Should we tolerate this in the UK?

[Justinthekitchen]

I am aware that other cultures have different values and traditions, but should we really be tolerating this sort of behaviour in the UK?

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16199187/Exposed-British-imams-telling-men-beat-wives-say-NO-sex-police-ministers-failing-crack-them.html

Yet it seems that certain political parties are willing to turn a blind eye to this sort of thing so that they can secure votes from a certain section of the electorate who often vote as a family unit.

I really thought we had moved on from this sort of thing in the West, but disappointingly it seems I am sadly mistaken.

The political parties speaking out against this openly welcome domestic abusers who do exactly the same. I'm not sure the cultural differences you think exist are particularly varied.

Utterly shocking and horrifying. What's happening to us?!

This is not acceptable. It wouldn't be acceptable if a white atheist bloke said it, nor if a Muslim immigrant says it. I can't believe that there isn't a law that can cover this and see the police take action. Then they wonder why people complain about two-tier policing.

Its male culture.

No one regardless of culture should be tolerated saying this. It does kind of surprise me though that these are young men saying this, I would have thought times had moved on and it would be more of the older generation that would think like this

What an awful thing to say. Please do not tar all men with the same brush. My DH and all the men I have known over the years would never think that such a thing is appropriate or acceptable.

There is a law against marital rape in the UK, as well as against domestic violence.

Unfortunately, it is more difficult for some women than others to gain access to justice in this situation.

They may not be aware of the law. They may be told that the law is irrelevant and that God's law is a higher law and must be obeyed.

They may not speak English and so find it hard to communicate what is happening to them.

They may not have freedom of movement in their homes, or their community. Others in the community may tell them this is normal and should be tolerated.

I believe there are many women's groups in all different types of community that are trying very hard to help. They need support from us all.

Absolutely, but sadly it seems we seem to be importing more and more of these young men on a daily basis from third world cultures where women are generally treated like second class citizens.

You started the thread! Are you saying that it's specifically an issue with Muslims or brown people then? Are you not tarring them with the same brush?

It's a male violence and male entitlement issue.

Well, we seem to tolerate it an awful lot from white British men OP, so why don’t you start a thread about that?

After every England football match, domestic violence rates go up - regardless of whether England win or lose.

I wouldn’t mind those men being deported.

So are you REALLY trying to suggest that because white British men also occasionally commit acts of domestic violence, we shouldn't be overly concerned about these religious leaders condoning and promoting this sort of thing in there own communities?

It really isn't, but it is definitely cultural.

Do church leaders actively promote this behaviour though? Is it ever considered acceptable behaviour among the Christian community? Is this behaviour promoted by football clubs and by leaders within their supporter organisations? Sounds like you're trying to make excuses so you can justify or turn a blind eye to it.

I think it would be good if somebody beat him. Just sayin’ .
Seriously - of course we should not tolerate it. But politicians who warned about this sort of thing 50 years ago were pilloried and ignored. Even now there are plenty of liberal Londoners who will think the Mail made this up and anyone who takes it seriously is a little Englander. Who don’t care about the Pakistani rape gangs and haven’t ever bothered to read a full news story or watch a documentary and really understand the extent and awfulness of what happened and the woeful official response.
We have only ourselves and our politicians to blame.

Don’t be ridiculous. When have you ever seen a church or community leader encourage domestic violence?

No it isn’t. The vast majority of men do not beat their wives, nor would they ever dream of doing so.

Deported to where exactly, since I am guessing they would be English? Prison perhaps.

But it sounds like apart from the drinking, they would fit right in with the culture of some of the countries where these Imams come from.

But given we clearly have our own home-grown problems with some British men that don't get dealt with effectively enough, do we really need to import even more of these sorts of misogynistic and backward thinking men from abroad?

The fact that English men commit DV doesn’t mean we should tolerate it from incomers, or that we should deport offenders from their own country.
That is a major enough problem on its own, without us tolerating religious and community leaders who encourage such behaviour.

This must be the type of person who worked in all those councils and police forces who turned a blind eye to those Pakistani rape gangs so that the perpetrators were allowed to continue unchecked for so long.

@Minasama I didn’t elect the police turned a blind eye. I didn’t elect the social workers who didn’t keep dc safe. It’s not all about what politics can do. Not much when we have poor services who don’t stem up. For decades awful
men have got away with a lot. There’s not much individuals on MN can do but we get the politicians we elect and they don’t control the police in such matters. Look at the quality of chief police officers and you can see the issues. Lots have been investigated and aren’t up to the job.

Exactly. And it is not age either. My grandad never tolerated violence and I'm sure he wasn't the only one to be sickened by DV, and actively challenge any abuse he heard about. A small minority of men, and women, think it's ok for men to tell their wives how to dress/behave and hit them if they refuse. Most don't.

Have a dip into some of the Christian Nationalist stuff coming out of the US then come back and tell me I am being ridiculous. I’ll wait…

There’s a huge difference between men committing domestic violence despite what’s taught in schools and churches, and men being taught by their leaders that DV is the appropriate response to a woman resisting rape.

Huge difference and it’s disingenuous to suggest otherwise.

White British men only “occasionally” do this? You are going to have to try much harder OP. Your true colours are on show for all to see.