humping dog

[Blondeshavemorefun]

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp

our monster is

starting to hump

eldest had friend over last week for play after school (and yes this blonde cooked a fab homemade meal - but i regress ...)

friend 6 was kneeling on grass,and puppy crouched over him and was about to hump, when i saw, and yelled,and dog ran away - friend was ok - didnt know what had happened

yesterday was worse

more friends over and boy 5 was just standing in garden, when monster puppy went up to him, put his paws on shoulder and literally was trying to shag him

boy fell over, and dog carried on - i was at other end of garden (its a big one) and i yelled and charged to end of garden to try and pull dog off

remember he is 10.5 stone - dog ran off, and i yelled at him, and put him in his cage

mb was at home and asked what dog had done (she heard me screaming at dog) and i said dog had just tried to shag friend

mb was and

luckily friend5 didnt know what had really happened, and we just said dog was naughty for pushing him over

i want to chop his balls off NOW, as does mb but db wants to breed from him,as he is a pedigree and a lovely boy (normally)

he is 13mths - how old does a dog have to be to be a daddy?

so

bella, king and anyone else

what do we do to stop it?

thank you

Well then we shall have to refer to the oracle on all matters sexual.

Oh, BLOOOOOOOOOOOOONDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!

She will be busy wrecking her sofa by this time won't she?

Can't think where the dog gets the idea to hump everything that moves, can you?

I have no advice but would just like to share that I have a bitch that loves to hump my Shaun the sheep footstool...
...and stares at us whilst she does it.

Beautiful and touching image there, Ferret

She sounds fab Ferret

My late lamented JRT always humped my sister's boyfriends. He never ever tried it on with anyone else. The worst part was he used to climb nto the back of the settee and hump their heads in an agressive manner.
Mind you, they were all dick heads. Perhaps the dog was trying to tell her something.

lol, otherside

So, was I right in my interpretation of the smutty phrase? Just need to know so I can drop it in to the conversation next time I'm at a WI meeting

Jerk off/Pull off etc etc, isn't there some kind of urban dictionary to admit to this kind of knowledge? I hate to bismirch my innocent image

You fool nobody, KC.

Urban dictionary says wank.

One presumes one knows what wank is, sweetie?

You may know Bella, I, on the other hand, have no idea what you are talking about

wtf is a cat bum face?

Do you mean all puckered up like my little kitty's anus?

Gawd, you're rude

No, it is my judgy, lady dressed in florals, sipping tea with the WI face - and you have been judged

Pah - that's it! Bella is off to bed. With a hot water bottle. In July

In the morning I shall either have H1N1 or I shall be joining Netmums. I am sure their Pets section has a little more decorum to it.

Good night all, you filthy lot

I am fairly sure their pets section doesn't have humping, or weeing in obscure places, or running off when off lead - in fact I am prepared to bet that their pets section doesn't have any fun at all - you will be back

Night bella, hope you feel better tommorow!

Guten Morgen, y'all.

Fine day for it, don't you fink?

Ze beautiful gorgeous Bella az asked me to pass on a few messages.

Ze hast not got ze schwein flu. Even if ze az, er immune system iz zo fecking strong due to her 12 a day and unlimited Nigella pavlova diet, zat she vill shake it off in no time.

Ze hast looked at ze Netmums. Ist very disappointing. No pets. No bumsex. Ze knows now, however, zat she must keep an important box under ze stairs vor ze essential fings like sellotape, screwdrivers, etc. Bella finks gin vood be a useful addition to zis box.

Now, Ich get to say mein bit, bitte. Ich bin so feckin horny. Ich vood do it viff a mangey old chihuahua if Ich got ze chance. Ist no gut. Eef it az ein furry bum and ein tail Ich want to shag it, big time. Ze neighbourhood cats are giving me ein wide berth.

Right, off to look at some doggy porn. This week's izzue hast ein very fit looking Weimaraner, zo ich bin gagging fur it.

laterz, y'all.

Woofa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx(oops - bit carried avay there - ist ze hormones you understand).

dear god - i spend a bit of time with mr blondes and come back to this dreadful hijack and my good name dragged through the mud - yet again!!!

othresideofthefence - was a simple typo - i PROMISE you that I have NEVER tugged off our dog - and nor will i!!!

BELA and KING - what on earth makes you think the dog has learnt his sexual humping from me

I can assure you both that I have never humped at my work!!!!

what have joints got to do with chopping off his balls?

i will try a water pistol if he starts again - as you may remember the woofa doesnt like getting paws wet (such a wimp for one so big)

ferret - least your bitch is shagging a male (though who really knows with sheep )

both times my woofa has gone for a male child - do you think 10.5 stone may be gay?

and def no over eating hob nobs - blonde does like a knob in her mouth

I am reliably informed (by Bella ) that testosterone helps close their growth plates, chopping them too young can cause the plates not to close properly meaning they get too tall and their joints are put under even more strain than 10.5stone already puts them under.

Odd though - I wonder what happens to female dogs

Actually research and my vet backed up bellas ramblings so I have put off taking pup for the chop for 6 months or more - if I can manage to wait the long

Hi girls - sorry, have had a nightmare day. Fecking Jon Bon Jovi. Again. Can't live without you, babe. Miss you so much, babe. Tell me you love me, babe. You know I wrote that song for you, babe (Always).

I keep telling him the same thing. It was a one night stand. Get over it. You were good, but not that good. Get a life. Go on tour or something. Stop mooching round Bella's kitchen making the place look untidy. Even in your tight stonewashed jeans...

Where was I?

mr blondes says

young,dumb and full of cum

about my humping hound!!!

pmsl

in fact, roflpmsast

(rofl pms at same time)

Don't worry yourself Bella, I told him he had to give you the opportunity for sympathy sex at least twice more before he can leg it back to his natural home with me, I feel that someone who has gone to such desperate lengths as you should get some reward.

He did ask me to try and get you to loosen the leg chains a bit in the mean time though, they are starting to cut through the cowboy boots...

You crack me up. No, really.

You can keep him honey. Got my work cut out with Ioan Gruffffudddddd anyway

Actually, do you think you could keep the leg chains on until the weekend? I have Mr Depp here until then... after that I should be ok for a week or so until Mr Bach arrives... hmm, can I send him back your way then? Those two do not get on so well

You lot make me laugh

I think female dogs are fine to get spayed after there first season so there growth plates musn't be effected. Its not as important to wait with smaller dogs either plus they mature earlier.

Some animal rescues (inc the RSPCA i think) chop the bits of all there pups as early as 12 weeks (obviously to stop another load of pups coming through the door but that is very early)