is that ye auld Mary Wanless fanjobanjo?

Thank you everyone, not only do we need further diffment, but we need a whole RE-BESH movement.

fanny In an ideal world I'd like 3 under 3 - this is planned, as are your two. Nobody ever calls the mother of twins a "daft cunt". I'm happy with my choice.

cunty The words I have for that are not appreciated on mn. I heard on the radio last week that the dutch government are cutting down on creche subsidies. Anyone earning over 130k will have to pay for themselves. It's a fucked up situation where only the very rich or those with no intention of supporting themselves can have Von Trapp style families. :(

fanny How would you ask the horse to kick off on a particular leg if not using your own lower leg? Are you supposed to have total control through your vagina or something?

The thought of three under three scares me more than a little. I think small age gaps are nice though. As are big ones. I have already asked TBG when we can have another. But I have this implant in me arm to stop me going crazy. Not that we are doing much of anything to make a baby at the moment.

Congratulations Alpine but 3 under 3?!?!?! [Shudder]. Am just about recovering sanity from the first 6 months of just the one (there are some who would question that but they can just stay away with their white coats).

We had some fun with the gas 'n' air during our home birth...bottle emptied and the 3 midwives present between them couldn't figure out how to connect the new one. I was sitting in my pool trying to be zen about the possibility that I would be finishing the job without assistance/wondering how much harm reattaching the Tens machine could really do in water... Fortunately me other half managed to figure it out himself...benefits of having spent years working in the diving industry in our past. You'd think "working the gas and air" would be part of the training non?

Hello! Random gatecrasher here. Was feeling like a virtual Billy No Mates so decided to sit in the corner here and munch on some Cheesywotsits. Would you liks to share some of my Blue Nun in celebration of your entry to a life of being addressed as "Babyleaf's Mum"? Am I the only one who still can't quite get used to being called that and looks over my shoulder for a responsible looking adult?